Welcome one and all, to the series premiere of Shrunken Suburban Survivor, where we take eight highly trained survival experts and drop them off in the most extreme and unpredictable environment in a challenge that's never been done before. They're going to attempt to survive at one millimeter tall, in the home of an unaware woman.

You heard that right, as we speak our contestants, who have been reduced to less than insects, are now being transported to various random locations in the home of the beautiful Julia Parker. This single mother has been living by herself ever since her daughter Ashley moved to college downtown. Although she stands at five feet six inches tall to you and me, she will completely tower over our shrunken contestants at nearly two miles tall.

While the primary goal of our contestants is to simply survive, they're going to have no choice but to get up close and personal with the colossal beauty if they want a shot at the grand cash prize. For you see ladies and gentlemen, although $100,000 will be rewarded to the last survivalist standing, an even bigger prize of $500,000 will be given to anyone who can catch Julia's attention and get her to call our number, declaring you as the automatic winner. But beware! The mind and habits of this mountainous woman are largely unknown, and there's no telling what might happen as she goes about her daily routine that could flip the game in an instant.

With all that out of the way, it's now the to introduce our survivalists! Along with being granted a little extra strength, speed, and durability from the shrinking, each of these mite-sized contestants has been allowed 10 items of their choice. Along with that, they've also been provided with camera equipment so they can document their experience trying to survive the motherly titan.

Up first we have Carl Flynn! While this 19 year old liberal arts student from Burbank California may not have as much survival experience as our other contestants, he claims to have to wit and determination to take home the prize. Carl will be dropped off on Julia's bathroom sink.

Next up is 25 year old Diego Hernandez from Portland Oregon! Although he works as a marketting consultant, primitive camping is one of Diego's favorite pastimes. He says he has the experience to survive through anything, even in these unusual circumstances. These claims will be put to the test as Diego will be getting dropped off in the hallway closet.

33 year old Katya Howard has been an investigative journalist in New York City for over a decade now. According to her, her key to victory will be her ability to lay low and stay hidden. We'll see about that, as she tries to survive something even bigger than the Big Apple on Julia's couch.

Rounding up the first half of our contestants is our oldest competitor, 49 year old Steve McNair from Boston Massachusetts. Steve has spent much of his life sitting at a desk as a software engineer, and he says he's ready for one final adventure before settling down and retiring. We'll see just how much adventure he can have, as he's getting dropped off on Julia's bed.

All the way from Juno Alaska, we have Miranda Thompson! Although this 36 year old doesn't have much survival knowledge, she's been working as a house cleaner for many years now. She claims that she'll win through the experience she's had working in homes and dealing with women like Julia. Only time will tell if these claims are true for Ms. Thompson, getting dropped off on the kitchen floor.

Up next we have the death defying stuntman, John Watson! This 27 year old from Tallahassee Florida has spent his life working on movie sets as a stunt double for action scenes, and is now ready to claim true fame performing things that no man has done before. We'll be sure to keep an eye on Mr. Watson, getting dropped off on top of Julia's fridge.

Dropping off in Julia's bathtub, we have 21 year old Will Bradbury from El Paso Texas! This agriculture student claims that after spending his life working in the fields of his family's ranch, surviving in an air-conditioned home should be a breeze. We'll see about that Will.

Last but not least, we have Reida Peterson from Portland Oregon! This 29 year old has been working as a freelance artist for many years, and hopes to take home the big cash prize and use the money to build the art studio of her dreams. We wish Reida the best of luck as she gets dropped off on Julia's coffee table.

Eight contestants. One cash prize. The only thing standing between the them is a suburban mother of unfathomable size. Who will come out on top and who will remain as a bug beneath Julia's feet? Without further ado, let the survival challenge begin!

Day 1

Carl Flynn

Time: 8:19 a.m.

Location: Bathroom Sink

Carl trekked across the endless marble surface as he searched for anything that would aid him on his quest for survival, doing his best to document Julia’s bathroom counter in the darkness along the way. His flashlight ran across bottles of hair products looming ominously in the distance and illuminated the strands of hair as thick as metal cables that stretched for hundreds of feet across the bathroom sink. The air smelled of hair spray, and the residue-covered ground felt slightly sticky beneath his feet. While Carl was focused on shining his light into the lake-sized basin that was the bathroom sink, he walked face first into an enormous structure.

Obscuring his path was Julia’s enormous toothbrush. Larger than an overturned skyscraper, the green and white cleaning device sprawled across the counter, facing upward. As Carl shined his light over the structure, something dull caught his eye amongst the reflective bristles. Upon closer inspection, Carl realized it was an old piece of food that had gotten caught in the brush.

“There’s something I can use,” the shrunken boy said. He turned his flashlight off and began his journey to the head of the brush to obtain his first meal.

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Steve McNair

Time: 8:27 a.m.

Location: Julia’s Bed

“Alright then, is this thing on?” Steve said as he checked the camera. “So, the helicopter dropped me off on what I’m pretty sure is a bed. I’ve been climbing up a fold of sheet for about 10 minutes now, and I don’t think I’m alone up here.”

Steve turned the camera around to reveal the enormous sleeping form of Julia Parker far off in the distance, laying on her side away from Steve. Her body stretched for miles like a mountain range as Steve slowly panned the camera across her toned calves, the curves of her hips and waist, the outline of her chest, and her head covered in a forest of brown and blonde hair. Had it not been for her body gradually rising and falling with each breath, Steve wouldn’t have been able to believe something this monolithic could be alive, much less human.

“Holy shit,” Steve uttered under his breath as he took it all in. “There she is, in all her glory. She’s still fast asleep as of now, so I think the best plan of action is to get—”

Steve’s train of thought was cut off by a blaring high-pitched alarm piercing the air. The rhythmic siren caused the sleeping giantess to stir awake, and Steve was thrown around as the mattress beneath his feet shifted under the millions of tons of Julia’s weight. The earth seemed to fold upon itself as the titanic woman sat up in bed and muted her phone alarm. She threw her bedsheet off herself, burying Steve beneath an avalanche of fabric, and swung her legs off the bed. Even with the thick blankets surrounding him, Steve felt the ground shake through the bed as her feet slammed into the ground and she thundered off into the bathroom.

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Carl Flynn

Time: 8:30 a.m.

Location: Julia’s Toothbrush

“This is incredible,” said Carl with awe as he panned his camera around Julia’s toothbrush. White bristles the size of trees rose up into the sky, and the wet muggy air smelled of stale saliva and toothpaste. He navigated his way through the dense forest before finally finding his prize, a boulder-sized chunk of meat wedged tightly between two bristles.

Pulling out a pocket knife, Carl cut off a sliver and tried a bite. It tasted like absolutely nothing and the texture was slightly mushy. He couldn’t even tell what type of meat it was supposed to be, but that didn’t matter. It was still a source of protein, and a supply of food this early in the game could certainly give him an edge over the other contestants. He swallowed his mouthful, and began to cut more chunks off, stuffing them into his backpack and pockets.

Carl was almost finished with his harvest when the bathroom light flicked on, temporarily blinding him. He rubbed his eyes as booming footsteps reverberated through the air, and looked out beyond his bristly jungle to see Julia Parker’s exposed midriff beyond the counter. “Oh shit,” he said, dropping his camera. Before he could say another word, she grabbed the toothbrush with her massive fist and lifted it up into the sky.

Still half-asleep, the 39-year-old woman grabbed a tube of toothpaste and generously slathered it across the brush. She ran it under the faucet for a few seconds, then lifted it up to her face, ready to clean.

Soaking wet and coated in thick, minty paste, Carl shivered both from fear and cold as his world was lifted up to Julia’s enormous lips. Her mouth opened as she unleashed a mighty yawn, washing a wave of stale morning breath over the speck-sized person caught in her toothbrush and giving him a glimpse of the dark abyss he was about to enter.

Julia plunged the toothbrush deep into her cavernous mouth at unimaginable speeds, rocketing Carl towards her back molars. He held onto a bristle for dear life and braced for impact as he made contact with the building-sized teeth to begin the cleaning. The toothbrush was viciously scrubbed back and forth against her mighty molars, quickly turning the slather of toothpaste into a froth that enveloped him.

Carl kept his eyes shut tight as the toothbrush was aggressively rubbed against each and every one of Julia’s teeth. The suburban mother was determined to do the most thorough cleaning possible, completely unaware of the torment she was putting the tiny survivalist through. Julia’s mouth quickly filled up with a minty foaming sea of saliva and toothpaste that enveloped Carl as she ran the toothbrush against her front teeth and gums, with some of it eventually breaching his mouth and nose. After making her way across all of her teeth, the giantess finally pulled the toothbrush out of her mouth to bend down and spit, granting Carl a moment of serenity.

But that serenity was short-lived as Julia rose back up to her full height and plunged the toothbrush back into her mouth. Finished with her teeth, Julia set the brush onto the last thing there was to clean, her tongue. 

The enormous pink muscle twitched and shifted against the toothbrush as the two were scrubbed together, the bristles tickling Julia’s sensitive taste buds. Carl felt his grip on the bristle slipping as the toothbrush continued to go back and forth, his arms weak after holding on through so much torment. As the brush retreated from the depths of Julia’s mouth, Carl lost his grip and was forced to let go, landing on Julia’s soft moist tongue as her mouth sealed shut, enveloping him in darkness.

Carl experienced another moment of peace as he stood in a pool of saliva inside Julia’s cavernous mouth, not sure what to do. He didn’t have long to think however, as her mouth reopened, revealing his final doom, her hand wrapped around a glass of water about to be poured inside.

The shrunken man didn’t even try to run away, he knew it would have been hopeless. Millions of gallons of water came flooding in, sweeping him off his feet. The walls of the cavern contorted and flexed as Julia swished the torrent of water around her mouth, repeatedly slamming Carl’s minuscule body against her boulder-like teeth. It all eventually proved to be too much for him, and his body went limp as it continued to be battered around the woman’s mouth.

Julia threw her head back, giving the water one final gargle before spitting it out into the sink. She checked her smile in the mirror to make sure there weren’t any bits of food that managed to stay trapped in there. Satisfied, Julia rinsed her toothbrush, washing the tiny speck that was Carl down the drain with her spit, and headed out to the kitchen.

7 Players Remain.

Reida Peterson

Time: 9:17 a.m.

Location: Coffee Table

“So I’ve spent the past hour scouting out the coffee table, trying to get an idea of what this environment has to offer,” Reida said to her camera as she journeyed across the gargantuan flatland of furniture. “There are two small bowls set out, one’s full of raisins, the other has M&M’s. Those could provide me with food, but I have no idea how long they’ll be around before Julia comes along and devours them.”

The shrunken explorer continued walking, passing an oversized crumb of what seemed to be some kind of biscuit or cookie.

“I’m also noticing there’s a ton of crumbs lying around up here, which could be another good source of food, “ Reida continued. “So Julia eats here a lot, which means this area must get a lot of activity from her. I don’t wanna be here if she sweeps the crumbs off the table with a massive hand, or slams a magazine down, or just spots me running across the table and squashes me with her fingertip.”

Reida reached the edge of the coffee table. She carefully looked over the edge at the vertical drop down into a thick carpet laying beneath the structure.

“But even if I wanted to get down from here, I don’t really have a safe way of doing that,” Reida sighed. “I guess I just have to stay here for now and see what happens.”

As if on some sort of cue, the bedroom door creaked open, and Julia stepped out wearing a tight pair of yoga pants and a loose shirt. Her bare feet slammed down onto the wooden floor as she entered the living room, sending tremors all the way to Reida on the coffee table.

“Holy shit,” the tiny girl said, getting her first look at the giantess she’d be living with. “She’s fucking massive.”

Julia strode across the living room as she made her way to the kitchen, passing by the coffee table. Each swing of her powerful legs carried her thousands of feet, and Reida could only look on in awe from the table as the suburban woman thundered past like a beast from a monster movie. Ripples were sent through Julia’s shapely thighs every time her feet made contact with the ground as she crossed the vast living room in mere seconds. Reida was left looking at her plump butt and the pinkish, dirty soles of her feet as Julia turned the corner into the kitchen, unable to comprehend what she’d just seen.

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Miranda Thompson

Time: 9:22 a.m.

Location: Kitchen Floor

Miranda had been running across the kitchen floor for over an hour now. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled her nose as she panted and gasped for air, signaling that her time was almost up and her doom would be upon her any minute. Miranda began to feel rhythmic tremors pounding through the ground. It was too late.

An enormous bare foot stepped into the kitchen entryway and forced Miranda to her knees as it slammed onto the kitchen tile. The titanic form of Julia Parker emerged from around the corner, unleashing a monstrous yawn to announce her arrival. Taking in a deep whiff of the air, the sleepy giantess trudged across the kitchen to claim what was rightfully hers.

Miranda screamed and ran for her life as the mountain-sized mother lumbered towards the coffee maker. Each swing of her powerful legs carried her thousands of feet, her footfalls growing more and more powerful until they rendered Miranda immobile.

Laying on her back, Miranda looked to the sky to witness the goddess of a woman almost on top of her. The shrunken house cleaner could barely comprehend the monolithic creature standing several times taller than any structure known to man, let alone the fact that in reality, it was actually a woman she might do work for. It truly was humbling.

Julia’s massive foot lifted skyward as she prepared to take another step, casting Miranda in a dark shadow as it descended. Her smooth heel came down with the force of a meteor, sending Miranda flying, but unfortunately not far enough to be free from the impact zone. The tiny woman didn’t even have the energy to scream as the rest of Julia’s sole began to fall. She just closed her eyes and prayed for a quick death beneath this woman’s foot as it came down upon her.

The sound of a booming crash thundered into Miranda’s ears until it ruptured her eardrums and she couldn’t hear anything but a sharp ringing noise. Clutching her head in pain, the now-deaf girl opened her eyes to discover that she was still alive somehow.

Miraculously, Miranda had been spared beneath the shapely arch of Julia’s foot. The wrinkled skin stretched endlessly above her like a fleshy cavern ceiling, and Miranda could feel the warmth emanating from above as her body laid against the cool tile floor. She observed specks of dirt and lint adhered to the endless sole, several times bigger than her insignificant size. Too stunned to move, Miranda just laid there as Julia took her next step, her warm skin peeling off the ground as she reached the coffee machine and poured herself a cup.

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Name: John Watson

Time: 9:25 a.m.

Location: Top of Refrigerator

“Well, this sucks,” John said to the camera as he panned it across an abandoned wasteland.

The top of the refrigerator was completely barren. Due to a lack of cleaning, the entire surface was coated in a thick layer of dust that reached all the up to the stuntman’s waist. He’d tried to pull himself out of it, but the dust couldn’t support his weight, and he kept falling through it like it was powder snow. Finally giving up, John pulled his shirt up over his nose as he slowly waded through the thick gray field of nothingness. 

“Trying to survive up here would be hopeless,” John continued. “There aren’t any possible sources of food or water, and this place clearly hasn’t been touched in months. Being in a kitchen should be a damn goldmine, but they somehow stuck me in the worst place possible.” 

As the survivalist made his way to the edge of the fridge, Julia entered the kitchen. While her footfalls weren’t nearly as devastating for John as they were for his fellow contestant down on the ground, they still stirred up a bit of dust, causing him to hack and cough.

“I gotta get out of here,” he sputtered. “I don’t even care if I win the game right now, but I’m not losing to goddamn dust.”

John approached the end of the fridge as Julia poured her coffee. While he was taking in the expansive view of the kitchen she thundered over and opened the fridge door to get a carton of almond milk, unknowingly knocking the tiny man standing above her into the bed of dust.

Coughing and sputtering, John crawled to the edge and looked down at the top of Julia’s enormous head. Her golden-brown hair gently glowed in the sunlight as it stretched out below him like an endless field of wheat. John pondered whether or not he should make a jump for it. Although the fall was easily several hundred feet, the landing looked soft and inviting. Besides, it wasn’t like he had any other options to get out of this gray wasteland.

Before he could make up his mind, Julia slammed the door shut, the force knocking John off the edge. He screamed as he fell face-first towards the thick field of Julia’s hair. As he rapidly grew closer, the individual golden strands that made up the jungle of hair became more and more distinct. He curled himself into a loose ball and braced for impact.

While Julia’s hair may have been soft and well cared for, it didn’t give in at all to John’s negligible weight. The thick strands lashed violently at him as he roughly crashed through the blonde canopy of hair, until he finally broke through and roughly landed on the forest floor that was Julia’s scalp.

Battered and bruised, John slowly opened his eyes and took in his new surroundings. Tree-like hairs as thick as his arm sprouted up for acres all around him, giving him just enough space to walk between them. He took in a deep breath of shampoo-scented air as he looked up to the sky, observing how the stalks of hair gradually changed color from Julia’s natural brown roots to a lighter shade of blonde. Enough light filtered through the treetops that he could see, but the foliage was too thick to make out anything beyond the jungle. He noted the dead skin flakes and small pools of sweat that littered the ground, serving as a potential source of sustenance if he ever grew that desperate.

Suddenly, John’s entire world shifted as Julia subtly bent her head down and poured some almond milk into her coffee. The blonde trees surrounding him swayed heavily, reminding him that this exotic environment really was the top of a woman’s head.

John wrapped his arms around one of the stalks of Julia’s hair to steady himself as she headed back to the living room with her coffee mug in hand, unaware of her microscopic passenger. “Now this,” he said with a grin as he tightened his grip, “Is more like it.”

7 Players Remain.