Reviewer: Frizzle Signed [Report This]
Date: January 01 2018 12:59 AM Title: Chapter 2:tbreakfast

Gonna be honest, I didn't read far. 

#1 - It's as if you are purposefully writing as short of a chapter as possible.. I've rarely seen chapters this short. Take. Your. Time.

#2 - <i>god she must be at least 50 feet tall</i> <---- I noticed this as I was reading, and it was quite silly.... it's almost as if you didn't... wait for it... 'proof' read your chapter. I made this mistake during the entire course of my very first story, in which I never proof read my chapters. My story still turned out great, thank god.... but it could have been better if I took my time to proof read before posting. Always. Proof. Read.

#3 - Don't be discouraged. It's very easy to be discouraged when getting critical reviews, trust me I know. Every review, even the most minute critique, and drastically alter your decisions when writing, or even destroy your will to write at all. Don't let that happen. Take your idea, mold it, shape it, and let it evolve until it's perfect. We all have great imaginations, you just need to learn your own personal technique in which to express it on paper (metaphorically speaking of course)

Do you have gmail? I suggest creating a google mail account and using their google drive. It's almost iconically similar to microsoft word, only it's free. You get 15gb of storage (for writing that's basically infinite storage) and it comes with spell check, and grammar check (very useful). It could be a powerful tool to help you solve the spelling issues you are having. 

Another great tool is dictionary.com and thesaurus.com! I always have those two sites up whenever I'm writing, that way I can learn new vocabulary and look up new words that I need to properly use or describe something in my story. This could drastically improve your writing.

 

I hope you don't discontinue this story, it has an interesting premise! Hope you continue it :D