[Report This]Date: September 30 2020 5:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Crater
Another rather lovely story of yours! I quite enjoyed it. You do an excellent job of empowerment stuff, possibly better than anyone I've seen here.
In regard to your remarks as to where you notice you could improve you pretty much nailed my only critical stuff. You do at times tend to tell rather than show a good bit, and at times sometimes how you word things can come off as stiff but it doesn't detract from the overall prose too much. Speaking as someone who generally writes more RP than Prose these days I always get the feeling your ideas work for both.
All in all, very enjoyable stuff as always.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! You're an amazing writer, so if you're enjoying my stories then I must be doing at least something right. Empowerment is one of my favorite themes, so your comments on that mean a lot.
And thanks for the constructive feedback. Right now my plan to improve is just by reading and writing more. I find that helps me notice flaws even if it still takes me a bit to correct them (assuming I do correct them. In all honesty I probably could've edited this piece a bit more before release, but that's probably true of all my works.)
It's interesting what skills transfer over from RP to story writing well and what doesn't. Some ideas work in one medium, but not the other. I'm happy this one seems to have worked well. Part of why I wrote this was to explore some more 'out-there' interests in a story setting.
Anyways thanks again for reading!
Date: September 30 2020 7:41 AM Title: Chapter 1: Crater
I feel like this has some similarities to nanomachines yet oddly unique, pretty impressive stuff I must say, wouldnt be far to say you're one of the best writers in the gts community
Author's Response:
Thanks so much for the comment! That's very high praise; I'm flattered! I do notice a lot of areas I can improve my writing though. In particular, I need to work on my prose some more, and this work in particular has a lot of telling-instead-of-showing and stuff like that.
That said, I really do appreciate it. Even one comment that someone enjoyed a story brightens my day and makes having written the story feel even more worth it.
There are some similarities to Nanomachines, true. It can go with the themes of undeserved-power/ascension that I do enjoy quite a bit (I've done many an RP along those themes, for instance). I was hoping the more fleshy aspects and couples content would help set it apart, among some other facets.
Date: September 30 2020 1:10 AM Title: Chapter 1: Crater
Oh my, this story is amazing b25;
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! I'm happy you've enjoyed the story!