Date: January 31 2013 6:07 PM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
I feel this will be a good story, although I think things are moving too quickly and you need to work on your formatting. You should split up the dialouge so that there is a new line when different character speaks.
Date: May 27 2008 2:11 PM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
If people want me too, I'll make this a open series with the only rule being that no main charactors die.
Date: May 25 2008 2:12 AM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
As I said, who really cares about ratings? No one even cares about product copyright either
[Report This]Date: May 25 2008 12:23 AM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
I wasn't complaining. I am liking the story. I just didn't want to see it pulled due to rules of the site. Below is the reason why. Just trying to help.
Rule 6: All stories must be rated correctly and have the appropriate warnings. All adult rated stories are expected to have warnings. After all, they wouldn't have that rating if there wasn't something to be warned about! The site administrators recognize that there is an audience for these stories, but please respect those who do not wish to read them by labeling them appropriately.
Author's Response: Yeah about that... I kinda got carried away I'll change that but really, I put warnings up. Besides a chapter title (if anyone actually reads them) like "Body Adventure" kinda suggests that.
Date: May 24 2008 8:24 PM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
Who really cares about ratings?
I'm confused about the hole as well, but I'm awaiting another chapter... and explanations for things that don't add up... :)
Author's Response: What doesn't add up? Just the hole thing? Also to clarify that Natalie says that she put a solution on them. I could've explained that a bit more. Sorry.
Date: May 24 2008 9:13 AM Title: Kyle meets Natalie
Just two things. I guess this chapter went from R rated to X at the end. Not complaining but you might want to change that...maybe.
Also, I don't understand about the hole opening up in her breast. Can she transform her body?
Author's Response:
"Well, either the're growing because of this solution I put on them" I understand the confusion there. I should have explained that more.