Reviewer: Jsmith20 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 11 2022 5:51 AM Title: “Safe” space

WOW! I didn't think this story would get an update.

I wanna say that I empathize so much about wanting to write more but not being able to regularly, 

It's also rough to have a high read count and then not that many reviews in comparison. (It's especially interesting when people favorite your story but then don't leave a review, I've done it on a couple with the intention of writing a longer review once I had the time, but there's always a time crunch isn't there).

So, firstly I'd like to say that I really enjoy this story. 

I think the interaction in chapter 5 between Chris and Claire was intriguing, I was very surprised that Chris would even care if Richard had a rough home life. In really hard situations we tend to lose empathy which Chris is definitely going through. I think Claire was absolutely right and who cares if Richard has a rough home life, that's no excuse for being such a jerk. (Personally, I hope he gets iced out as a character since he's a guy and well this is a giantess website. That said, I do appreciate the touch of realism of Chris not only interacting with girls. I think maybe Jas asserting her dominance over Rich would be really nice, I see this happening through her wanting to have her fun with Chris and Rich interrupting her and Jas just absolutely destroying Rich because she wants Chris to be her toy alone).

Now onto the review. Chapter 6 Bully, is a great piece of butt content. 

This is in part smut writing so it's alright to be indulgent in the descriptions of the sexy stuff. You have a lot to work with in these situations so don't be afraid to expand the descriptions of what's happening. You can really slow down the action in those moments. Jas had a whole 2 mile run, you can go into the pressure of her cheeks crushing him repeatedly as she runs, the rising sweat as she runs. The feeling of her hole squeezing his face as she runs. Stuff like that. 

Kat is an intriguing character, the envious and jealous little sister seeing her older brother in a whole new light. Would love to see her interactions with him continued, maybe even some partnering up with Jas. Tag-team-torture would be fun to read. Alyssa is also a fun concept to see, the uncertainty with what to do and still liking him is something that has potential.

The constructive, and emphasis on constructive, criticism I have is one, you already acknowledged switching around the perspective, you can have multiple perspectives, just keep it consistent per section. For example, you can split it up with a 

*

and have that indicate a new perspective. And two, your dialogue could be a bit more natural. It's not dreadful, but it could flow a bit better. Don't be too hard on yourself because this story is interesting and despite its roughness I'm still invested. That said, it would be good to focus on improving the overall presentation. I don't want that to discourage you from continuing because at its roots this is a good story.