Reviews For The Newlyweds
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Reviewer: Stylesrj Signed [Report This]
Date: February 26 2008 7:59 PM Title: How It Started

Sorry, I should have put "realism" in quotation marks or perhaps added lack of realism... whatever, you probably get what I mean right?

Anyway, when a story is written, it can either be a good story or a sex story. If it can't be written well, then you better damn well better make the sex good. It's not "sex" when they do it every paragraph.

Writing stories isn't all about "Let's put sex words in every paragraph" or "Let's have the army lose to piss off people like Stylesrj" or something like that. You got to know what you're writing about and take in the good points with the bad.

I'm trying to see if I can be nice. But at the same time, a critical person who will point out some problems and tell you how you can fix them. Of course, in a story like this, there are so many problems that need fixing, and not by hammering a plyboard over it 

Reviewer: angeloflife Signed starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: February 26 2008 4:48 PM Title: Out of This World

It was not a bad story but i read a lot better stories.

And for me any way it stopes bening fun to read after a mile or two. And when they become so big to eat a star or a planet. Well thats a bit to much for me and starts to lets see how big i can make them. Is the best way i can think of to say that.

But over all it was a nice small story to read and i like when there is a giant man and women so many stories out there that just have giant women it gets boring too, to see and read. Any way just think of a better story line to your stories and you will be ok.  


Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 26 2008 3:58 PM Title: How It Started

Realism...? XD. That made me laugh. I didn't know people could breathe in space. There is a limit to suspension of disbelief. Anyway, I'll be blunt. It was generic and...that's it. I could go on but then I'll seem like an asshole.

Reviewer: Stylesrj Signed [Report This]
Date: February 26 2008 2:23 PM Title: Out of This World

I would like to say that the story was a piece of....

Actually, it wasn't too bad. The universe gets doomed and all, but perhaps some more detail is needed. You've got too little detail and too many uses of the sex words per paragraph. Either reduce the use of such words or increase the detail to match it.

I could ignore the realism, but you need to work on the sex scenes to make it "believable" or otherwise work on the realism. Change the premise on how they get to that size.

If a witchdoctor gave it to them, why hasn't he grown and destroyed the Earth first? 

Note: I'm trying not to sound too negative, and I can give out advice. I can help, you just have to ask and I can answer...

Note: Note: Maybe there could be something later on at the end where the couple meets a group of giants who took the same thing and they form a group, or the couple later on gets sick of each other and split up. Possibilities are endless here. 

Note: Note: Note: One thing we haven't got often here are space stories. The person escapes the Earth and destroys it and goes and dooms the universe... you don't see that often. I've probably only seen 2 other stories with it

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