Reviewer: -Al- Signed [Report This]
Date: June 21 2015 4:44 PM Title: Part one/ (1) Set up/the Tram massacre

Firstly, I really did enjoy the read. I'd like to see you continue the work!

One caveat I do have is not about the story, it's about the way it's presented. Reading a whole block of text is disorienting and can lead to line skips.

Paragraph more, after a few sentences or the end of a scene carriage return that sucker! It'll help the read. =)

Other than that I really did enjoy, keep it up!