I really like the concept of the story and the locale. It was a good erotic story, but I can't help thinking it could have been even better with the following: 1) more descriptive on the vore side, 2) some back story on the guy being eaten would have helped; we don't get much reaction from him; how did Okira and he know each other, and 3) perhaps Okira could have been surprise shrunken down and eaten just after Rin had swallowed the guy.