Reviewer: mikey31 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 07 2015 2:08 PM Title: My True Desire

This is the best opening I've ever read to a story, and I've read at least a hundred on this site.  Please continue and have some cleavage or breasts in the story, as it fits with your own personal story direction.

Here are some things I found great:

I love her name... perfect.  I liked your line: "To put it plainly, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen."

Ka'ano'i has a sexy personality from just a couple pages+, and I love how she is an exotic, powerful being.

It's also awesome how she grants specifically one *sexual* wish.  And Edward should be commended for his quick thinking, and asking to be her shrunken pet.

And Ka'ano'i gave Edward fair warning, before granting his wish, that their new relationship would not be one of equals. :)

Also, noted how you ended with saying it was a flash of *warm* light... it's a sort of loving, protective form of domination with a kinky, sexual twist.  Gotta love it.

Please continue this one.  Thank you.

Reviewer: Cameron99 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 30 2014 11:43 PM Title: My True Desire

Liked the setup, should be interesting to see where you take it