[Report This]Date: September 09 2014 8:12 AM Title: 00:00/The Artist
Given the idea of the city, she is either an attempt to cleanse things effectively or the universe has a sense of humor.
25 chapters is quite hefty even if they don't take too long. And I'm looking forward to the categories getting explored. Good attitude for her to have, hope to see more soon.
Date: March 05 2014 7:34 PM Title: 01:00/The Dancer
Not bad. Most peoples first stories don't even have paragraphs so that puts you a tier above the usual first time author.
You also have a good grasp of the giantess fantasy itself. I can see you worked hard on this.
Also...
"I’m going to be a doctor! I’m a med student… or, rather, I was before the quarantine anyway.”
“Ugh, I was really hoping you were a professional stripper.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because it would have made this less difficult.”
This little bit of witty dialogue here was pretty cool.
Good day sir and good luck in your future writing endevors
Date: March 03 2014 5:41 PM Title: 01:00/The Dancer
Cassidy Kelly, a name with a lovely destructive face.
[Report This]Date: March 02 2014 8:40 PM Title: 00:00/The Artist
All hail our new redheaded titaness.
Date: March 02 2014 4:46 PM Title: 00:00/The Artist
The story is rather confusing or maybe it's just me? What I means is, I hope there's going to be an explaination because at the moment it seems like there's a giantess just for the sake of having a giantess. There doesn't seem to be any pretext.
Despite that, you've specfically stated that you have an idea of how you wll end the story which is good. It'll be interesting to see where you take this story. However I didn't really feel the dystopia snce the chapter was lacking some finer details as there are only brief descriptions of the enviroment.
Also, this part confused me:
was coming after… the roof. Jason put it together, as hard as it was to believe he was on a roof and that roof was on the head of a woman, a giant woman.
I had to re-read it a couple of times to understand what was going on. I think it's that 'coming after' bit that got me. What I understood is the giantess came from inside h building and her hand chased him. It's just you suddenly switch to 'the roof' which made me think it was going after the roof for some reason. I fear I haven't explained myself well enough so maybe somebody else wll pick up on my point.
Author's Response:
A: I'm going to explain why she's a giantess.
B: I'll try to exaggerate the dystopian environment more in following chapters.
C: When she grew, from inside of the building, her head smashed through the floors as she grew upwards. The roof and some other random pieces of debris were left on her head. He realized that she didn't know that he was there but was just trying to clear the debris from her head.
D: Thank you for taking the time out to review, it is appreciated.