Date: May 10 2015 3:50 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
Some of the worst spelling I read here. Characters are really unbelievable (even for this setting...) and to be honest it was a pain to read that thankfully abandoned story... ;)
Yeah, I'm wasn't very good at spelling to begin with, so that mixed with it being my first stroy...well you read the damage for yourself. I may come back to it and give it a second chance, but that won't be for at least a year maybe two.
Date: March 05 2014 7:46 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
Just started reading and already I am impressed by the format of this story.
Spelling could use a bit of a touch-up but other than that good job.
I may have to return and finish the rest of this story when I have time.
Thanks and take your time. No need to rush now is there?
Date: March 04 2014 9:45 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
I really enjoy stories like this (:. You are doing a great job so far and I wanted you to know that I am enjoying it.
Hope you keep writing (:
Thank you Chloe. I'm working very hard and it's reviews like yours that keep me goin. Ch 4 is just about done and should be posted in the next day or two.
Date: March 02 2014 10:41 PM Title: Chapter 3 Pleasing The Mistress
I think this story will continue to turn out amazing, but I urge you to slow down and really write in detail, this story can be really really good or it can be phenomenal. Take your time, Shrunken Mazerunner, you're doing great.
Thank you and I promiss I'll slow down all my chapters from now on will be atleast 1000 words and I'll add as much detail as I can. I promise and I NEVER go back on a promise.
Date: March 01 2014 9:46 AM Title: Chapter 3 Pleasing The Mistress
Oh man I really love this story!! I can not wait to see how it turns out. Keep up the good work
Thanks I've been writing books (nongts) for awhile, and don't worry the next chapter is almost done.
Date: February 28 2014 4:07 AM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
O dear, rather disappointing, Mazerunner. Sister Ann has a good, refreshing age (13) but producing milk...and a virgin? No-no. As one other reviewer has mentioned...she's using too much adult words, and I suspect that you will describe her boobs far too extravagantly instead of like: sweet buds of May with tiny pink nipples. I'm sorry to be so critical (although your spelling has improved) and I do hope that, as you grow older, you will pen more stories and be more explicit and imaginative. Remember this: Females have blonde hair, males are blond. Do you see the difference?
I will explain Ann in the next chapter, which should be out by the end of next week at the lastest. As for her milk her family gas genes that allow premature milk production. Don't worry, like I said, in ch4 her acting older than most kids her age will be explained just be patient.
Date: February 27 2014 4:10 AM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
Phew, I have just read the two parts and so far, so good...apart from the atrocious spelling errors. Compared with Amanda's, she is a lexical professor. Never mind, it's the story that counts. What pleases me is that Susie is young, which implies that no sexual activity will be mentioned because of your strict U.S. laws. I shall look forward to the 3rd part,
Third part is up, and who ever said these people followed the laws? Hint hint wink wink nudge nudge
Date: February 26 2014 6:20 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
I really like this story! It has a lot of action and the way that you articulate the main character's thoughts makes the story seem very real, like when he could smell hampsters haha. I can tell that you are a very visual writer.
I could be wrong, but I feel like the 13 year old sister acts a bit old for her age. She doesnt seem at all shy about her sexuality and uses dirty language as if she was experienced. Maybe 16 would be a more appropriate age?... With that being said, I do think that she is a fun character and the way that you portray her is very over the top and exciting. Cant wait to meet the rest of the family!! Keep writing!!
Thanks for the review, i,m still new so and advice/ critics you can offer will be a great help. Her acting experienced was what I was aiming for, have see kids now a days. Oh and berfore you meet the family you have to meet her freinds right? ;) hint hint wink wink nudge nudge
Date: February 26 2014 12:47 PM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
Great story so far! The chapters are a little short but they are long enough I guess lol. I would like the see the older sister and the mother come into the mix at some point! Also can't wait for some butt action. Keep it up and update regularly!
Oh don't worry they will, it may take awhile but they will mark my words. And the Butt crush stuff will happen in either the 5th or 6th chapter. So hold on i'm almost there.
Date: February 26 2014 4:14 AM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
I am about to read this two-part ltlle yarn because I am attracted to the size of the "brother" which I have always recommended larger-sized victims (as well as full-sized) so I shall post my comment when read. I'd like to commend you for not taking umbrage at the spelling comment made by the previous critic, just as I used to with Amanda Jones...an erstwhile writer of excellent stories.
Until then, please forge ahead with the 3rd part of your yarn.
Thank you and don't worry the 3rd part will be out soon
Date: February 25 2014 10:29 AM Title: Chapter 1 The Big Shrink
Hi, congrats on starting your first story. It's a solid start and I'll certainly be keeping my eyes open to see how it goes.
I enjoyed the level of detail and action that you included, enough to make it feel like a scene (as opposed to just a dialogue script) but not so much to get bogged down.
The only big suggestion I'd give at this point is to run your story through a spell checker before you publish, as there are a few easy to catch typos.
Ok thank you and I promise I'll do the best I can to add chapters quickly