[Report This]Date: May 24 2014 4:33 PM Title: Clear
Awesome. Can't wait to see Ashley and Marion meet. I kind of hope that Claire hasn't been able to break her...and that she's still defiant.
Ahh, Jenna. Always sceptical of Beta abusers. It must be so annoying for her...having to babysit Naomi and unable to punish her in any way because she's been cleared.
10 stars for this one! But try anything like that last chapter again, and I won't hesitate in giving you a harsher rating. :P
Date: May 21 2014 3:55 PM Title: Clear
@Kusanagi: WUT?! I liked Jenna since day ONE! :p
Author's Response:
Jenna Crew Represent~
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 3:42 PM Title: Clear
Well, I found this chapter immensely enjoyable and much more light-hearted than the previous chapter. I want to see Claire and Corey again. And Stephanie; I think she's the most interesting of the three girls, so I really want to see how her story arc progressed after this last month
Author's Response:
Well, just keep in mind the running chapter title of this arc :)
Glad you enjoyed the chapter, though. Thanks for comenting.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 3:29 PM Title: Clear
I feel I’m the one lone fan of Jenna at this point lol. Maybe I just can’t work up righteous indignation of her working over serial killers and rapists, or maybe it’s because her actions on screen are usually tame and all of her more violent actions are implied.
I mean this chapter her actions were
1: Pointing out that Naomi’s actions weren’t that much different than the boys from ch. 16.
2: Be concerned about someone who committed assault/attempted murder be allowed near children after only a month.
How are either of these positions wrong or at all controversial?
I feel without Jenna it would be too easy to forget that yes Naomi helped beat Corey nearly to death and left him to die.
Author's Response:
That's pretty much been my running thought re: how things would be without Jenna. Naomi's sweet and remorseful enough that people kind of want to overlook what she did (even I'm guilty of this). Even Claire has been lulled in by that, and she truthfully has even more justification for being mean as shit compared to Jenna. Naomi needs someone that will hold her to what she did and disallow her from becoming complacent - someone who will challenge her to be a better person.
Date: May 21 2014 3:19 PM Title: Clear
Seriously, you better be prepared. I've got notes.
Also, now that I've realized after that last conversation just how sharp you are at narrative analysis (and how unfortunately good your memory is), I'm now combing back through my draft of Time-out 6 with terror in my heart that something doesn't line up and you'll catch it. So, you know, THANKS, you son of a bitch.
But really, thanks. And be ready!
Author's Response:
BRING IT *beats chest*
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 9:17 AM Title: Clear
So Jenna is acting like a brat. By her standers that's a huge plus for her character.
I'm surprised Naomi will be allowed near beta children given the crime she's labeled with. Not that I think she will do anything bad, but I doubt the parents would knowingly want a felon watching their kids. I imagine there will be an Omega with her the whole time. (If that happens to be Jenna, I wouldn't put it past her letting slip Naomi's crime just because she doesn't think she's worthy having the kids like her too much.)
I'm interested to see what happens when the parents meet the girls.
Author's Response:
Oh, sketch, you're like a Jenna to my Jenna :D
Possibly, but it's kind of well-known that the Omegas use stuff like this for community service because there are a lot of betas and not quite enough Aegis hands. While I'll say that there won't be an Omega with her the whole time just because of the trouble of fitting one inside a museum, she'll definitely be under the overall supervision of one while an Aegis operative keeps a close eye on her. And I dunno, I don't think Jenna would do that. I think she'd want the kids to have fun and feel safe over anything else.
As for the parents...eheheheheh. I'll just say that a particular something made the rounds.
Date: May 21 2014 8:54 AM Title: Clear
@Xkcd0088
This sentence: On the other hand these people are super duper bad and unforgivable because they killed ppl so we should kill them too
I won’t quote the rest of it. However, I’m not sure how you can compare something like murder to racism. The way you phrased it, the sarcasm you used (e.g., super duper bad), it seemed as if you were downplaying the abomination of homicide. You probably meant to focus on the flaws in the rehabilitation methods, but it didn’t come across that way.
Furthermore, did you even READ chapter 16? I don’t recall you commenting on it.
Sure Jenna has psychological problems and probably shouldn’t be in her position of authority. But how can you possibly read chapter 16 and write: “grrrr righteous anger sword of truth”. Your sarcasm projects indifference. I’m curious how the account given in chapter 16 made you feel when you read it. Not the slightest bit angry? I’d find that hard to believe.
Does that story mean we should condone Jenna or the system that put her in power? No. But it should certainly allow us to empathize a LITTLE, perhaps understanding that SOME of Jenna’s feelings are justified. It should at least allow us to treat manslaughter with the gravity and sadness it deserves, not sarcasm and insensitivity.
Date: May 21 2014 7:08 AM Title: Clear
This is a great story so far, and I'm loving the connections growing between Claire and Naomi! What happened to Marion and Claire though? A few chapters back she was swallowed, right? I'm really excited about what's happened to her! Also... I was just a bit confused also as to how the omegas can even read Corey or any other Beta's facial expressions etc considering that to them, they must be the size of ants... I'm just a little confused on that note! Well, enough said:-
I'm loving this story so far!!! :)
Author's Response:
Yes, Claire threw her up off-screen.
As for how the Omegas do their thing...well, they're basically just "built" to from the ground up, so to speak.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Date: May 21 2014 6:15 AM Title: Clear
Hrrrmmm? Lots of good news but that could easily be followed with tons of bad news sooo..?
I like the Jenna and Naomi pairing. I'm doubtful that they'll ever become best friends but Jenna's harsh nature seems to ground Naomi who seems excitable.
I hope Naomi can handle the chaperone job beta children cuteness is the leading cause of diabetes.
As well as Naomi is doing I can't help but worry for Stephanie who has way deeper issues that can't be solved with stern words and reading. Her sessions might not even prove very effective if they result in another mental breakdown.
Is Marion dead? I hope not I have to believe she has a tiny grain of humanity in her like less than a fleas worth but it's there. Of course she is a serial killer so I doubt she has a very bright future.
Author's Response:
Bad news? Probably, but from a different source than usual.
I like Jenna and Naomi too. Jenna provides a balance to Naomi's "innocent" countenance, a constant reminder that no, she isn't innocent. Not by any definition of the word. She truly regrets what she did, but she still did it and enjoyed doing it while it was happening. Claire is going immensely easy on her because she said the right things - and while she did mean them, they're still just words. So Jenna also provides someone she has to win over with actual actions.
Hopefully Naomi can take them in in moderation >.>
Stephanie....well, don't want to say too much.
Marion...well, ditto.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 5:57 AM Title: Clear
I hope good things for Naomi when this is all said and done.
Author's Response:
I do too :3
Date: May 21 2014 5:37 AM Title: Clear
"Sophie's story, in particular," she continued softly, "is the one I remember the most. A lot of the stories there...they upset me, obviously, through all that abuse. That despair. But Sophie's sets a bar for cruelty that none of the others ever really match." Jenna's eyes narrowed once again, her nose crinkled. "And it didn't just upset me, Naomi, it made me angry. Angry at the sheer callousness of those boys, angry at the pain they caused, at the joy they took in taking the life of an old man. Of a girl who was barely a teenager. Of a father. Angry at the sheer fucking pointlessness of it all."
I think this one passage right here pretty much sums Jenna’s feelings on the treatment of beta’s and why she is so passionate about it and why she has a more conservative mindset compared to Claire and Melody. I don’t know if you intended it to be seen that way but that is what I get from it.
Also I noticed that Jenna said “moms”. Is her mother a lesbian? Was Jenna the product of artificial insemination?
Author's Response:
You pretty much got what I was hoping to put across there, so kudos.
As for the rest: Yes, and who knows :3
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 4:44 AM Title: Clear
Strangely, I actually find myself liking Jenna now, something I never thought would happen. I resonated with her anger over reading Sophie’s story.
Jenna’s empathy, her kindness (it does exist), is tempered by Beta stories like that. She’s seen the ugly truth behind the masks people wear and refuses to grant amnesty without adequate punishment and significant contrition on behalf of the offender.
If you'd asked me a few weeks ago, I'd have said: "Jenna, no way. No way I'd ever want to be in the same room with her, talk to her, or anything."
But now she's got my respect.
Author's Response:
That's a good read on Jenna. One thing I've kinda wanted to establish is that Jenna is a bookworm - she's studious as hell and reads a lot, and this includes a lot of reading of Beta-related works like the one featured in these two chapters. She's read far beyond the "required" materials for her schooling, and she remembers a lot of details from what she's read. And that does have a profound effect on her.
Thanks for reading and commenting. I'll get back to Splinter's Edge soon, just need the time >_>.
Date: May 21 2014 4:38 AM Title: Clear
Not sure if you saw the other note I sent you, but now I'm all caught up on this puppy and relieved of the crushing guilt that I'd only read one of your stories but you've read a decent number of mine. We're gonna have stuff to talk about next time, man. Yikes.
I liked it quite a bit, in case that isn't coming through right now.
Author's Response:
I just saw it, actually >.>
I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far, looking forward to talking about it.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2014 2:58 AM Title: Clear
Ah Abby, Naomi will want to stay away from her. Jenna was...restrained. Good. Naomi has done well to get cleared for community service so quickly, hope she does well there. No incidents.
Hope to see Corey again, he has been missing for too long. Same for Stephanie and to some extent, Marion although I am not keen on seeing her again.
I like Naomi, she has come a long way since she started her punishment.
Author's Response:
I don't think Naomi will really be in a position to stay away :). Best she be respectful should Abby come to take a look at her.
Corey won't really feature in these next several parts (not directly, anyway), but he'll be around a little bit for when I get to the party. Stephanie has good odds on appearing, and soon. Marion isn't a priority at the moment.