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Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 16 2013 8:24 PM Title: Chapter 10: R&R

Yeah I kind of rose my brow when I saw the term colored, that’s very outdated and now considered offensive. It helps to be mindful of your readers.

Anyway, it’s interesting to see what the shrunken humans have converted everyday objects and old buildings into. While it was good that Sanders got over his depression, it was better to get some insight into Aviel’s feelings, which I still don’t condone but understand.

I hope the citizens don’t try to create a militia and do something stupid now. 

 

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 16 2013 7:20 PM Title: Chapter 10: R&R

Not a bad interlude! I have a few nitpicks, though. With Aviel, the group had six women, not five. I believe the politically correct term is now African-American (with respect to Jadyn and Lizette...or is that "Levette?"). And, it's "rely" when describing someone or something dependable. "Relay" refers to transferring something semi-directly.

Author's Response:

If the only problems that is seen is a few spelling and other nitpicks, I will gladly take it. Seems I should have proofread it a bit better. As for the colored thing, I didn't mean it as offense.

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