Date: October 07 2013 5:34 AM Title: Survival Training
Nice to see this continuing! Sadly Nephila’s distain for her own kind is unwarranted even though it is a realistic development for her. Curious to see where this goes.
Hey Kazuma glad to see you have continued reading.
As for Nephila I totally agree that her hatred is somewhat unwarrented, this is because she is by design an immature character (Mentally, not physically speaking just to clarify). She has no formal education and before Michael came along rarely had any social interaction other than with Athena who sees her as more of a pet than an equal. However, Nephila will certainly develop more concrete reasons for her viewpoints as the story progresses.
Date: October 07 2013 2:59 AM Title: Survival Training
It's great to see stories like this on GTW. Smut is good and all, but this got my attention. It took me the first three or so chapters to get into it, but now I'll say I'm looking forward to the updates.
As always you got to watch for those run on sentences, and need to add more comma's. Your later chapter's seem better focused, and have less noticeable errors. Still grammatically everything is there, and so it's more pleasant then some of the stories on GTW.
The senator I can't place yet, he feels like he might be a character working for himself for his people. The Atlantian Senators remind me a lot of the Timelords Senators.
Michael it's kind of all over the place. Sure he is the solider, the one, etc. At the same time his thoughts go every which way from militaristic, to philosophical, to second guessing his own actions. Hopefully his character will flush out more as the story goes.
Nephila seems ordinary enough, but at the same time I feel like at the pace she's going she will have some sort of breakdown or realization of herself and people in the broader sense. I think she needs to understand more about her own people, not just zoo giants, before she can pin down what she really is, wants.
Athena reminds me of The Rani from Doctor Who. So I can't decide yet if she's a villain or just a Hammer's version of Doctor Frankenstein. Being that unethical behavior is acceptable in the pursuit of knowledge. Still the fact that Nephila exists how she is, shows she still must have some kind of heart for these giants. That said, science fiction can't help but borrow or create idea's similar to what already exist.
The romance, or should I say militaristic misunderstandings? It's comical, and also seems like it might bear real fruit in the future, I'll keep an eye out for it. Anything here now is just time, but with enough time, time can become something more.
The concept is well thought out, if not very original in the broad sense of sci-fi. Still Sci-Fi with GTS themes is still a new genre in a sense, so it's cool to see it. I can't help but want to draw parallels to my own stories I'm writing on GTW at the moment.
Anyways keep up the writing, and I'll look forward to the next chapter.
Thanks for reading EricAFreak.
I concur that there needs to be more plot-driven stories on GTSworld.
I'm glad that my grammar isn't too bad. I 've been working hard on trying to improve it and the advise you have given me has definately helped.
The senator is sort of a minor character, but he might make a re-appearence later. As for the senators themselves, they were modeled more or less after roman or greek senates.
Michael is very old, even though he is physically young. And in addition he is also the veteran of a very costly war, his philosophical side is a product of his long lifespan and his militaristic side is well... a product of his military career. As for his second guessing the way I see it everyone does that no matter who you are.
Nephila is probably not going to have a breakdown, but she will have to come to terms with her hatred for both Atlantians and for her fellow giants.
Athena. Now she was interesting to write, and will certainly be interesting in later chapters. Sadly I can't say much about her for now.
I'm glad I came up with a new idea lol. It makes writing the story that much easier because I don't have to worry about copying somebody.
See you next time Eric