[Report This]Date: May 20 2014 3:03 PM Title: Chapter 7
"You and all your little friends are the size of insects, and I’m much, MUCH bigger than you. Therefore, I can do whatever I want with you."
Dat logic. :)
[Report This]Date: June 06 2013 4:06 PM Title: Chapter 7
Heh! I thought sure she was going to crush Amy and the other eight, and keep Michael for herself. Nice to see you're not going to go down that overly cliche' path.
Author's Response:
Haha yeah, that's not where I wanted to take this story. Thanks for reading/reviewing!
[Report This]Date: June 06 2013 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 7
It's been a while since I last really, really looked forward to a story update here, but you've got me hooked! For a first attempt at posting a story here, you have by far outdone the standards most people shoot for. There are so many elements here that I appreciate going in this story, some very obvious, some not so obvious.
For example, I'm a huge unaware and footplay kind of person. Flip flops are in my top favorites for women to wear while interacting with shrunken people. Starting the story out with that kind of content already had me interested. However, a more subtle idea that you've used (and there should be more of this) is having the woman nearly end her friends' lives under foot, and soon after, she becomes as small as them, enduring the same problem with another friend. It's a very humbling concept and gives a very tangible emotion to the story, and a better sense of perspective.
Speaking of perspective, mentioned in earlier comments was how you haven't made much mention (that I've seen) of their specific size. Intentional or not, that tends to work for very select stories, yours being one of them. I prefer much smaller sizes, and this allows me to assume the group is the size I like.
Finally, the introduction of a character who is aware of the situation, and re-introducing the footplay in a whole new way is refreshing, like buying your favorite brand of cereal after trying a different brand for a while. It's familiar, and yet new, again. You've done a good job keeping is exciting and anticipating the mood of the story very well here. I hope to see you not only continue this story, but add others as well!
Author's Response:
I really appreciate the great review! I'm glad you mentioned enjoying the whole "Amy went from towering over everyone else to standing just as small as them" thing. I really love this idea and I plan to continue playing with it and Amy's thoughts as the story goes on. I actually read through chapter 3 again a few days ago and realized I left something out that I had planned to write in. I put in a little paragraph where she finds a trench in the ground that had been created by her heel before she shrunk and she just stands there, mesmerized by it.
Thank you very much for the review and for reading, I hope you continue to enjoy!
[Report This]Date: June 06 2013 12:59 AM Title: Chapter 7
Big problems pending indeed. I love the fact that you haven't said how small they are because that allows me to think of them being a height I want them to be(2"). I just love how she treats them, because she's not being mean just kinda forcing them to just accept it with intimidation and kindness(maybe cheerfulness is a better word). I of course loved the foot scenes you put in because they didn't seem forced they flowed very well with the context of the story/Claire herself. Also them being put in the attic while she takes care of her errands was great because it's not the typical cliche, of being in her room or closet. Very well done. Just hope that she's right about the bug situation.
And if I could give a thought to what I think might happen next: Jim gets in his truck to turn on the lights and maybe he gets either reckless or desperate and decides to drive his truck thru the cardboard shoebox. But I honestly think it would cause too much damage to the truck to penetrate the cardboard(as far fetched as that sounds), not saying it can't be accomplished actually the opposite. All they would have to do is find some way to weaken the integrity of the wall, maybe with something as simple as peeing on a certain spot(as gross as that sounds, it would be quite effective, maybe lol) or there could be some water left in the truck bed or most likely some coolant/antifreeze.
But then again do they really want to escape from this to just be in the enormous attic?
Great, great story. I hope I didn't come off as too 'preachy' because I really like this story and love the direction it's headed. I just wanted to I guess through some ideas out. And I can't wait to see what happens next.
aaron
PS do any of the tinies have a lighter?
Author's Response:
WARNING: SPOILERS!
Oh man! I already have most of the next chapter written and I'll have it completed and posted here probably Friday night but it's as if you've already read it, haha. I really don't like to reveal my plans for the story but since you guessed so well I'll tell you this now: Much of what you've predicted for the next chapter actually happens or is discussed by the shrunken group.
And please, don't worry at all about being "preachy" or anything like that. The best part of writing this story has been reading comments and reviews from the people reading it. I like to know what people are thinking of each chapter before I post the next one.
Date: June 05 2013 9:25 PM Title: Chapter 7
Dude this is amazing the foot play is great, very curious about what her important work is. Keep going!
Author's Response:
Thanks, glad you enjoyed!