Reviewer: wildcatman Signed [Report This]
Date: May 20 2013 11:37 AM Title: Chapter 5 - Her Majesty

Very good suspence, in the first chapter- I really liked the short sections, from his perspective, then from her's...and back again, made it easy to visualize....

Although, the dream sequence seemed a little rushed, it was nicely told.  The wishes that change his size at random are a little hard to believe, and seem to distract from the fantasy,  (just too 'Unreal') Ya know? 

Great discriptions, and detail though.  I look forward to keeping up with this one!

Author's Response: I didn't feel I could keep up the format from the beginning of the first chapter since it was basically telling the story twice. It was mainly a gimmick anyway as I brought the parallel stories together. As for the size changing, you're right. It's a crutch I'm not planning on using as things progress, but for the moment I think it fits the fantasy angle of the story. Thanks for your kind words and constructive comments!