[Report This]Date: January 10 2013 8:12 AM Title: Chapter 1
I'm going to agree with Stubbornstain here. The premise of this story is horrible and,while our shared fantasy is not feasible this story takes it to a different level. Further, your subject matter are clearly juveniles. I'd recommend taking out the mature themes or changing your setting all together.
Who revealed your identity? The authorities?
Date: January 10 2013 8:12 AM Title: Chapter 1
I'm going to agree with Stubbornstain here. The premise of this story is horrible and,while our shared fantasy is not feasible this story takes it to a different level. Further, your subject matter are clearly juveniles. I'd recommend taking out the mature themes or changing your setting all together.
Who revealed your identity? The authorities?
Date: January 10 2013 5:36 AM Title: Chapter 1
Hi,
Cool story. I wish I attended that school. *Smiles* Hope you write more stories.
Mark Bryan
Author's Response: Thanks. I agree, I would have loved to have gone to that school :) I hope you like the next chapters just as much!
Date: January 09 2013 6:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
Having my indentity revealed would be the worst thing ever! I sometimes draw pictures for my friend who is a giantess. She doesn't appear to have any real friends so she's got nothing to lose, but if my parents found out I'd be terrified. Or my friends. That would be worse actually.
In terms of your story you could format it better. I see a lot of speech mixed in with the description and this can be confusing for the reader. It's a nice idea you have, but I'm wondering why parents would allow their children to go to a school knowing they could get killed.
I feel it would be better if this was a story about a school where larger people meet smaller people, not where people get shrunk. Why would anyone want to go to a school with the knowledge they could be used and abused there? Surely the people who shrink people should being going to jail for abusive behaviour and murder. The parents would also surely be worried about the safety of their children.
Author's Response: Thanks for the sympathy. I really appreciate someone who understands and respects how precarious our sitatuion is on this site. You hvae my word as a writer that I will adress the gaping plot holes you mentioned in later chapters if I can.