[Report This]Date: May 24 2023 6:15 AM Title: Mall Rats
Yeah, your smut in this story has been pretty impressive both in quality and quantity up until this point, so I think you can be forgiven for taking one chapter to focus on plot/action. Besides, a little delayed gratification every now and then can be a good thing, and it has been a while since we've seen Barb and John have some fun together, so I'm willing to bet the payoff for that is going to be pretty rewarding.
I know Barb coming out of her shell and kind of follow a Shaun of the Dead-type theme has been mentioned several times by now, but God damn! Seeing how far she's come since the first chapter (or even just a few chapters ago) is so satisfying. In particular, her excitement and fun-loving approach in this chapter is a beautiful contrast to the timid, frightened demeanor of almost every other character not named John.
Seriously, seeing Celia panic and abandon her crew, the escaping cheerleaders crying that they just want to go home, Rhames starting to lose his cool that John is dragging his feet, and even Cassie and Peter (who are with Barb, of course) being timid to the whole plan makes Barb hooting and yelling excitedly as she blows up part of the mall and tries to gun down her arch nemesis that much more fun to read.
Aside from that enthusiasm, however, it's even more satisfying that Barb has and is executing a rescue plan at all. The last time we saw John and her together, she was lamenting that she wasn't the person who comes up with plans or knows what to do, and now she seems like the only one with a plan in all the chaos. It's amazing what her time with John (and the prospect of losing him) has done for her.
Oh, and the plan itself, badass! I think anyone not named Hank Hill would appreciate that use of propane.
As for John, I haven't really focused on his development as much, as it's been a bit more subtle, I think (I mean, Barb is the NEET from the story name, so we instantly know more about her background than about Johns, so it's easier to track her development). But the past two chapters have really shown how John has grown throughout the story. Seeing John hold not only Rhames but a group of giants over a barrel to rescue the other tinies and wait for Barb shows some guts that I'm not sure he had in chapter 1. Also, I was actually taken by surprise when he knocked Rhames out, as I didn't think he had it in him (and he was even smart enough to deter Rhames from experimenting with the wiring once he wakes up).
The story kind of focused a bit more on Cassie and Peter for the past few chapters (which wasn't a bad thing) but it was great to see our two main characters step up and take back the spotlight.
Once again, I absolutely love how Celia goes from rageful bitch to perky cheerleader at the drop of a hat. It hasn't lost its eeriness at all, and it hasn't been overdone in the story either. And to see our cheer captain lose her cool and run away once she lost control of the situation is perfect. It's the first time we've seen her in a situation that she can't authority her way out of, and shutting down and panicking shows that while she had some traits that allowed her to lead for a time, she was never a true leader.
It was nice to see Peter be able to defend Cassie there at the end. I didn't mention it last chapter, but the way he was directing Cassie and Barb during the escape from the mall parking lot was great, too. It's good to see him be able to contribute after having to lay low and deal with Celia's shit for so long. It highlights him as part of the team, as opposed to being a glorified mascot.
I also liked seeing the escaping cheerleaders showing some humanity but still struggling to overcome Celia's programing. Tammy, who we saw be kind of nice during her introduction to the story, stopping her fellow cheerleader from using her gun to exert authority over the mall worker was a nice touch. Of course, much like when she told Monica to leave the tinies alone, she had an excuse, but I get the feeling that deep down, she actually does have a decent sense of right and wrong (otherwise she wouldn't step in so often with said excuses). Also, it didn't take much to convince her to go get the tinies they had forgotten. But maybe I'm reading too much into a minor character here.
And I don't think I ever expected to see Kevin Smith and Gilgamesh references in the same chapter of a story (or the same story at all, for that matter) but both were appreciated!
Author's Response:
Yeah the world has kind of gone upside down in this chapter, our normally cool and collected characters are panicking as the situation deteriorates and Barb is the one driving things and tearing down the metaphorical, and literal, walls. Barb's plan obviously isn't the most sophisticated one in the world, but it gets the job done. I know you said you didn't care for the Dawn of the Dead remake, but the scene in that one with the propane explosion and the rippling wave of zombies was definitely an inspiration here.
John and Barb are both going all in on each other at the end here, obviously this means both are a lot braver than they'd normally be. Barb has grown into a badass apocalypse survivor, obviously John can't just rest on his laurels and let her do all the work!
Celia is obviously following the trajectory of many zombie movie villains in her descent into madness. She had the brutality, the organization, and the lust for power to pull her people through the apocalypse, but like you said she was never a real leader, she was using everyone around her and was ready to throw them all away to buy herself a little more time.
Peter has come a ways too, he's not exactly storm the trenches brave, but he's resilient and it was him that "saved" Cassie from Celia's influence. Personally in these stories I like it when the tiny guys have bigger roles in the plot, hence John and Peter being relatively involved despite being pocket sized.
Tammy is, like Cassie, one of the people who was questioning things, she'd probably have been the next to take a trip to the parking garage with Celia had the mall group remained for much longer. At this point the shock to the system has got them all, even the ones who sided with Celia, starting to realize just how insane their whole situation has become. The added pressure of a massive zombie horde and the potential for a gunfight probably helps drive the point home. As for the tinies Tammy probably really did just forget about them in the chaos and would have probably hated herself for it if they'd gotten away without them.