Date: September 23 2023 8:02 AM Title: Chapter 10
Long review incoming, this chapter inspired lots of ideas and its taken a while to get the energy to share.
Your use of "transport for tinys" in previous chapters for travel inside buildings (homes, schools, offices, etc.) made perfect sense but here when it's taken out of that context and placed into the wider world it complicates things considerably. The idea that, when the virus was first starting to spread, male politicians would have seen the writing on the wall and began these sorts of construction projects for men in the future makes sense. However at the present moment in the story where futanari and shrunken men are the overwhelming majority it doesn't follow for the futanari in power to have continued this facade. It's clearly not safer for the men if they can get so easily crushed. Even in the workplace it's simply proving inconvenient having to transport them from their homes every day. Everything we've seen from the futanari implies that they genuinely do care for men, at least as pets/property if nothing else. At this stage it feels more logical, and I think would fit much better with the domineering nature of your story quite frankly, that the futanari run governments of the world would be moving towards getting men off the streets entirely. Implementing policies that state men need to have designated futanari handlers when moving outdoors. Making attempts to have these futa fascists in uniform capture any rogue men wandering the cities or building communes in the countrysides. Building miniature housing structures (doll prisons, indoor suburbs, human beehives, whatever) in pre-existing apartment complexes or inside office buildings (for the men who worked non-physical labor jobs and are lucky enough to still be employed) to keep any captured men without families in close proximity to capable futanari at all time (giantess managers during the day, janitors at night). Really men in this world just have too much of a right to freedom of movement which needs to be eroded over time (plenty of slow build ideas here for multiple chapters) until there is an appropriate, and sexy, equivalent of a "leash law".
As for an inciting incident that would necessitate such a change you'd need to have either one really important man, like the futanari president's husband for example, get crushed outdoors or a bunch of men getting crushed all over the nation over a long enough period of time that futanari start protesting en masse for the elimination of tiny transport altogether after losing so many friends, family members, pets, toys, etc. and start advocating for much tighter, closer, more secure, and more appealing means of transporting the men in their lives.
Date: August 31 2023 9:34 AM Title: Chapter 10
Agreed with Darien Fawkes. And depending on how dark you want the story, it can be a range of things : some girl is abusing him or perhaps a teacher has some very inappropriate behaviour and Penelope goes at her for Mike's sake.
Or perhaps Mike can't take the belittlement from his family and the girls ar school, try to end it in any way and Penelope saves him, in more ways than one.
Really, the game's up to you, I have utmost confidence in your skills !
[Report This]Date: August 26 2023 8:40 PM Title: Chapter 10
As you know I don't want to tell you how to write your story, but if you're looking for an idea for the Mike x Penny development, one option could be that she saves him in some way at school. Gets to be the protective guardian gf. This could end up fueling his feelings for her, and in turn lead to them doing more kinky stuff with him being more willing to indulge out of a desire to repay and please her. That in turn could lead to him being more willing to indulge the rest of his family as he starts to like the treatment
If he starts to like being used to please giant women then you could basically have him do whatever you want with them and he'll believably go along with it. Just my two cents. I hope the writer's block clears up soon my guy
[Report This]Date: August 19 2023 5:35 PM Title: Chapter 10
Ouch, brutal chapter.
Regarding the block of MikexPenny, I've mulled over it (which shows how great your story is).
I think having Penelope genuinely in leove and doing stuff with Mike that a normal couple would do, like watching movies normally and all, alternating with moments when she jsut can't resist her lust any longer, and uses her, and then act all lovey dovey and tender. Basically, if you took the next chapter to unconscious Mike, have her tenderly wash him and gush at how handsome he is and how fortunate SHE is to have landed such a great boyfriend, etc. Well, at least i'd write it like that.
After that, if you want to go a darker road. Well, there is a loot of feet at school, suicide by giantess is always an option for a tiny mind whose sense of ego simply can't endure the constant diminishment and patronizing of his family and girlfriend, no matter how well intentionned those futas are, I guess...
But in any case, I trust you to write some more great chapters haha, so write what you want !