Date: October 20 2021 6:17 AM Title: The S Virus
There are some distracting pronoun errors, like calling him Adam and then saying "I". Also there are times where you say him instead of her when talking about things like ccleavage.
That being said, I think it's off to a great start. If he were to end up around doll sized, it'd be very humiliating if tarah decides to pretend practice breastfeeding him, maybe for a home-Economics or health class, or maybe just for fun to show her sisters how important boobs are. If he gets really small maybe he could end up trapped in her big ass as punishment for talking back.
Author's Response:
Yo are totally right .. I speak Spanish so usually I write the story in that lenguaje and then translate it with some translator... so some mistakes could happen, I will revise the story completely to avoid them ... thank you
Date: December 03 2020 8:22 AM Title: begginig of problems
Nice beginning.... I Hope you keep going
[Report This]Date: November 03 2020 2:17 AM Title: begginig of problems
Good story. I hope you keep it up
Date: October 30 2020 8:47 PM Title: begginig of problems
Great start. I'm looking forward to see more!
[Report This]Date: October 30 2020 4:14 PM Title: begginig of problems
Great beginning of a story. Does he natrually lose height because of the fog or does physical touch transfer size? it will be cool for him to trapped in Tara's breasts
Author's Response:
Yo había decidido continue with the story. I hope you like it
Date: October 28 2020 1:52 PM Title: begginig of problems
Thanks you very much! I will check all your suggestion! I will improve the grammar.
keep looking, it will get better!