Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: July 17 2019 7:11 PM Title: Memories "Little Sister"

I think your story has so much potential! I like feet, but I love a good story to go with it, so I am going to leave some sugestions. Hope you like. And sorry if the text ends up a bit long. 

Megan: Loved the chapter flashing how Megan fells lonely. Thats definitely something that can be explored as an important factor in the current relationship between her and Max. She can´t share her fantasies with friends and Ashley, while he is in the perfect position to be the one to understant and accept her, although being very cold and defiant at first.

 

Ashley and Alexis: I know you haven´t introduced Alexis yet, but, this idea just keps popping up in my head: she likes to torture Max more than she likes Ashley. That could turn into jealousy and a good justification for Ashley to torture Max or even expell him  from home (to regret later on).

 

Max: It´s not about him wanting to be a slave for his sisters. It´s about him being turned into a slave and strugling to show them he is much more. He is a human being, their brother, and a very good one despite the bumps in the past (thinking about how he laughed of Megan when she was just a kid - maybe thats why she keept and developed such a strong malicious fascination for tiny people and her own feet over the years?).

 

Once again, sorry for the long text, your new chapters where so great (specially the third) that the ideas just kept coming. Hope some will help developing the story and chracters. Thank you for your efforts and hoping to see more soon. :D

 

Author's Response:

Genuinely thrilled to hear that you enjoy the story. I very much want to develop these characters and their relationships in this story. This will likely mean that some chapters inevitable have long sections with no action, but I hope that by the time that the story comes to a close, it will be a journey worth taking.

 

Thanks for the support!

Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: July 16 2019 8:15 PM Title: Smelling Salts

I think it´s a good start. You have laid down the focal points of the relationship between the 3 main characters. You can work from there, going more deep into their stories and personalities.

I just hope you don´t make the young sister a full sadist. You can work with her fascination on the power she has over her brother, her recklessness in handling him and the consequences of her action. Just a sugestion for the future. it's just sad and boring when a character is made evil just because and acts as a psycho.

Thank you for your for writing and rewriting the text. Hope to see more soon.

Sorry for any misspelling. Although fluent, english isn't my primary language.

 

Author's Response:

I don't want Megan becoming a sadist either. She's mean but she does in fact love her brother. However there is a new charcter on her way who will have a pretty strong influence over the sisters, much to Max's dismay.

 

Stick around and watch how things develop and I think you'll enjoy what comes.

 

Thanks for reading and I'm glad that you've enjoyed it so far!