Reviewer: Ronaldinho10 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 08 2019 10:23 PM Title: The only chapter

I would love to see more of this beautiful story!
Keep up the good work.

Reviewer: Darien Fawkes Signed [Report This]
Date: May 07 2019 7:59 PM Title: The only chapter

This was a pretty good read. A little more taboo than usual for this site when factoring in the child-like mentality, but that didn't ruin it. The descriptions were well done and definitely hot, good attention to detail. I'm personally a big fan of how Carrie is dominating without being mean in anyway. I love that aspect in women, both fictional and real. When they can show off in a seductive way but still be caring and not cruel. That was very well done on your part. Now I've got some questions in regards to the cliff hanger "to be continued?". Keep in mind these arent critisisms. Just probes of thought if you decide to make a sequel.

The most important one being, where do the characters go from here? 

Carrie- she's now the tallest, strongest, and smartest one around. What does she do with that? What new ways do she show that off for Nate by dominating him? I'd definitely like to see more of the dominating but caring attitude, never make her go cruel or mean. But there definitely could be other ways she utterly dominates him like that. And what if she does so to others? Who, and how? Maybe not in a seductive way like with Nate, but a seven foot amazon with muscle would definitely find opportunities to show off in front of others. Maybe Jessica?

Nate- now he seems to be in a bit of a perdicament as far as character goes. The medication made him regress. How then do you have character development for someone like that? Maybe if Carrie is the owner of the journel now his role becomes reduced to just her play thing/ward that she wants to care for. But they're also apparently lovers so that makes for a strange dicotomy.

Jessica- I'm not even going to suggest anything. She's a well written and likable character, but she's also a blank slate of potential. There are so many things she could potentially be used for, whether or not they're sexual in nature or platonic. I'm going to leave that up for you to decide.

As you can tell i enjoyed this. Not just because it was hot but because I see potential for what you can do with characters like this. Whether or not you want to continue it is up to you. 

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the feedback.

As for where this will go in the future I do already have some ideas but I don't want to set anything in stone yet. But I can say that any potential sequel will probably widen the focus of the story to more than just Nate and Carrie's relationship. I won't be dropping any of the existing characters but I do want want to expand the scope a little.

I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it!

P.s. The whole childlike mentality thing kinda happened without my thinking about it. It's deffinitly out of my normal M.O. and I'll probably be backing off on that in the future.