Date: August 22 2020 12:38 AM Title: Growth Potential 3: Gigantic Boogaloo
Had to look twice when I saw the title under "most recent", and I must say: AWESOME!
I m thrilled to read more. Maybe with this you have found a fitting method for you to continue your GTS-literature-escapades and even write new stories. With this "storyboard" form of a text, you only need a fraction of the time a full written story requires while the read is just as enjoyable as your other chapters. Well, at least for me. ;D
In my opinion, more of your stories is always better, and I think I m far from being the only one with that opinion.
Anyways, I m going to stay tuned and happy to see the love for Gts still resides within your heart!
Best of luck for you and your girl!
Author's Response:
Yeah things are good but there really isn't time to write shit. I think you're right. I might just dump outlines onto here periodically. Honestly, if someone finds some ideas in these entries worth writing, they can have them. I really don't care. Hell, I'd almost rather throw outlines out there and see someone else do the hard work, though I really do enjoy writing.
I knew I was in trouble when I came up with an idea for a story that would only work if it unfolded over dozens of chapters (no I'm not talking about Growth Potential). I wanted to do a detective story where the protagonist learns the "killer" he's chasing is a woman who shrinks men for her pleasure. Twists and turns abound, etc etc etc. No time for it. There's a lot more I'd like to say about it, but maybe we'll get outlines someday.
So, for my unfinished stories... The Intern. A lot of people liked this one. I did too. Well. I may dump an outline on that. I felt like it got left at a spot that a lot of people were unhappy with, but it wasn't as bad as it seemed. I had a couple good ways in my head to end it, so we'll see what happens. I'd have to reread the whole story before writing it again. The growing/shrinking rules were pretty complicated.
Threesome. It may take a long time but I would like to keep writing it. I think everyone will just have to be patient with it. I had an idea for it that I just don't want to leave hanging. I think there will be a lot of people who don't like the idea, but hey, I do this for free.
Anyway. As always, thank you for reading. It brings me a lot of joy knowing that I produced something that even one person was interested in.
[Report This]Date: October 03 2019 4:20 PM Title: Redux Chapter 17 - Forever
Both versions of "Growth Potential" strike me as some of the best stories around. While I am generally skeptical towards alternate endings and different versions of the same story, I have never minded you doing it due to high quality of final results. That being said, the story is yours and yours alone; you should never feel pressured to cater to any reader's needs. Hence, I will not comment on any plot-oriented matters, only the technical ones.
1. Language & writing - you are a skillfull writer, the story flows smoothely with very few exceptions (about that later).
2. Character development - done well, an improvement over its alternate insallment.
3. Coherency - the plot follows the established laws of the universe, characters act in a believable manner, given their background and views.
4. Overall quality - very good.
Weak spots:
1. The beginning feels like the redux is not an independent story and assumes the characters to already be known to some extent.
2. A little bit rushed ending; the epilogue part could probably be a bit longer and paint the picture of a post-Heather world in greater detail.
All things considered, the story is still within my top 0,1% stories of all time.
Looking forward to your next project,
C
[Report This]Date: October 03 2019 12:09 PM Title: Redux Chapter 17 - Forever
Bravo!
Author's Response:
Cheers!
Date: October 03 2019 11:45 AM Title: Redux Chapter 17 - Forever
Well, here we are again, at another ending to this great story. I can't say enough how this has been one of my favorite stories, enough so to make me come out of lurking to regularly give my thoughts, and now, sadly, we are at a point where this may be the last review I'll ever have the pleasure of giving you.
First off, this last chapter by itself: I wouldn't say perfect, mostly due to it feeling slightly rushed and kind of ending abrubtly, but basically the actual events transpiring happened in a satisfactory way. I knew something was up with the absorbed memories when Heather started thinking Jason SHOULD have been the god and how his reign would have been "perfect". I assumed this was because these... were Jason's toughts. (No shit sherlock) Of course HE thought his reign would have been perfect, he either didn't think of the negatives his taking over would bring or just ignored them, and thus Heather did too as she just saw and felt the positives. Ben figuring out and unraveling how everything worked expanded on that wonderfully, wrapping everything we've learned into a nice little package... but at the cost of the whole "Everyone's souls can be brought back." option being gone forever. Poor Mark...
Focusing more on that, and assuming the "Goddess" and "God" alt endings from the original story are indicative of how their reigns would have ended up in THIS timeline, one could argue that Jason WOULD have been better. When Heather was in charge she only killed when there was resistence, or at least that was the only time worth mentioning, but after a thousand years or so, she wiped out humanity by absorbing them so it was just her and Ben forever. Jason on the other hand, basically started eating and crushing people right off the bat for no reason other than his own pleasure. In the first cycle, this clearly made him the worst choice since, eventually, he would have run out of toys or left the population so sparse and far from each other they would either be unable to repopulate themselves or result to some intense inbreeding. In THIS version, however, he would just bring people back, as Heather put it in 'Reign' "The fun doesn't have to stop." But even this is dystopian as thanks to the pheramones Jason would be brainwashing everyone to LIKE being killed for him, to WANT it like in the original version... or at least he would, if this final chapter didn't establish that the copies are just that... copies. SO I guess whether Humanity actually lives on under Jason depends on how you see the people he would have reformed after having his way with them. In the alternate future where jason won, there would still be this planet called earth, full of people who if you asked would say they are humans, who could recount all their little memories, but there would always be something off. They would lack subtley... *Twilight Zone theme plays*
P.S. I need to also remind myself that while Heather kept killing to a minimum in the old timeline, in this one she was basically doing what Jason did on a bigger scale, since the added powers allowed her to be more uninhibited. "Releasing the beast" so to speak. That said, the same would have probably happened to Jason.
Now then, let's get to the story as a whole. I suppose we should begin with something I've griped on in the past, and that's the ratio between who got more focus: Heather or jason. Of the 17 chapters of this iteration Jason and "Jason" comes out at 12 chapters where he has focus as a giant while Heather comes out with a measly... 12! Yes, despite my bitching of this being more "Jason's story" earlier you actually came out giving them an even number of chapters... but not even focus. This is a giant couples story in the end, so of course they would share chapters, but usually Heather's chapters have her either overshadowed by, smaller than, or downright had the focus stolen by jason. In fact, there's only about three where she comes out on top without loss or sharing the limelight, meaning Ben ended up interacting more with Jason than he did with his own girlfriend. Now, you've actually been kind enough to elaborate on this more both in the final End Chapter Notes and outside the story, making this more palpable. You wanted to be more subtle by having Jason as this antagonisitc force who had his tentacles in everything, his contant overbearing nature overpowering Heather's building up to her finally wrestling control from him. That... happened. However, unlike the first story where you had more freedom, this time you had a sort of deadline, so you didn't have the luxury to take the time and explore things, making some plot points more subtle, and ultimately gave up on entire sections that would have made the story stronger. Personally, I think you had a damn good reason, but it still hurt the story, at least in that while it still ended up good, it could have been better.
With that out of the way, I want to talk about the things I liked. To put it blunt, this is porn. Most people came to read freaky sex to satisfy their freaky kinks. But I'm also a nerd who likes me some good world building, so something that this story had over the other in my opinion is how the titular "Growth Potential" worked. I'm sure there were points where you were making it up as you go along, but on the whole it's a pretty good system, and slowly unlocking more powers as your GP "Levels Up" was more entertaining than the "Suddenly become Omnipotent at a mere 500 ft" like in the ending chapters of the first version. It's a system that could make for a great RPG! This system is the reason why even though I think the first story is superior and better written, I probably had more FUN reading this one, as my previous reviews bouncing around theories of how the Growth Potential powers worked would show, and would feel gleeful whenever something I guessed ended up being correct, or at least close to it.
Another good point was heather's character. In the original there was no real development with her character. She started off as this sweet, fun-loving girl, who just happened to have a kink implanted into her head by her mad scientist mother where she wants absolute power over the whole planet. She even seeme almost innocent, as Jason would guide her into how to handle shrunken people and she would try to take to it, the sexual thill taking away her ability to consider how Ben feels about being treated like this. We see her sort of degrade over time as she can't get Ben to worship her the way she wants, but in the end just kind of snaps back to how she was originally, the God and Devil alt endings not withstanding because she was basically drunk on pheramones. Here, Heather that's still basically true, but it's how she reacts to Jason. Before, she could see him as a sort of mentor figure because he had experience handling tiny people before her. Here they were supposedly starting on equal footing, but with Jason actively trying to maintain control and be on top. Instead of seeing him as someone to learn from, this kind of gave off the feeling that she was in his shadow, something she was fine with at first because it was hot for her, but as Jason kept increasing his growth potential and monopolizing Ben while she couldn't due to refusing to eat people and being called away, her insecurities built up untill finally she could no longer deny what was going on. Unlike the previous Heather, this allowed this heather to sort of snap back like a rubber band, endulging in her "inner beast" instead of remaining relatively controlled for a millenium. Ultimately, this Heather felt more dynamic, like she had more going on with her character, which is always a nice plus.
And of course... there is AJ. Like I've said before, I love this woman. To the point where I basically based one of my own characters on her and the copy of this story I have on my computer has Corporal Dawes' name replaced with my own. I loved how she took to being small in the last story, though her dedication to Jason solely seemed weird since her past with Ben seemed like she would have tried something with him. In fact, back when you were first starting the alternate endings I think I misread you saying there were going to be FIVE endings instead of four, and naturally assumed there was going to be an AJ ending where she basically ends up with Ben and had all sorts of sizey fun with Heather and Jason are in, like, an antfarm or something. You later revealed that there was going to be a fifth one but it would have been about Ben "the Athiest" but hey, a man can dream. It's good to see her have her spotlight here, but again, I'm a greedy bastard so if you give me an inch of AJ, I'm going to want a mile. Lots and lots of miles of AJ...............
...what? Sorry, kind of blanked out there. In summation, you've given me and many others a fun ride, and even if you never write again I'm at least satisfied it's because you're leaving us for your own, personal Goddess, and I hope the two of you are VERY happy together. I'm sure we'll never get to see another epic like this... but this kink isn't so hard to get rid of, so should you ever get the writing itch and and decide on putting out some short little vignettes I hope I'm lucky enough to see them.
From your very satisfied reader: Mr. M
...but what WAS the deal with Ben's Pocket watch anyway...!?
Author's Response:
Wow. A lot of really good feedback here, the good and the bad, I appreciate it all. I’ll try to walk through your points in order:
So yeah, we could easily stretch out the last chapter into like, five more chapters. I’m pretty comfortable with its length, at least on the rationale that to bring the story to a soft landing would probably take at least another month of writing, and it’s super time consuming. This story in particular is, since I constantly have to keep character motivations consistent (in a short story who really cares).
To Ben’s whole point about memories vs souls, he’s a hard materialist and doesn’t believe in souls in the first place. Even if a person could be “resurrected” with perfect fidelity, I’m pretty sure in his eyes he would argue that continuity of consciousness has been broken, and that is a real person that is distinct from its identical and deceased predecessor. Sort of like the classic Star Trek teleporters being essentially suicide booths. All the evidence points in favor of his case, but of course this is a fantasy story and the physics of Growth Potential were intentionally vague. Maybe the souls live on somehow. But I’m leaning toward they don’t. At one point I even thought about solving the whole crisis through time travel, but then I was like... Wait wait wait... I hate time travel. Poor Mark.
There’s another issue with literal souls being trapped inside Heather or Jason that, if I went this route, would get really complicated really fast. Because every time they released those souls and brought people back to life, wouldn’t they be diminishing their own power at the same time? Then power dynamics get really weird and even more unstable than they already were. Could be fun and interesting but also draws the story out waayyy too much in my mind.
I did, however, really like the idea that Jason was actually alive and working hard to take control of Heather’s body. But then everything gets super weird from there. Shrug. There are always fun paths to take a super open ended story like this.
It’s been a while since I even looked at the original, but I don’t think Jason eats anyone who doesn’t want it. In “The Devil” maybe something like that happens but that was like a zombie Heather/Jason rather than their true selves. I dunno. I forget things.
Yeah. Your idea about constantly recreating generic human clones for Jason or Heather’s amusement was really where this story was headed, but it just felt super bleak to me. I like it, but it didn’t feel quite right.
Jason does pull a lot of focus, and I’m OK with that. I regret not giving Heather more time, of course, but I’m also pretty happy with her arc. Most of the story she actually sucks. It’s really not until Chapter 13 - Devour that she redeems herself, but she does so in a big way and to me she earns her title at the top. The other thing is, Jason is just so relentless in exerting his power over others, but if Heather started out that way she wouldn’t be a very sympathetic character, and I really wanted to sympathize with her while also making her the destroyer of the world. On a more meta level, M/mf stories are scarce and there’s a lot of space to be explored in how men and women wield power in different ways. That said, Jason’s really the only entry I care to make in that field.
Gotta admit, women are way harder to write than men. That shouldn’t come as a surprise in hindsight. Even sophisticated men are pretty blunt and clear in their motives. Women are complex creatures. I know in 2019 that’s sexist to say or whatever, but it’s the damn truth.
I’m glad you like the first story better than this one, seems most people are the reverse. I’m pretty indifferent. There were just a lot more avenues the story could’ve taken, so I figured what the hell, let’s go ahead and do another round.
The Growth Potential power system is super vague in this one, and I’m happy with that. I think if I spent half the story explaining how the system works, it wouldn’t have been as fun.
As for Heather’s “beast”... Umm.. I don’t wanna put a label on it but I feel like she’s got some undiagnosed personality disorder. Jason too, actually. Their screening process for the Growth Potential program must’ve been pretty terrible.
Yeah AJ’s fun. Glad she won. She was the only adult in the room anyway.
So. Ben’s watch. Boy, if I could do the first story over again, I’d take that whole thing right out. The backstory to that (there are a few different variations I thought up) was Ben was in a card game years back. Some rich asshole sits down, talks shit, Ben slowplays him and busts the guy out. The guy lays his watch on the table to buy back in. Ben wins the watch. The guy flips. The next day Ben has the watch engraved “To Ben, my good friend” (or whatever it said, don’t bother going back to check). The guy returns, tries to buy it back from Ben, but walks away defeated realizing that Ben had fully marked it as his. It was supposed to have been emblematic that Ben’s always been this little guy who people underestimate, attempt to push around, but he’s fucking ferocious and cunning when he wants to be, and he pushes back twice as hard. At least, in version one of the story. In Redux, he gets broken to the point where he just doesn’t even care anymore. Note that we’ve no indication Ben even wears a watch in this story.
Another item on the list of “Things I wish we had more time for.” Ben actually had a pretty well developed character in my head, but he barely got the opportunity to show it. In the final chapter, you see how fast his mind works, but we don’t really learn much about him. Oh well. I’ll always find things to pick apart, but this story was never really designed to withstand much scrutiny. As you say, it’s porn!
Hey. Glad you enjoyed. It’s super special to me that anyone would read this story and become invested in it. It was fun to write for sure. Thanks dude!
Date: September 19 2019 8:42 AM Title: Redux Chapter 16 - Reign
Well, guess Heather really DID have a plan. XD Good on her, though now the question of her mental state is brought up again and again with more question.
Is this still all Heather or have the thousands millions of minds in her affected her, Jason chief amongst them?
Is this REALLY Jason reborn or just a manifestation of Heather's inner beast made to look familiar?
Either way, it does seem that Ben is been replaced by Jason in Heather's mind, though I'm sure she'll still want to keep him around as her favorite pet, but depending on the answer to previous questions, is this really heather's decision or something else?
I'm not actually expecting you to answer these, at least not in the comments section, but that is the key points that popped into my head. Looking forward to the next chapter~
Author's Response:
Yeah. Lots of weird implications here. The next chapter will explore this, but it probably won't drop until sometime next week. But hey, whatever's going on, Heather's genuinely happy, for the first time in this story. And that makes me feel good.
Date: September 19 2019 5:06 AM Title: Redux Chapter 15 - Will
Fantastic chapter! Love to see AJ being all big and mighty.
I feared for a moment that you went with an open end, but thankfully you already said that more chapters will follow. <3
Keep up the good work! And thanks again!
Author's Response:
I'll be sure to put a big "THE END" at the end. That way you'll know for sure!
Date: September 18 2019 6:10 AM Title: Redux Chapter 15 - Will
you have got to be kidding me
terrible story 2/10
But in all seriousness, it was very nice finally see Heather and A.J. fully indulging themselves. I suppose jason coming back was inevitable, got to get his own ending in there somehow, but what bothers me is how easy that was. Heather seriously left NO ONE to watch him? If so, I guess those that can grow no longer need to eat since it's implied he's been there for months and hasn't starved. You'd think she'd have some kind of alarm system, considering she can teleport now those renegades should have never even made it to the containment pod. But I suppose that goes in the same bin as the surveilence equipment, "If logic was used there would be no story." :P
Though now I question the future length of this story considering your "deadline". But I suppose we'll just wait and see. Looking forward to more~
P.S. GOD I wish I was Greg Dawes...
Author's Response:
Have faith ;)
Hopefully the next chapter will be up today. It won't be the last, but yeah we're nearing it.
[Report This]Date: September 17 2019 7:53 PM Title: Redux Chapter 15 - Will
Love the new development of this story! I feel as though it has ended though? Say it ain't so!
Date: September 16 2019 7:22 PM Title: Redux Chapter 14 - Heather
...I figured this was chaotic neutral Heather...
Date: September 14 2019 8:33 PM Title: Redux Chapter 14 - Heather
Can I call this the 'First Church of Heather' with AJ as her prophet? Love the Heather-portation, elevation of AJ and disintigration of her enemies. Not enough stories give their giantesses powers, so this is scratching an itch. Can't wait to see what else she can do. Maybe tinies can get uppity, and she can smite some cities. I hope Jason stays in the box, Heather needs her time to shine.
I've been thinking about where you would branch this for multiple endings and it seems to me that in chapter 12, AJ could be concerned with Heather having lost it completely leading to an Evil Heather ending. In chapter 13, you could have Heather fail to keep her thoughts from Jason for a Jason ending. Also, in chapter 13, you could have a twist where AJ is a liar and uses Ben to turn Heather and Jason against each other long enough to surpass them/ weaken the competition for an AJ ending. That way you'd have potentially more time to expand upon each ending.
Author's Response:
Yeah... Evil Heather is an... Alternate... Ending... >_>
[Report This]Date: September 12 2019 7:51 AM Title: Redux Chapter 14 - Heather
I'm liking this variant story way more than the first, thank you for continuing it.
The way you describe and write about sizes and power feels very immersive for me. Like so much.
Date: September 11 2019 9:44 PM Title: Redux Chapter 13 - Devour
Finally Heather comes out on top. Thank you. I hope you've come up with some powers for Heather to have since she's eaten so many people. And she's not even done with the mission yet.
My ranking for who comes out in what place is:
1. Ben - He's still a normal man, but gets the important things. He gets his girlfriend back and she's become even more of a goddess
2. Heather - She's eaten thousands of people, so she should have all of Jason's powers and many more
3. AJ and her tiny - She was right. Jason was holding Heather back. That counts for something
4. The world - Heather is its new goddess
5. Jason - Its the box for him. Or Heather can remove his power to grow. Or eat him
Author's Response:
I wonder how Ben would rank himself right now, given that his life is sort of wrecked. Maybe Heather will cheer him up soon.
Date: September 11 2019 3:47 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Odds
Just wanted to drop in and say this might be the best fetish story I have ever read. I can't quite put it into words, but the way you write and how you develop the story is just incredible. Thanks for all the time and effort you've put into it!
Oh, and for your informal poll, I'd love to see Jason truly become a god, and make some more use of those perfect feet of his ;)
Author's Response:
Thank you for that super high praise. I think there are immensely talented (and far superior) writers here and elsewhere, who undoubtedly put a lot more effort into their work than I do. But I'm glad this story hit the right nerve with you. Enjoy!
Date: September 11 2019 3:15 PM Title: Redux Chapter 13 - Devour
Holy. Fucking. Shit. YES!
Today was the first good day in weeks and to come home and find this story to have been updated is... A Heather sized cherry on top!
And for your poll, I hope this cherry becomes the size of a planet!
The scenarios with which Heather hid her true intentions were magnificent, besides the idea to have her need to hide them in the first place. Never seen that before in any other story, so once again, simply brilliant!
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response:
I know she's a fictional character and all, but oddly that chapter really made me proud of her.
Date: September 11 2019 8:53 AM Title: Redux Chapter 13 - Devour
I have goosebumps, anxiously waiting to see how this finally continues! And I also love Heather's imagination, particularly the snow globe one if only because due to my own interests I imagined a shrunken city in there along with her. But most of all, it's good to finally, FINALLY see heather come out over Jason. I get the feeling that this is where the alternate endings will branch, so naturally there will be one where he turns the tables almost immediately, but as an alternate ending I wouldn't mind that.
As for your "Poll", of course I'd choose Heather, assuming A.J. isn't in there too~
Author's Response:
I'd really like to do alternate endings, but of course, no promises. I know where it would branch, but I won't comment on that until we're done with the main story.
This chapter was a lot of fun to write. Glad you enjoyed!
[Report This]Date: September 10 2019 2:36 PM Title: Redux Chapter 12 - Horizon
It was worth the wait the suspend is killing me! Loved the chapter though!
Author's Response:
Thanks!
Date: September 02 2019 2:08 PM Title: Redux Chapter 11 - Tensions
And should never stop to do so!
Would you allow some random stranger on web to ask how old you are?
Author's Response:
Nah it's on. I'm in my early 30s.
Date: September 01 2019 8:22 AM Title: Redux Chapter 11 - Tensions
Happy to hear that! And congratulation for getting married. Your boyfriend/ girlfriend (I guess you are male, hehe) can call themselve lucky!
Love is actually one of the few reasons I can accept as the cause for your decision, even if it still saddens me.
Looking forward to the chapters ( especially the AJ and Heather chapters) and will comment on them.
Have a good life and the best of health!
Cheers!
Author's Response:
Girlfriend. She's the greatest human alive. And some day I'll find a way to grow her into an all-powerful being who will force us all to grovel beneath her feet. Well. A man can dream anyway.
Date: August 31 2019 7:54 PM Title: Redux Chapter 11 - Tensions
Just wanted to let you know that there is a guy out there who has spent his last two weeks looking two times a day for any kind of Update after this cliffhanger.
This shall not put any pressure on you (please take your time!). It's only meant to show you how much some people are anticipating the next chapter and maybe this information, which I'm sure you're already aware of, can help to boost your motivation.
Futhermore, I want to end this review with a simple thank you. For your stories until now, for your hard work, your awesome writing style and interesting characters!
You wrote that you plan to stop writing in a few chapters, which is, for me at least, a devastating news. I've read every word that you have written, and while some of theme aroused me, others managed to touch me and make me think about things I have never thought about before. Not many stories have managed to do that for me, and belive me, I've read MANY! Some would say too many.
So while I don't know you or your circumstances, I hope that there will be a time in your future where your passion for telling stories, and hopefully gts stories, will return. Should that happen, and should the universe until then not have other plans for me, I, and I'm sure many others, will be there to read them.
So sorry for the long review and the end part in the middle of it that should be here XD. I'm not a native speaker and pretty drunk right now, which, by the way, could make my word even more truthfull, given the one szene in a chapter of this story, so I want to apologize for any grammatical errors that may have bothered you while reading this (if you're reading this). Thanks for your time and attention.
Cheers!
Author's Response:
Thank you. I do plan to finish this story. I've been pretty busy lately, and this is going to be another week where I'm tied up. Hopefully the week after I can get some chapters banged out. If anything, the extra time has given me new considerations for how things might end, although I'll probably do the alternate endings like before. I kinda root for everyone here, so I'd like to see how they all perform when they come out on top.
That said, I'm getting married, and writing erotic fiction isn't exactly something I want to be part of my family life, nor is it something I want to hide. My fiancee is actually super cool with my fetish, but, well, yknow. Maybe someday I'll bang out a short story. I've got a few in my head. We'll see.
Anyway. Thanks for the praise. Hope your hangover wasn't too bad!
Date: August 30 2019 9:44 PM Title: Redux Chapter 6 - War
Jason + Giga sizes = Another epic chapter for the books! 🙌 lol