[Report This]Date: October 06 2018 3:07 AM Title: Chapter 1
I think I read this the day it came out, but since then I've read through it a few times.
If it's really a first attempt at this type of writing (Either shrinking or anal vore) it's quite good! Of course everyone has differing opinions, styles, and preferences so just take everything with a grain of salt and use it to improve yourself to establish your own style.
As far as the grammer, spelling, and punctuation goes it takes time to develop good editing skills; It's a fantastic skill, but I have to admit it's definitely a boring part of writing... I have found that just reading through what you've written at least once after you've finished makes a world of different. If you've got a friend you actually feel like sharing this type of writing with and having them read through it is even better.
Anyways, keep up the good writing and I hope to see another chapter added to this story! :)
Author's Response:
thanks! this is the first shrinking story ive wrote and only the second actual story ive written so im glad it's not too awful haha. ill keep your advice in mind as I write more and thanks for taking the time to comment! I'll definitely be adding another chapter to this soon hopefully as well
[Report This]Date: October 02 2018 2:09 AM Title: Chapter 1
First time ever reviewing, though I should have long before. Anyways I noticed this is your first story so I just wanted to offer some words of encouragement; as a first effort this is pretty enjoyable. You would definitely do well to proofread a bit more since there are some typos and errors that made reading a little difficult, but overall the story read well.
I LOVE F/f with sisters so I'm always happy to see people write more of it, and I think your concept was pretty fun. The level of detail was pretty good, descriptive without getting too bogged down. The characters perhaps could have been a bit more defined, but if you wish to continue there is time for that.
I think when you have a concept where you have a big sister and a little sister or something like that, it's good to kind of establish the characters a bit more so we can feel with them how degrading or dirty or good it feels to be used at the hands (or in this case butt) of their big sis or such. Does that make sense? Giving the characters more character and having them react more makes it feel a bit more realistic, I suppose I am geting at. It's late sorry if I am unclear.
Either way I liked this and I hope to see more like it, we need more F/f writers in general, especially ones that focus on this specific field I rather enjoy. Definitely proofread/edit more, but other than that good job!
Author's Response:
well, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for givin me your thoughts. I've always been kinda shitty at proper punctuation and all that so it's tough writing a story and fixing them all but I got a few spelling and punctuation checkers downloaded so it's getting slowly better. this is mostly a test story so to speak since I've never written anything like it before but ill definitely go into more detail for characters and all that jazz in later chapters and other stories most likely! also if your interested in female x dickgirl/futanari or whatever you wanna call them I have a Literotica account and my user for that is witch_of_november and currently I'm working on a fantasy romance story on there so if your into that then I hope ya check it out ^^ thanks again for taking the time to review my story and I hope you'll enjoy my future works