Date: June 19 2017 11:11 AM Title: Introducing Vance
Good start, please keep going.
Date: June 08 2017 12:25 PM Title: Introducing Vance
I'm enjoying the set up you've made in the first chapters. I think your a little hard on yourself.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I know I tend to be, but I think it helps make for more quality writing.
[Report This]Date: May 30 2017 8:23 AM Title: Establishing Who's In Charge
Awesome. Worth the wait. Don't you dare make me wait again!!
Author's Response:
I'll try to keep them coming. ^_^ Thanks!
[Report This]Date: November 19 2016 1:15 PM Title: Introducing Vance
I like it! Writing skill is important, but not as important as the story itself. Your technique isn't bad and this chapter hooks the reader.
I like how you let us use our imagination. We don't know what's going on with Carly. We see her 'red' eyes and guess. Perhaps she's infected by something, or possessed. You 'show' the reader, instead of 'tell' and it makes it more immersive. We're trying to use our brains to figure out what the heck is going on, which is fun.
I'm biased because I'm also a big fan of the 'supergirl' trope (i need to find the official name for that trope...the one where the female is normal sized but physicially superior). Plus she takes control and doesn't give him a choice in the matter. Great stuff!
Author's Response:
Thank you! That's always my goal whenever I tell a story, to let the reader work out the answers for themselves as I give them the little details here and there. I really appreciate the comment :)