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Reviewer: SpookyTaco Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 02 2016 4:32 AM Title: Chapter 1

Everyone's gotta start somewhere. Welcome to being a writer, Zoobee!

You do a good job of describinging the setting and vastness of the narrator's surroundings.

The areas you should work on are character and plot. Character is most important. We need name(s) and personalities, individuals we can relate to.

Plot is also critical. Right now you have a situation: small guy in a huge world. I think once you add character personalities/concerns/problems, a plot will emerge naturally, some central goal with consequences and high stakes.

Anyway, keep reading a lot and writing. Good luck!

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