Date: May 06 2022 9:49 PM Title: A Dream Come true
Waah kya story hai, do you mind to collaborate?
[Report This]Date: December 25 2017 11:03 PM Title: A Dream Come true
I gotta be completely honest, I was about to read the story until I immediately realized the block of text was straining my eyes...
You need to create paragraphs, and learn to improve your punctuation/grammar
I recommend tuning up this story a bit, and I'll check back in a week or so. If it's fixed, great and I'd love to read the story and change my rating, but as of right now I can't even get past the first couple sentences, it's just to straining on my eyes :(
[Report This]Date: July 31 2012 8:51 AM Title: A Dream Come true
Will you continue this ?
Date: February 02 2011 8:48 PM Title: A Dream Come true
ummm.... you kinda need to uhh.... add some periods....... but nice story, seriously........
Date: March 10 2007 10:53 AM Title: A Dream Come true
Good start to a "gentle" story.
Could be even better with improved spelling and terminology. For example: "striped her clothing" is to place stripes on her clothes. I'm sure you meant "stripped her clothing" as meaning to remove her clothes. : )