Reviewer: Her-chocolatebar Signed [Report This]
Date: November 05 2016 10:00 AM Title: My Tiny Classmate

ah yes! nice to read this story once again. just as interestingly stimulating as 'twas the first time I read this.

Reviewer: mikeesan Signed [Report This]
Date: August 01 2016 2:48 AM Title: My Tiny Classmate

Would you do a sequel to this story maybe? I am so in love with it, it's the best half aware half unaware story of 2016 so far on here. Also think it's your best story. Would love to see another story like this, playing in high school, the irony of them be like "oops" and read about how digestion works, and let him be sucked into the intestine, because of some stupidiness of those teenagers, where he could hav ebeen saved totally if she had not wasted to much time.

Author's Response:

I might consider a sequil at some point. Glad you liked the story.

Reviewer: zol Signed [Report This]
Date: July 24 2016 12:47 AM Title: My Tiny Classmate

I loved this story, though your end notes made me cringe bit about this part "I have read some stories where the narrator or point of view is of the person who was eaten. To me this make no sense. If you were eaten, how can you now be telling the story?" Didn't you discusse writing in your language classes? When you begin a story, the firts thing you need to chose is the narrator and then afterwards also the tense you want to use. It's a rule of writing, that you cant switch the narrator but also cant switch the time once you chose one. It's a big mistake a lot of authors do, sadly. But back to the narrator. There are a few different ones, and the one you were actually "accidentally" reffering to, or not reffering to, is called the 3rd person narrator, the ominisent narrator or the all knowing narrator. He knows everything, he is like a ghost swelleing above every location, he knows the thoughts of every character, he also can switch to those characters and mostly do whatever "he" wants. You actually chose a 1st person narrator from the girls point of view, but you are right, in this case, you're not allowed to switch to other characters actually. I like unaware vore more than anything, and the twist of the reader wont know what horrors Dave went through makes it even a bit better, because it's so humiliating and ironic, how those girls casually talked about the event, if "nothing special happened", where in fact, poor Dave was being digested in a very nightmarish way, maybe he even was still alive when being slurped into the small intestine. Maybe he even, already haf digested, listening to them having this conversation outside:

After her mom left I said rather angrily “how can you eat knowing what happened to Dave?” 

“I’m still not sure I believe you,” Becca said through a mouthful of cookie. “But either way, I’m still hungry and at this point it doesn’t matter. Like you just read, he’s gone.”

I sighed. “Look we can’t say anything about this. You’ve got to promise.” Becca laughed. “There’s nothing to say Adie. If you want to believe that I ate him in a piece of pie, that’s your business. I never saw him and any poking I might have felt was probably just a mild stomach cramp. As far as I’m concerned, Dave just ran away one day and no one ever knew what happened to him. 

I love the style so much you put together in this story. For example the girls having no idea how digestion worked and used that child education book, and then be like oops... The irony is so great of how Dave could have been saved if the girl totally came up to her friend before, but also she mostly didn't even realize at that point what happened to him.

The humiliation is even so much better to think about, that this "nerd", I like the idea of him being some nerd, is being shrunk and digested, as a "thank you", for him helping this stupid girl, who isn't smart enough to pass basic Math.

And how Becca even complained at that part of throwing up, eww, no way I will do that I hate feeling sick, oh poor Becca... ha, that was fantastic.

And then shifting into her starting to be like, yeah, whatever, I still done believe you, what if I didn't eat him at all? And how she started to eat and be like, what? I am still hungry, and like you said/read, he's already gone, so whats the point? I LOVED THAT! That's the kind of sarcasm I like the most, fantastic done.

You're right, there doesn't need to be some evil "bitch", this story is so much better, so much more twisted, because of some "oops" moments, the poor guy who was just nice wanting to help this girl, not just was shrunk... and then, oops, the machine cant grow back stuff anymore, haha I liked that aso a lot. I could see his face literally twisting there and him thinking... wh-whWHAT this damn bitch shrunk me and how I am stuck like a bug forever!?

I also like the idea of him being alive when he would be sucked into Beccas small intestine, and meet the "sweet joy" of being digested by the small intestine. I could see him shout and scream seeing his hands being liquified and meld away, and curse out to this damn bitches, GET ME OUT OF HERE YOU ***** I Don't deservE STHI- and then some slime bubble flew into his face, and horrible gurgles from deep below ringing in his ears. And then him listening to this two girls having this coversation.

Hope to see you write more stories like this! There are so many great ideas which could work like this, I love every plot idea with some high school / college boy / brother, shrunk and hen book a one way trip through some girl, who is unaware about it. Mostly a best friend of the aware person.

Thats also my last point I wanted to tell about. Aware + unaware is the best! Where one person knows about the shrinking and one not, and the not aware person swallows him.

I also like him being 1/2" where lots of authors use too huge shrinking sizes. I would have liked it even more, if he was about 1/16" around ant size. Thats the best unware vore size.

Keep up the great writing! Hope to see way more stories from you like this one!!

Reviewer: kongoboy Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2016 7:26 PM Title: My Tiny Classmate

Hey Adeline, Another great story! really enjoyed the realistic elements to this one, and the out of no where surpise that Dave got swallowed up by an unaware Becca! I was wondering do you think you could expand on this one, By having an alternate ending, in where Becca actually does cough him up and then Days later Adie begins fantasizing about what it was like for Becca to have a living breathing boy inside her stomach, and decides she wants to find out herself, and then Dave gets swallowed for good this time?

Author's Response:

That is an interesting twist. Part of the story could be Dave telling the girls what it was like being swallowed alive. I will definately conside that. I don't think Adie would just willingly swallow Dave for the fun of it but she just might if he got her angry. In the heat of the moment we sometimes do things we regret later.

Reviewer: oishi1 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 09 2016 8:50 PM Title: My Tiny Classmate

Sorry,  forgot to rate.

Reviewer: Tiny_Traveler Signed [Report This]
Date: July 09 2016 7:48 PM Title: My Tiny Classmate

Fun story. i also like unaware vore but rarely write about it because I always like making it personal, good or bad.

On the comments in your end notes about the first person narrative, James Patterson has written a few books in which the perspective changes so it can be done.  The issue you raise about the victim telling the story is valid, but in my mind it works because we're already shrinking and growing people in these stories so I'm willing to break a few practical rules in the interest of style. 

Author's Response:

Thanks for the feedback. You have a valid point. Most of what we write, would be physically impossible. I guess I take the shrinking as a necessary plot device for the story but then try to apply as much actual science and human physiology to it as possible.