[Report This]Date: July 09 2015 2:05 AM Title: Chapter 21
I agree with all these deleted scenes. They would all seem random if left inserted into the story.
Usually experienced writers have as many deleted scenes that you have. This is incredible!
Some of the scenes were weird, but definitely entertaining to read.
Once again, great story and I look forward to your next piece of work.
[Report This]Date: July 08 2015 9:13 AM Title: Chapter 20
Refreshingly different for a debut. It was a privilege to read it. Bravo!
[Report This]Date: July 07 2015 8:58 PM Title: Chapter 20
Wow! I really appreciate you mentioning my name at the end of the chapter. Thanks!
My predictions are kinda based on the body parts each girl uses. You mentioned making them being different, so I just guessed on the things you didn't show yet.
As for the ideas and suggestions, I don't mind you using them. In fact, I would be glad if you did use them becuase it's usually the stuff that I like.
I'm in the same boat as Scott. Sometimes, you dream about someone, and then when you wake up, you look at them very differently.
The ending was very nice. Asking Haleigh out must feel good, especially when she treated him right and Scott knows how to make her feel good as well.
For your first story, this was very good and beyond expectations. Not much you need to improve on except maybe adding a bit more detail to some scenes. Some parts felt rushed.
Otherwise, you nailed it: good grammar, good spacing, likeable characters, variety of body parts, fast pace(so it's not boring), good ending, intro to characters part. And much more.
By the way, what happened to the deleted scenes? I was looking forward to that.
Anyway, great story, and I can't wait for your next one!
Author's Response:
Deleted scenes are coming soon enough!
Date: July 07 2015 1:55 AM Title: Chapter 19
I hope my review wasn't too critical. Although it was a crazy chapter, I did enjoy it.
[Report This]Date: July 07 2015 1:45 AM Title: Chapter 19
This chapter was weird/crazy, you name it. I did not expect it.
First, you gave us a warning which, in my opinion wasn't even needed becuase what Trinity and Elizabeth did seemed far worse.
The Caleb part felt like a tease, and I didn't really feel his presence, and since I'm not much of a M/m fan, it's alright for me.
What is GT material? Am I the only one who doesn't know this?
Caleb is oblivious as a elephant is to an ant.
Hmmm. I still wonder why Caleb dumped Trinity. If he is horny, and if she is horny, I thought they are a perfect match. I guess not.
The part where Trinity and Scott were becoming nice, would've been a good ending if they became boyfriend/girlfriend.
Ending scene at Maeghan's house seems suspicious. Very dream worthy. Looking up at all these girls that abused you and reliving the pain as you experience flashes of each one chasing you. Then Trinity swallows him. Yep, sounds like a nightmare to me.
The reason I say nightmare, is becuase Haleigh is not there. If she were there, this scene could've been a summary of this story, but since it's all the girls that humiliated him, I believe that it's a nightmare.
Great stuff! I can't wait to see the deleted scenes!
Author's Response:
GT is male giants.
I put the warning in either way, and I actually ended up not writing as much about Caleb as I thought.
[Report This]Date: July 06 2015 11:00 PM Title: Chapter 19
And suddenly he woke up and it was all... real, and he is about to die.
[Report This]Date: July 05 2015 9:31 PM Title: Chapter 18
No M/m, please! :-(
[Report This]Date: July 05 2015 9:17 PM Title: Chapter 18
Hmm. Boyfriend coming over.
Wonder if Trinity can use this to her advantage and have sex with Caleb while Scott is insider her. (I bet you were already planning that.)
Although it was a short chapter, I really don't mind becuase of how often you post.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: July 05 2015 6:42 AM Title: Chapter 17
Weii, I'm sincerely amazed (and relieved) that he survived Round 1 with her! So, hopefully, he will likewise be around for chapter 19.
[Report This]Date: July 04 2015 10:25 PM Title: Chapter 17
And I thought Elizabeth was cruel. Trinity just left Scott in there for about the whole day!
You are right. She shows no mercy to Scott.
I enjoy the part when Trinity asked about what the other girls did to him. Not only does it give her ideas, but it also makes Scott uneasy by remembering it. I mean, there is a reason he skipped over the details, any week like that can be mentally mind breaking.
Trinity locks up her room, and kind of locks up Scott inside her. Since Elizabeth didn't tie up Scott, I'm gonna guess that Trinity will be the one to tie him up.
I'm also assuming that Trinity lives alone, or at least will make it seem that way. I bet she doesn't want to deal with her family if they find Scott. Nah, I think Trinity is too smart to misplace Scott.
The first day with Trinity was beyond my expectations. I can't wait for day 2!
[Report This]Date: July 04 2015 12:10 PM Title: Chapter 16
RIP, Scott. :-(
[Report This]Date: July 03 2015 9:48 PM Title: Chapter 16
For some reason, I felt like Elizabeth barely had anytime with Scott.
Scott kept escaping her, and also the fast pace of the story made it seem like time has sped up.
I liked what you did with Taylor and the mother. They both had their time with Scott and did t really interfer with the story (except minimizing Scott's time with Elizabeth.)
Looking forward to Trinity!
Author's Response:
There is a solid reason why I made minimizing time with Elizabeth a priority.
Elizabeth is a sex-crazy teenager with no respect for other people. She has no intention of making Scott worship her or torturing him. She just wants sex. If the chapter was mostly her, it would be monotoned and repetitive. Apologies for the strange sequence of Elizabeth's days.
[Report This]Date: July 03 2015 9:39 PM Title: Chapter 15
Scott, you are an idiot. You should've went with the mother when you had the chance. At least she is not as cruel as Elizabeth. (Elizabeth is crueler, right?)
Taylor might accidently hurt Scott. A little too young to be a safe person to be with.
Well, with Elizabeth finding her prey, and ready to punish Scott, I cant wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I'm going to make a chapter of entirely deleted scenarios when I finish the story. I think you might get what you want in that chapter :)
Date: July 03 2015 9:29 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think I just got lucky on the timing of when these chapters are posted. Today was not one of those days. :)
Date: July 03 2015 7:26 AM Title: Chapter 15
P.S.---Hey, Tom Speedy! I beat you reviewing...for once. ;-D
[Report This]Date: July 03 2015 7:24 AM Title: Chapter 15
And, what do you want in the next chapter? For him to massage this giant cheerleader's pom-poms?*
*Lol! That joke never gets old.
[Report This]Date: July 02 2015 11:22 AM Title: Chapter 14
Tom's deductions have just given me a horrible thought. What if Lecherous Lizzie tries to wear him as a belly button bauble? :-(
[Report This]Date: July 02 2015 12:28 AM Title: Chapter 14
Hmmm. Things are really getting interesting. Scott deciding to use the night as a chance to escape, when Elizabeth is asleep.
The jewelry box seems like a bit of foreshadowing. If I can take a guess, it would be that Elizabeth will put jewelry on herself with Scott as the "jewel". Also, Scott mentioned that Elizabeth doesn't wear jewelry. Well, that may be true for the skin exposed to the outside, but I have a feeling that maybe this jewelry is for some other places, hidden from view. Also, another sign is that it is under the bed, which could mean that she is hiding it from her parents or her friends (including Scott.)
A jewelry box might look like a 5-star hotel or casino to Scott. Lots of bright, shiny objects just making him comfortable.
Then there's always the thought of the jewelry belonging to someone else. Her sister, cousin, aunt, mother, or even grandma.(hey, anything could happen.)
At least Scott is safe, for now.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
[Report This]Date: July 01 2015 4:43 PM Title: Chapter 13
So, basically, what Elizabeth forced him to do, after his brief abduction, served as a dress (or, should I say "undress?") rehearsal for what Haleigh _allowed_ him to do. But, now that this horny cheerleader "legitimately" has him, I wonder if she'll _keep_ placing him there...or stick him between her *ahem!* giant pom-poms?
[Report This]Date: July 01 2015 4:33 PM Title: Chapter 12
I agree with Tom.