Date: May 13 2015 4:52 PM Title: Paiges Room.
Very Good.
Continue
Author's Response:
Thank you. I will continue soon even though it seems some dont like my writing seems even more like it.
Date: September 17 2014 4:48 PM Title: Chapter 4
You should take a book in your hands and compare your writing style with someone who knows how to write and narrate. Stories mostly never are in simple present tense but in past tense. Also it's really bad if 99,999% of your stories sentences begin with the same word or like "person a ...", "person b...". This is more like a script but nothing like a story.
Author's Response:
Alright well thanks for the review if tried to compare my writing to other peoples writing on here and make it kind of the same style but i know i have lots of improvement to do might have to just quit posting for awhile and just practice my writing
Date: September 03 2014 4:17 PM Title: Chapter 3
I like the way that this is advancing, I cant wait for the next chapter to see what happens to the group
Author's Response:
thanks for reading the next chapter will be about the group i plan to add it soon
Date: September 03 2014 6:37 AM Title: Chapter 3
Hmm more shurnken people eh?
Author's Response:
I was thinking it would be a good way to take the story
Date: August 08 2014 4:20 PM Title: Chapter 2
Interesting so far, keep it up. :)
I'm curious to see if that box under her bed in the first chapter is going to make an appearance in the 3rd :P
Author's Response:
Thank you :) and i have a great idea for the box
Date: August 08 2014 6:57 AM Title: The beggining
I was wondering when you will continue this because I like this build up.
Date: August 04 2014 3:51 AM Title: The beggining
Like the story so far. Look forward to the the next chapter
Date: August 04 2014 1:09 AM Title: The beggining
Good start, I hope future chapters would be longer.
Author's Response:
The first chapter will still be longer, thanks for the review
Date: August 03 2014 8:59 PM Title: The beggining
Great start!! Please continue with the socked feet too!! Love unaware
Date: August 03 2014 7:25 PM Title: The beggining
im all for the unaware stories ive made a couple myself.