[Report This]Date: August 17 2014 2:09 AM Title: Chapter 1
One of the best detailed and thought out stories I have read on this site for a long time. Stories on here are getting better, and this one is one of the best. Grats
Date: August 17 2014 1:08 AM Title: Chapter 18
Cool wrap up here! I'm glad the girls apologized because I really felt Peter deserved it. Anyway it kinda sucks/is a good thing, that Peter grew back to regular size...Maybe he'll gain the power to switch sizes? Thats what it seems like anyway!
[Report This]Date: August 16 2014 7:19 PM Title: Chapter 18
It's a story that began as something that seemed cliched and corny but the twist was unexpected but it helped the story and provided an explanation for everything that happened. While the tone appeared to feel too light at times, Peter's demons added balance to it and gave a good even feel to it.
You did give hints on how despite Peter and Emily having so much fun there was pain in the former so it wasn't out of the blue.
Now how soon can you get out a sequel to " Who's Really The Bigger Person Here?" I can't wait to see what you've planned for Ben and Amy!
Author's Response:
Well I'm sad to say I won't be writing out the sequel to Who's Really The Bigger Person here for a little while. I really want to go bigger (no pun intended) on the story, make it more exciting. But I need time to plan it all out. Some of the ideas are good but if I don't plan it carefully the whole thing is just going to turn into one more fucked up sequel that ruined the story.
[Report This]Date: August 16 2014 6:57 PM Title: Chapter 18
Even though I generally don't like final chapters because they usualy mean saying goodbye to the charaters and the story, I really liked this one. Endings can make or break a story and therfore can be the hardest part of the story to write. You've managed to write a really well writen and satisfying ending. I would love to keep reading this story and see where these charaters go, yet at the same time I'm happy with how this story has ended.I gotta say you have a very good taste in music. The cover of Simple Man by Shinedown is an awesome song. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're not just a great writer of gts stories, you're over all a great writer period. Great ending to what is hands down one of my favorit stories. Can't wait for your next story.
Date: August 14 2014 4:52 PM Title: Chapter 1
Just to say I can't wait to see the sequel of " Who's Really the Bigger Person Here?"
[Report This]Date: August 14 2014 12:37 PM Title: Chapter 17
If only Robin Williams could've read this chapter.
Bravo! :-)
Date: August 13 2014 11:40 AM Title: Chapter 17
Woah! I had no idead it had tried to commit sucide before. Some very deep stuff here.
No you were not stupid for throwing magic in. I use magic in a lot of my stories.
Date: August 13 2014 5:43 AM Title: Chapter 17
I've got to say, I did not like this chapter. I was expecting something completely different to happen. I liked the build up and his suicide attempt. He has gone through some major mental trauma while being shrunken and made some very good points about how insensitive the girls were being to his situation. His suicide attempt seemed to be their fault on several levels
But you just glossed right over that. By giving him a history of depresion you ignored the very good reasons he's had to be depressed since shunken and made it seem like something that happens all the time.
I expected the girls would be the ones to apologise when he woke up. I mean do you remember what happened before the suicide attempt? They played a prank on him with a toy spider after he almost got killed by a spider!
Thats like pretending to rape a rape victem then wondering why their so upset about your joke. And now this chapter is like having said rape victem apologise for overreacting! It makes no sense!
So all in all not a fan of this chapter. I would say take out talk of depression. Don't focus the story on things that happened before he shrunk that we never saw, focus it on things that happened after, he has plenty of trauma since your story started to explain a suicide attempt. And don't put everything on him. The girls have some apologising to do too!
[Report This]Date: August 13 2014 3:58 AM Title: Chapter 1
In contrast to what I see in other reviews, I think you did an amazing job at forshadowing his depression. Granted I was reading it as more of a Manic-Major Depression illness. Your hints were no more or no less subtle than the hints you would get from a real person suffering from depression. Maybe that's why others have had a hard time picking up on the hints. Unless you've had depression or known someone who has0 or simply studied it, it can be incredibly hard for someone to notice the signs. And like I said before, you really are an amazing writer. You have the tallent to be getting paid to write. Hell your stories are so good I'd even recomend them to friends who aren't into the gts thing and have no doubt they'd still enjoy them.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your reviews, but I must be honest. My whole style of writing is one big rip off of Jim Butcher, my favorite author. At least I used his style to tell this story.
But thank you especially for understanding the subtle hints for Peter's depression. I do not have it myself but I'm very close to a friend who lives with it. On first meeting them you'd never be able to tell. So I put more thought and care into writing out a depressed character than I have with any character before.
[Report This]Date: August 13 2014 3:45 AM Title: Chapter 17
Gotta say I liked this chapter a lot more than the last one. I'm totally on board with magic as the root cause. The reason I would rank the last chapter lower is because it seemed out of place in relation to your other chapters. It almost felt like it answered too many questions to quickly. One of the reasons I've enjoyed this story so much is how every time we learn something minor we also are faced with more questions. It's the constant curriousity and the charaters who feel like real people that sucks you in.
The other reason why I'd rank this chapter higher is because it's dealing with some really major issues and you do a great job of giving a glimps of what it's like to deal with major depression. Both for the patient and those around them.
And what do you mean cheesy story lol? This has been my favorit story on this site since you started posting it. One chapter is too soon to be saying goodbye to these charaters lol. If there is only one more chapter though, i can't wait to read your next story.
Author's Response:
I guess I tried to emulate Robert Jordan. If you've ever read The Wheel of Time series Jordan amassed a dozen new questions for every one answer. But towards the end of the fourteen book series, maybe the tenth or eleventh book Brandon Sanderson (the author who took over after Jordan's death) did the exact opposite. And he did that because that's what Jordan wanted to happen. He created an entire room of maps and notes for how he wanted the series to be finished. So yeah, that's what I tried to do myself.
And thank you for taking notice of the way I addressed depression. I do not suffer from it but a very close friend of mine does. I wanted to really show what it's like, invisible. People go out of their way to hide depression so I tried my best to be subtle yet honest.
My next story might not be up for a while though. It's going to be the sequel to Who's Really The Bigger Person Here. And I'm going to take time to create a much bigger plot (no pun intended)
[Report This]Date: August 13 2014 1:42 AM Title: Chapter 1
Cheesy? Yes. Terrible? Far from it, this has been so enjoyable to read that you've nothing to feel bad about. I can't wait to read the concluding chapter in this story.
Author's Response:
Thank you Nostory, who has been encouraging me from the beginning. And you'll be happy to know that, after this I'm going to start the sequel to Who's Really The Bigger Person Here.
Date: August 13 2014 12:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
Damn it man! You made me want to cry! Stop being such a good writer! I'm kidding of corse, seriously, you are amazing, please keep writing stories, I love them, I'd even be willing to donate just so some money could go to a good cause, your brilliant story telling
Author's Response:
Hahaha. It means a lot that you're willing to pay me but I'm not doing this for money. I do this solely for ego-inflating compliments to help satisfy my narcissism.
Just kidding. I'm here because I love to stretch my imagination and write about it. But I'm not as good as you think. Check out The Dresden Files book series by Jim Butcher. You'll see I'm pretty much copying his style of writing. Only he does it a lot better than I do.
Date: August 12 2014 11:10 PM Title: Chapter 17
This wasn't too bad. One more chapter though? I hope you can wrap it up efficiently. Cause a conclusion can make or break a story. Also, do you plan to do another story after this? Cause you're one of my facourite gts authors.
Author's Response:
I'll try my best not to make it seem like deus ex machina when I wrap it up. But just in case I would like to remind you that it was explained to Peter that his returning to normal size would all depend on him completing a certain task.
As always thank you so much for your support of my writing. This piece actually meant a lot to me.
And yes, my next story will probably be the sequel to Who's Really The Bigger Person Here.
[Report This]Date: August 12 2014 10:52 PM Title: Chapter 17
Hmmm. I don't know how I feel about suicidal Peter. Maybe I missed the foreshadowing...
I still kind of feel like the girls should apologize for screwing with Peter so much because without this new information we got about why Peter was ACTUALLY depressed, I was thinking that it was the fact that hes shrunk combined with all the crazy near death stuff with spiders and such, and also the teasing from the girls that caused him to stress out and commit suicide. Basically in my mind, the girls shared some of the blame, but that was just MY interpretation before you gave us Peter's backstory.
Ahh, whatever. Overall I had fun with this story! Really! It was a good read regardless. I think this ending stuff could have been handled better (maybe clearer foreshadowing?), but overall it was a good tale! I'm looking forward to how you wrap this all up, since it looks like were at the end now!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement as well as your constructive criticism. I agree the foreshadowing could have been laid out a lot better.
I'll make sure to have an official apology in the next chapter since, now that I look at it, the girls do owe it to Peter.
[Report This]Date: August 07 2014 2:26 PM Title: Chapter 1
This thing just keeps getting better and better, I can't wait to see how the girls will act when he wakes up, keep up the fantastic work!
[Report This]Date: August 07 2014 1:01 PM Title: Chapter 16
Latin, huh? All I know is a smattering of Spanish and Italian.
Molto bene, signore! Hasta la proxima.
:-)
Date: August 07 2014 7:40 AM Title: Chapter 12
Alright, I'll admit my mistake on saying the magic came out of nowhere. I'm not here to bash you on foreshadowing, as I understand it's a hard skill to master, but the only real hint to the supernatural was the fact that his voice projects louder than it should. Objects appearing out of nowhere with no explanation do not 'hint' at anything. You even said yourself in chapter fourteen that the research was without results. I am simply putting it out there that your big magic reveal could have been better prepared for. Besides this, I'll say that I have enjoyed the other chapters a lot. Is the story any close to concluding after the big reveal?
Author's Response:
It's cool, let me try and explain myself though.
Not only did I say his voice is louder but he can't be heard by anyone outside of his friends group. This was evidenced by the fact that a complete stranger couldn't hear him yell back in the book store even though they were closer to him than Tara, who heard him clearly. Objects appearing out of thin air definitely hints at some supernatural force at work, unless you can think of something else that could hint to.
And to be perfectly honest I knew this was going to turn out to be pretty stupid. Even as I wrote the chapter out I kept picturing someone reading this and thinking: "well that sure makes a lot of fucking sense". But at this point I was already too committed to the whole magical explanation. So I decided to try and make it as entertaining of a back story as I could, incorporating history as well as legends. Maybe it's not good but hey, A for creativity.
And yes the story will be wrapping up soon.
Date: August 07 2014 4:52 AM Title: Chapter 16
Wow! I not surprised magic is the reason he got shrunk. But I never saw the roman connection. The truth about Joseph is another big surprise.
Glad to see he not dead, but can he patch things up with the girls?
Keep this story going.
Date: August 07 2014 4:19 AM Title: Chapter 16
sweet, interesting explanation. Nice to see Joseph with a major role.
Date: August 06 2014 11:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
Whelp, things hace gone off the deep end. I guess I should have expected some crazy supernarural power at work considering all that has happened up till now!
Author's Response:
Yeah I knew it was going to be stupid so I tried to drop as many hints as I could that magic was going to be involved. That way no one could accuse me of being a lazy writer that just made up some bullshit explanation because he needed an ending.