[Report This]Date: May 23 2014 6:50 AM Title: Chapter 1: You know you're in trouble when...
A lot of great potential, and so far so good! You do well at describing the unaware aspects, I'd just slightly slow down the pace to give more detailed descriptions of the giantess and her actions. Can't wait to follow this story!
Author's Response:
I'm glad you liked it so far. I'm a fan of unaware, so I guess it comes a little easy. :)
I am slowing the pacing down in the decond chapter and trying to add more details in; I'm slating it to be 7000 words up from the ~4000 words of this chapter. Although I'm already 1500 words in and not even finished with the first scene ;)
I do really appreciate the glowing review and fir critiqueing, I'm glad everyone likes my work so far :)
[Report This]Date: May 23 2014 6:46 AM Title: Chapter 1: You know you're in trouble when...
Excellent few spelling errors but not much. Keep it going slow and steady plenty of details and it be spot on.6
Author's Response:
I thought I caught most of them, but editing was never my strongest suite ;)
I'm planning on making the pacing a little slower, adding more details in in the second chapter, and slating for approximately 7000 words up from the ~4000 in this chapter.
Hope you like the next chapter too :)
[Report This]Date: May 23 2014 3:58 AM Title: Chapter 1: You know you're in trouble when...
This is really good for a first time.
However, it is a little rushed, I feel you went into the action too early when perhaps you could have built up the scene a little more.
Despite of that it's a good read and enjoyable. I like the imagery you've used and the interactions between Cassy and Adam are spot on.
Keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
It's my first time posting any of my work on here, it's not my first story involving shrinking however.
I did have a couple different ideas on the scene, but ended up going with this. However I'm writing the second chapter I'm writing a bit slower, and with more detail and unaware interactions :)
I'm slating it to be about 7000 words, up from the ~4000 of this chapter, so hopefully that should slow it down and give plenty of time for detail ;)
I also appreciate a true critique on the content and pace, Thanks!
Date: May 23 2014 3:37 AM Title: Chapter 1: You know you're in trouble when...
VERY GOOD! I Like the way it takes and how tiny he is, he seems to be way less than half an inch.Just continue I'm so impatient to see that Brandy bitch in action!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the positive review :)
Yes, he is quite tiny; Initially I was trying really hard to set a size and maintain it, but for whatever reason when I'm writing it always fluctuates. I actually make a subtle mention of it in the second chapter :)
And I'm actually not quite sure who I'm going to be introducing next to the story, I have a rough outline of what I'm going to do, but I haven't decided on Brany or Jess yet. :P
[Report This]Date: May 23 2014 12:06 AM Title: Chapter 1: You know you're in trouble when...
For a first story this is well written ,and I am enjoying it so far. I'm a big fan of anal insertion so the set up is a tease and I'm hooked. I look forward to the next chapter
Author's Response:
It really isn't my first story, but the first one I've posted on here.
However I'm glad you liked it, and yes, I would suggest you look out for the second chapter ;) Work on it is progressing a little slowy, but there's a lot planned for it and 2 pages are written already ^_^