[Report This]Date: July 01 2015 1:18 PM Title: Chapter 14 - Monstrous
Seems like Melanie is torn between her potential love for David and becoming more of a monster. I hope she decides she value's his happiness more than her desires in the end.
Author's Response:
I don't want to give away too many spoilers but I think I have dealt with the loose strands of time. What ever that theory is called where history tends to get off course from time to time, but always ends up how things are supposed to be no matter how different it tries to be, will hold true. No worries!
[Report This]Date: July 01 2015 3:08 AM Title: Chapter 14 - Monstrous
Yeah, it was a nice try to read more gts action by Melanie, you're talented anyway. But personally, I love this story because it's mainly an hymn to gts vore, the most perfect aspect of this unique fantasy.. So please, don't change that a lot :-)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I try to at least touch on everything at least once, but you're right it has one directive and I am definitely not going to change that very much at all. Thank you for your review and rest assured it won't change much at all if any! ^_^
[Report This]Date: June 23 2015 10:28 AM Title: Chapter 13 - Round One
I really like where this is heading. I'm almost unsure what Melanie will do to David. I really like the scene in which you have David in Melanie's stomach whilst digesting her other preys. So awesome!
Author's Response:
Thanks! To be completely honest, I'm not sure where what is going to happen either! My stories mostly just write themselves so I am just as on the edge as you are! :D
--HK
[Report This]Date: April 09 2015 12:36 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Morals
Really I think this is your best writing so far. I honestly don't care about Sarah. But I've read the original version, and I like the new chapters being added on.
I love how Melanie and David are in a closer relationship.
Well thanks for the chapter.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading both of my works! That must have taken some time, and I appreciate your time! Thanks for the words of encouragement as well, it is always good to hear from a fan!
Date: April 08 2015 1:50 PM Title: Chapter 12 - Morals
So, here’s the thing…if Sarah is out of the picture, it’s just David and Melanie having episodic adventures. Which is cool! But I would love to see Sarah sticking around as it could draw up some conflict between Melanie and David.
As of right now, David hasn’t been objecting to anything Melanie does (shit, I wouldn’t). David’s enthusiasm and constant encouragement were the reason why Melanie started eating people. What happens when that encouragement dries up by David telling her not to eat someone? It could go different ways: Melanie could be cool with it…or not. Melanie could grow jealous of David’s newfound relationship with Sarah – even if she’s not a love interest and just someone David pities. Or, as you alluded to in this chapter, David could – without telling Melanie – make sure that Sarah *wins* Melanie’s competition and let her live.
Hmmm…many ways to go about this…In the end, I hope you keep Sarah around. That, and have lots of vore in the next chapter :) If you want to shoot ideas to me, you can always email me. You should still have my address ;)
Author's Response:
Well then, you are absolutely correct. Thank you for your wise words as always. I wasn't entirely certain what to do next, but you've given me a few ideas that I could possibly bounce around. I was really worried at first because I am new to that kind of writing, but I am glad to see that it wasn't a complete flop. We will have to see just what happens in the upcoming chapters! Thanks again for reading and commenting! As always, much appreciated. And yes, I do somewhere! Feel free to email me as well; that goes for everybody too! Haha.
[Report This]Date: April 08 2015 9:36 AM Title: Chapter 12 - Morals
I really love this story, your writing and how you handle the subject. It's awesome everytime I see an update on this. I hope it went on for ever! I can understand every day life problems and all so I don't complain. But this story is a of a rare kind, focused so nicely on mouthplay and vore, an actual oasis among other stories.. You're doing great so far, whatever you choose that's gonna happen next, I'm with ya! Just a little hint: I like F/f..
Author's Response:
Thank you for your words of encouragement! I'm glad you're enjoying this enhancement of an almost 10 year old story!
[Report This]Date: March 05 2015 3:19 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Just Food
Wow! I still wan't to be invited out on a blind date with that princess's sweet buds of taste! haha :)
I am actually, thinking of submitting a chapter or 2 toard this wonderful story. :)
Author's Response:
If you would like I would be delighted to see what you have in mind! Just send it to my email address which you can find everywhere and I'll put it in a folder. I plan on putting something new up after I finish editing the original story so that Melanie and her fun can continue for much more time than she was given. ^^
--HK
Date: March 05 2015 1:14 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Just Food
Yes! A NEW chapter! I’m super excited to see where this newfound relationship between Sarah and David is going. How’s Melanie going to react? Will she grant a pardon to Sarah and not eat her? Will she be upset that there’s another woman in David’s life? Maybe she would be jealous… Oh man, I love this story a lot and I especially love this new potential conflict. Great job as always!
Author's Response:
I wasn't very sure how my audience would take to it, but maybe it was good! Conflic is something I've always been lacking and I'm trying to do my best to learn and fix it! Afterall, I have great plans and I need some practice before I get into the thick of it! Haha; thanks again!
--HK
[Report This]Date: March 04 2015 11:20 PM Title: Chapter 11 - Just Food
Wonderful chapter, wonderful story, wonderful series. I think it's wonderful but that's just me. Having this story be out this long, it was a shock to have a brand new chapter.
Author's Response:
And a whole new sub-plot? I'm listening to my reviews and I'm trying to make the story a better one since this is my final attempt at making it complete! Thanks again for the review and rating! ^^
--HK
[Report This]Date: December 08 2014 1:45 PM Title: Chapter 10 - The Chosen
After reading chapter one through nine, I was a bit hesitant to read chapter ten, I must admit. I mean, nothing could top what I read between chapter one and nine. Those chapters were too good. Boy was I wrong – and I’ve never been happier to be wrong. Chapter 10 was amazing.
You have a way of creating vivid scenes and powerful imagery without an insane amount of details and words. It’s such a difficult thing to master. (You know the old saying “less goes a long way”, or something like that). Seared into my mind is that image of Melanie’s first victim in the pool. The way she swallowed that little guy and kept swimming while his body went tumbling down her esophagus and into her stomach as she moved to the next victim. I’m still dazed just thinking about that.
I also love the beginning stages of David interacting with Melanie’s future victims, such as the moments he was in the dollhouse. Personally, I would like to see more of David coming out of his shell and maybe even taunting the victims. That’s just me though.
I could keep going on, but I fear I might just start babbling. I can’t get over how good this story is. I’m kicking myself for not finding it earlier, but it’s been such a great pleasure reading huge chunks in a row. See? I’m babbling now. Great story. Hope to see more from ya!
Author's Response:
Phew, I'm glad you did! Thank you for your kind words! I've always struggled with the concept of less is more, and not having enough details, you know? I guess it's the struggle we all go through as fledgling writers and aspiring authors.
You've given me cause to add more to David's interaction with her future victims. I had a bit, sure, and I've added a bit more, right, but you've given me some ideas that I was having trouble putting into words. I think we'll get to see David possibly revealing himself, possibly not. Who knows, I don't even know until I write it! I'm just as excited as you are to see just what new things I can make.
Again thank you for reading and even more so for reviewing, it sincerely helps and I appreciate it immeasurably. I hope the coming chapters can do well to live up to the hype! ^^
--HK
[Report This]Date: December 07 2014 10:51 PM Title: Chapter 10 - The Chosen
This story was good before. But it just got ten times better in the remake.
I love how you changed David and Melanie ' s relationship, to a more intimate one. And you evolved of things beside just vore. Now there is boobs, and you talk about other body features.
Thanks
Author's Response:
Thank you! I shall endeavor to add a few new things here and there and see what kind of trouble I can get these two into. Your words are very insightful, thank you for reviewing and letting me know! I wasn't sure if anybody was catching that, haha.
--HK
[Report This]Date: December 06 2014 1:02 PM Title: Chapter 09 - Shopping
!!!!!!HOLY SHIT!!!!!!
I just found this story two days ago and I’m almost speechless. This is easily my favorite story right now! It’s so fucking good on so many levels. The writing is polished and flows effortlessly between paragraphs and scenes. Melanie is a dream and fits the role of a benevolent – yet malevolent – giantess. The tiny accomplice scenario is rapidly becoming my favorite and this story encapsulates everything I like about that scenario. She’s so gentle with David, but at the same time, she teases him by placing him in her mouth and proceeds to toy with him with her tongue.
Oh, and the willing victims! Those scenes where the victims wanted to be eaten by Melanie…holy crap! I loved it. Loved it all. I’m terribly late to the party, and I see this story has gone through multiple revisions – it really shows. As I said, it’s polished and a good read. I want to give everyone who cooperated on this story a high five. I simply can’t give enough praise for this story. Sweet Jesus, I hope to see more of it. Thank you, thank you for taking the time to write this story. It’s so damn good.
Author's Response:
Wow, your words stun me! Thank you so much for your review! You are correct, this is revision 6, the final 'hurrah!' A lot of work has been put in this story over the last 8 years and I am glad that you are enjoying it! You have given me some more oomph to get these things out, so, without further ado, I give you the next chapter! ^^
Tell your friends, I don't mind an extra read or two, or even another review! I want to hear what everyone has to say and your review hit is spot on the nail. Thanks for letting me know what you liked the best, I sincerely appreciate it!
--HK
[Report This]Date: July 01 2014 9:01 PM Title: Chapter 01 - Day Zero
wow man! and another "wow"
That, was quite simply the best story I have ever found by mistake on the net! haha :)
As a totally blind reader, even my eyes were opened beyond ever before.
Tell me? does Mellony want a blind date? :)
Very well written if I may say so.
Author's Response:
Thank you! And that's only the first half of the story too! Do keep your eyes peeled for more additions, hopefully in the comming week. I'm writing a 100% totally never before seen chapter (by anyone!) right now, which is why it's taking me longer than 1 week to put out the next one. So, even more coming! And don't forget there's a whole different story, The Realm of Kendra, that takes place chronologically after this one, and that one is even longer than this one! I'll be rewriting and republishing that one in the coming months.
Melanie would love a blind date! Haha.
--HK
[Report This]Date: June 18 2014 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 08 - Going In
Well this is a blast from the past. I like some of the new interactions between the two. If they're are any, it's been a while since I read the original. I don't know what your plans are for editing, but you should try something besides vore. Though this one of the stories where vore fits.
Plus one of the first stories I started reading on this site.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I'm honoured to have been among the first for you! We all need a little nostalgia from time to time, right? There's a little bit of new content every other chapter or so, I'll try to add something a bit off topic. This story was primarily just a vore story. I guess that's just what I'm best at writing. :/ I will give it a shot and try to add some wholly new stuff! Thanks, ;)
Remember,
--HK
Date: May 27 2014 5:29 AM Title: Chapter 05 - Dollhouse
Really like the new chapter, but it seems you posted it twice in the same chapter?
Author's Response:
Thanks for the tip, I know I fixed it and it just went back and doubled itself again. I'm always having so many problems with this old website. It really needs a technology update in my opinion, :o Anyway, I hope it's fixed! Thanks again for letting me know, I'll try to check it occasionally because even though it's fine when I post it, it for some reason just decides to mess itself up randomly.
--TFK
[Report This]Date: May 24 2014 2:02 PM Title: Chapter 05 - Dollhouse
Well, the extended magic must have worked. You posted the same chapter twice, in one installment!
X-D
Seriously, though: you depicted a nice game of vore tag. Thanks for sharing this story with us. And, rest assured, I'll be lurking around, waiting for your next literary contribution. :-)
Author's Response:
Thanks! I saw that yesterday and facepalmed myself pretty hard. I fixed it, I think. Not even sure how that happened. I will get to the next chapter here in a couple of days, thanks for sticking around! ^.^ Things are only going to get more interesting in the next chapters! A lot of my readers claim the next segment is their favourite. Hopefully I can improve on it even more.
--TFK
[Report This]Date: May 08 2014 9:49 PM Title: Chapter 04 - Seafood
Well still in love with this story. One of the first story I read on this site.
It's nice with the slight changes to dialogue and detail. Always like this one better than "The Realm of Kendra." Just thought that Melanie and David made a better couple.
Author's Response:
I must agree with you, I personally like the David/Melanie couple better than the David/Kendra couple. I like TRoK for different reasons, mainly because it was better written and had an actual plotline, but each story is good in their own ways. They're definitely different stories if you completely disregard the characters and their interactions (and the whole gts/vore thing). This was my first story too, and I'm glad you like it as much as I do! I am having a blast editing it and pushing it out again for you guys. I hope I can enhance all the good memories ya'll might have from this grand story. ^.^
Thanks for the review!
--TFK
[Report This]Date: May 08 2014 1:09 PM Title: Chapter 04 - Seafood
It could also be the younger-than-average age of Melanie's latest morsels. Age thirteen is kind of controversial when it comes to victims of giantess vore. Sort of like the pedophile victims on L&O: SVU.
Author's Response:
Very true. I was going through the edits to this one and I wasn't sure how to proceed. I guess this particular chapter deals with the whole "Everyone is a target." Philosophy. Melanie tries to avoid it, get away from it, etc; but they force her hand. Of course, she could have just completely disregarded them and ignored them. Out of all of the story, this is probably my least favourite chapter. I know some folks are into it, and some folks are against it, I personally am neutral. I don't read my story for the same reasons as other folks. To me it's just a story and it covers a lot of different topics about society and what not. I left the last scene of this chapter in particularly to be full covering, but if I get a few more complaints or suggestions on how to make it better, I'll do so. It wouldn't be too difficult really. Just a rewrite of some dialogue.
Thanks again for the review!
--TFK
Date: May 05 2014 10:28 AM Title: Chapter 01 - Day Zero
I can really tell that the overall writing quality of the story so far has been improved a lot. Especially regarding the sexy scenes. This is like another sundae on top of a sundae which already had a cherry on top ;)
So yes as far as getting a fresh view on the world in addition to remembering a good story, you scored extremly well so far in my opinion. I really appreciate the extra details/aspects/mini scenes and it makes every new chapter quite exciting to read in every possible sense.
I am not really great at orienting my reviews towards writing skills, as in grammar etc, but I think I might have one important suggestion (of which you probably already gave some thought but anyway...)
SPOILER : If you are reading this story for the first time and just peeking at this review, stop reading because I am about to spoil a part of the story !
In my personnal experience, the part where Melanie gulps down david was probably the most fantastic, expected and great moment. I think as a reader you somehow get related to David from his perspective pretty closely and come to expect that moment as much as he does. As such, I definitely think this moment should be THE scene where you add as much content, details, slow motion, etc etc as possible. This is probably a very important moment of the story for most of your readers, so it would be nice to make it greater than great !
Don't get me wrong though, I already loved that moment enough to remember it very clearly, it's just that I see that part as a very good way to score as much as possible in terms of improving an already beyond awesome story !
Author's Response:
What an insightful review, thank you so much! It's always refreshing and so enlightening to hear from a long time reader. Thanks for your input on the scene, I will definitely try to pay some extra close attention to it, I might have a few ideas on how to improve it but no spoilers from me yet!
I certainly do I continue impress and never get boring! Thanks again, your review was so helpful. ^_^ Definitely my longest review yet, so exciting. :-D
[Report This]Date: May 02 2014 12:07 PM Title: Chapter 03 - Good Hunting
I'm surprised Timescribe isn't reviewing this story. He digs vore (as they used to say in the 1960's)!
Author's Response:
Perhaps he is just waiting for something a little more his element! I welcome them all, they come eventually. Haha! Thanks for the review, ^.^