Date: March 08 2014 8:52 PM Title: The Couple
Wait what just happened? Is this a backstory, telling how the two met?
Author's Response:
I think you misunderstood the idea here, this isn't an actual story arc, it's a mini-story series telling a bunch of random stories that I come up with, the two people in "The Couple" are one-shots, though they may come back if I feel like it.
Date: March 07 2014 4:38 PM Title: The Couple
It's a little jarring as there is absolutely no indication of who is speaking. A few "Nikki said"s or "Noah replied"s would be nice.
Author's Response:
Wanted to try this style of writing but I don't like it so I'll go back to a more description-based style.
Date: March 07 2014 4:18 PM Title: The Couple
I love stories set in the Gulliver world but I agree with the others that this needs description to balance out the dialogue. Right now it reads more like a play but without character names or stage directions to help us follow it.
Also, I would recommend a different title. There is another story on this site called Brobdingnagians and Lilliputians and I almost passed this one by, mistaking one for the other. Maybe you could call it Lilliputian Love or something along those lines.
Other than those issues, this is an interesting set-up. I like that the girlfriend is half Lilliputian and seems to be gentle. The mixed size resort sounds fun too.
Author's Response:
Already done, gonna bring the resort back in a later story as it's a great set-up for encounters.
Date: March 07 2014 12:58 PM Title: The Couple
I would correct the "Growth" line in your description if you can. Having Giga there threw me off in terms of scale. To put it in perspective, if the story really were between a Giga and a Lilliputian, the Lilliputian's *height* would be smaller than the *width* of a hair on the Giga, certainly to big a difference to make a meaningful story, even on this site. The actual difference in scale, while perhaps on the edge is much more believable.
Author's Response:
Already fixed, thanks for the feedback!
Date: March 07 2014 3:45 AM Title: The Couple
Use descriptions and perhaps tell us the size ratio as well. Promising story otherwise.
Author's Response:
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
Date: March 07 2014 1:06 AM Title: The Couple
The premise of your story is grand. But I feel like it could use some description to break up the dialouge some.
Author's Response:
Yeah, this is going to have mini-chapters with different styles of writing, this one, I tried having only dialogue in place of standard descriptions.
[Report This]Date: March 07 2014 12:30 AM Title: The Couple
Super awesome! I love this so far, but could we get proper measurements in the bios page? It makes it tough to imagine these scenes, also how are they communicating if the size difference is so vast? I think these little details would add a lot to this already great story!
Use this is your having trouble with the measurements:
http://www.giantessworld.net/convertor.html
Author's Response:
Yeah, probably gonna do that in a later chapter, the element is imagination is in effect right now though, this is also sort of a short story type of series just like my other one, keeps my mind creative.