[Report This]Date: January 24 2014 4:38 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
Original concept, believable characters, plot which flows out of believable interactions between believable characters, writing in the form of detailed paragraphs rather than two sentence blurbs and endless dialogue, eroticism woven into the substance of the story rather than slathered on like icing on a week old cake.
Yeah, this guy knows what he's doing.
Author's Response:
Thanks, very kind of you.
[Report This]Date: January 24 2014 4:37 PM Title: Chapter 3: Managing the Suck
A touching moment amongst the craziness.
Date: January 21 2014 2:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
I don't always leave comments(never actually) but when I do, its to tell you what a superb story you have so far. I've read thousands of stories on the web and this one is already shaping up to be possibly one of my all time favorites. Keep up the good work! I can't wait to read more.
Chip
Author's Response:
That's hugely kind of you Chip, and a big motivator for me to keep writing. Thank you.
If there's anything you're looking forward to seeing happen please let me know.
Date: January 21 2014 1:37 AM Title: Chapter 2: The Shrink Effect
I like where this is going so far. Just to point out I enjoyed her sister saying ''way to grow up'' after finding the CD. I'm looking forward to interaction between Erica and Brittany the most.
Author's Response:
I'm glad, thanks for the specific comment.
Brittany and Erica will be having a great deal of conflict as they both adjust to the new status quo.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
This story could go one of two ways. I'm kind of dissapointed you decided to go allll the way back, I would've rather you had the point where they were all shrunk and Erica began to break them, emotionally.
Anyhow, does Erica have any longstanding grudges with anyone? If she can be particularly cruel, but not enough to raise too many alarms, it'd be interesting to see the family be worried as they realize that she'll be completely in control - and how bad that might be, and how they have absolutely no means to stop it.
Anyhow, nice idea, of course I love some feets so if you can include that I'll love ya. Good start!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comment, hope you enjoy where it goes.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 12:04 AM Title: Chapter 2: The Shrink Effect
I'm greatly enjoying this one?
Author's Response:
I am happy?
Date: January 20 2014 11:49 PM Title: Chapter 2: The Shrink Effect
Nice chapter I hope the second chapter get more thing about erica and her shrinkie family speically with her brother punishment. please keep on and don't be late for the story I am eager to read it 100% like it
Author's Response:
We'll be sticking with the past for awhile but will eventually return to fully shrunk family.
[Report This]Date: January 17 2014 5:28 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
Very good start. My only suggestion is to use a bit more detail--e.g. when his brother sees his sister naked for the first time, it creates more of a sense of detail (not to mention it's sexier) if you describe a bit about what he's seeing, and some prose about how he's conflicted because it's his sister. Matter-of-factly stating that his sister is naked isn't terribly interesting. Otherwise though, this is a very promising story.
Author's Response:
That's a really helpful note, thanks. I actually did do some editing at a couple parts of chapter 1.
Date: January 17 2014 2:41 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
This is a very solid start. You've got a great hook for your beginning by throwing your readers right into the midst of your plot and initially skipping over the introductory material setting up the size-changing antics. It gives the story an atmosphere much like a concentration camp and, especially given the number of tiny people in captivity, immediately provides the story with some heavy stakes. Well done here, and keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
Thanks much, really appreciate the thoughts.
Date: January 17 2014 10:57 AM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
A good start. I look forward to maybe getting a little more background info on this world. Is shrinking common? How has society dealt with it? I noticed some references to some of the giant people having crushes on the small members, and potetial relationships being encouraged. Would those end up being somewhat "normal" relationships (as possible with the size differences), or is a pet/master relationship? Lots of potential here and many possible stories that can be told. Hopefully all this info with trickle out in future chapters!
Author's Response:
I wanted to start things up with an interesting situation rather than just give a data dump, but a lot more info about this world will be coming soon. If I leave anything unexplained just let me know and I'll fill in the blanks.
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 11:07 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
Loved, can't wait for more.
Author's Response:
Thanks! Working on chapter 2 now, your comment helped me get motivated.
Date: January 16 2014 9:20 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
This story seems pretty interesting and your the dialogue is far above average for this type of fiction. Also older brothers held captive by and reluctantly attracted to their bratty younger sisters is one of my favorite situations. Sincerely looking foward to more of this story.
Author's Response:
Yeah, aren't bratty sisters just the best?
Date: January 16 2014 9:17 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
Pretty cool stuff, It seems like Erica has really taken charge in the family. I'm still holding off my score on this, I need more to give my final say (although I'm pretty lenient and give people 5stars most of the time).
Author's Response:
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 8:23 PM Title: Chapter 1: Morning Inspection
Shifting back in time to see how it all began,... Nice set up! The next chapter will then explain more about what happened, and allow for some character development great idea....
Erica seems to be enjoying that idea of becoming an enormous giantess, Hmm, with her family members; refering to them as pets? Already? strange?
I'd like to see chapter two first, before making any suggestions about what I'd like to see happen within the story, but it looks to be quite intriging...
I'll be following along, can't wait to see how she treats her parents!
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed it, hope you enjoy where it goes.