[Report This]Date: January 23 2014 10:04 AM Title: Compression - Part 2
Oh wow, heavy stuff. There but for the grace of God could things have gone the same for Claire and Corry. It refreshing that that sibling relationship breaks the conditioning she's received.
Bad decision to let her friends in without her. I doubt every omega can look beyond the revenge instinct the way Claire has been able to. I'm extremely worried for Naomi if these friends get ahold of her.
[Report This]Date: January 23 2014 8:18 AM Title: Compression - Part 2
Damn we learn a lot this chapter.
What happened to Stephanie would fuck up anyone. I actually blame her parents more. They should have sent her to counseling. The chilling thing is that if Claire accidently killed Corey, there wouldn’t even be a body to find in most cases.
Also the chapter never said anything about Stephanie’s brother being adopted or being a step brother like Corey is to Claire, does that mean Alpha parents and give birth to a Beta child?
Don’t think I like the sound of Omega’s being extensively conditioned to care about Beta’s, it makes the whole thing less genuine if it wasn’t a fully conscious decision they made on their own, but then again since Beta’s are mite sized to Omega’s it would be hard to care about a species you can barely see. I guess Dr. Everett feels the end justifies the means. I also think Dr. Everett used to be a beta herself and that is why she feels so strongly about it.
I’m also starting to see why Dr. Everett gave Claire authority over the girls. Her conditioning would probably make everything seem black and white in regards to Alpha’s and Beta’s but it’s never like that in the real world. So far Claire has been wrong about both girls and even Marion might not be the monster she thinks she is. But I guess she’s planning to reenact what happened to her brother - three girls, one tiny.
Lastly, Melody having a crush on Corey just makes me wonder how the hell the sex life of Corey’s and Claire’s parents worked, if they even had one. I don’t think their marriage was arranged just so Claire could interact with beta’s.
Author's Response:
I'll go into the fallout of the death a little bit at a later time.
On the conditioning, it's less being conditioned to care and more them being conditioned to....well, Everett will cover that soon enough.
Date: January 23 2014 6:27 AM Title: Compression - Part 2
Great story far. Love the fact that ClaIre is so protective of her brother. Also hope to see Naomi become a better person. She really does seen to regret what she does
[Report This]Date: January 23 2014 6:18 AM Title: Compression - Part 2
Wow, I felt bad for Naomi since she is also a victim of bullying but Stephanie killed her beloved little brother by accident and she was only ten, does Claire even know how he died? It is a chilling parallel since Stephanie is an Alpha and she killed her Beta brother by accident, then Corey could have been easily killed by Claire at any time. Inhaled, swallowed, sat on , stepped on, you name it.
Claire really needs to help her , she is in true need of help, more than Naomi. Shocking how two of Marion's pals are such tortured souls, makes me wonder if Marion is as broken or even more broken than the two of them put together.
As for Claire, I don't think she should let Jenna and Melody have a go at Marion, she has to be the one as the other two may go too far and injure or kill her by accident which is something they wouldn't want. She needs to be in control , no control and she is no better than a sadist.
Interesting details about the Omegas, seems each and every one of them is conditioned to look after and care for Betas, the Institute seems to that drill into them and I wonder if Claire was deliberately paired with Corey to make sure she has some real life experience in caring for a Beta, which would help with improving their roles as protectors and law enforcers. And if Omegas are not natural, can a person be born as one after the first ones came out and if not, why make little children like Claire Omegas? Easier to mould their minds?
Oh and Dr.Everett reborn as an Omega? Seems Omegas are not natural, ex-Beta or ex-Alpha in order to keep Betas safe.
So last thing, I think it is cute that Melody has a crush on Corey and Claire, I might be falling more and more in love with her but she needs to realise a person's file does not tell you everything about them, she was proven wrong twice with Naomi and Stephanie, there might be more to Marion than she thinks so call off your friends girl!
Author's Response:
Gonne be mostly tight-lipped about a lot of this.
I will say that no, there is no behind-the-scenes reason for why Claire and Corey became part of the same family. Their parents fell in love and that's that.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 4:43 PM Title: Imprisonment
Ackbar, such a cool story you have going on here. As you yourself mentioned earlier, you clearly have a talent for world-building. The Omega/Alpha/Beta planet that these characters reside in seems very well fleshed out, thanks to the great details and hints that you drop here and there. The little details you include, such as the mention of Dr. Everett, have me thinking that you've got this story plotted out far in advance of where we are, and I'm excited to see where it all leads.
The only part of the story that seemed a little weak to me was Claire's age and relative maturity. Given the enormous size difference between her and her brother, I find that my suspension of disbelief is severely tested when I imagine the implications of their living together for so many years without any mishaps. It would be so mind-bogglingly easy for her to do some real damage in a fight or an argument or whatever, especially at a younger age, when she had to have been more impulsive. Not to mention that she's also apparently in charge of rehabilitating violent criminals (even if they are a fraction of her size) at such a young age. While the story doesn't specify exactly how old she is, if her brother is graduating medical school, and going by the national average age of a medical school graduate, she'd have to be ~24. I guess my point is, it's tough for me to believe that such a pretty young thing would also be so poised, mature, etc. and for such an extended period time, while also having such huge responsibilities heaped upon her. On the other hand, I think that this can be easily fixed by dropping more hints like you did earlier in the story: "Junior Grade Enforcer with Aegis," etc. If you could somehow emphasize how rigid self-control had been drilled into her from a young age (Jedi knight style or whatever), I think it would improve your story quite a bit.
As it is now, it's still a fantastic story, that I'm very much looking forward to following it.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comments.
I do have more planned. Once I get through the upcoming interludes I'm probably going to start branching out into some other stuff in the universe, in particular an origin story of sorts and I have a pretty good idea of a story I want to do afterward that takes place after this one.
I understand your problems with Claire's age, and I honestly put a large amount of thought into the issue when I was going over the details. She's actually younger than you estimated, and is 20 (Corey is 24, going into his last year of medschool due to an accelerated curriculum in this universe for Betas). My ultimate decision stemmed from my own personal writing preferences: I enjoy writing about powerful, exceptional people who are capable of extraordinary amounts of self-control and empathy. It's a concept I find myself fascinated with, both in this and my own personal writing.
That said, expect a glimpse at what went into her raising next chapter. I'll just say that Omega schooling is not a place of sunshine and happiness when it comes to the curriculum taught.
[Report This]Date: January 21 2014 1:25 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
I'm liking this story. You've done a terrific job in capturing these characters. Also glad your getting to the foot scenes, lol.
aaron
Date: January 20 2014 8:36 PM Title: Compression - Part 1
I really like your story, and I can't wait for the updates as they come along. Hope to see this story finished!
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it. I'm certainly motivated to progress on it.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 5:40 PM Title: Compression - Part 1
So the Omegas can shrink things as well?! Seems like any time I feel like I have a handle on their capabilities I get thrown for a loop. My natural inclination is that this ability must be somewhat limited, otherwise why not just shrink offenders to Beta sized.
Claire will probably be a tough one mostly because of this acceptance that it’s alright for Claire to treat her like she’s nothing, just like it’s okay for Stephanie to treat Betas like their nothing. Still there was a crack in the demeanor when the subject of the beta that died came up. I’m assuming she escaped punishment either because it was an accident, or she was just too young. Will be interesting to gain some details, even if they’re not dropped immediately.
Author's Response:
Hahahahahah~
I'd expect details sooner rather than later on it.
Date: January 20 2014 4:01 PM Title: Compression - Part 1
This is going good. Put in some sex and insertion and this will be the best story.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 11:02 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
I had Stephanie pegged as a psychopath due to her lack of empathy. Seems like her flat affect is the result of a traumatic incident in her childhood. Her lack of caring is in fact a defense mechanism.
This makes the eye for an eye discipline a little more troubling. Someone like Stephanie should also be getting some counseling. I don't know if Claire is up for that or not. Interesting that Stephanie doesn't see herself as a hypocrite. Are Omegas hypocritical for punishing Alphas in the same way that they don't want Alphas treating Betas? (Especially if the eating Alphas who ate Betas part is true. Kind of like spanking a child for hitting their sibling.) -pardon this analysis, it's just my educational background in developmental psychology spilling out.
On the subject of Omegas, compression shrinking is a new ability. I assume the mass remains the same to make her proportionally more durable for the ride?
Author's Response:
I'll just say that Stephanie (and Naomi) are very, very lucky they were transferred over to Claire's custody. You are not off the mark on the "eye for an eye" issue. I will say, since it's not really a spoiler or anything, that Omegas do not go out looking for Alphas to harm. They're a purely reactive force when it comes to them.
That is a good assumption.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 9:59 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
I think Stephanie's views will change soon and this is just the first session.
How often is Claire going to visit her brother in this story? Chapter 4 had so much emotion and chemistry.
That I think should be visited again a couple of times, depending on how long your planning on making this story.
Author's Response:
There will be more between them, but it will probably be a while. I have a bit more I want to do, and then I'm going to skip forward a bit in time so Corey can actually be mobile and open up a lot more options for interaction.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 7:46 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
Compression is an apt name for this chapter and it probably references whatever Claire did to shrink Stephanie. I don’t think that shrinking process is perfect or even allowed outside disciplinary action. I can see how that could be abused otherwise. I also wonder if that’s Claire’s natural ability or some technology allows her to do that.
Stephanie seems to subscribe to the typical giantess size based Darwinism where the small should be at the whim of the large and that’s just the way things are even if she’s the small one compared to Claire. Whatever she did eight years ago seems to have heavily influenced why she has that way of thinking.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 4:25 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
Wait, how? Omegas can shrink people? If they can do that, why not grow Betas to be equal in size to Alphas and reduce the chances of incidents like this from happening? Would that not make things better?
Stephanie is well...she killed someone and I would love to know what transpired eight years ago and if she will feel any remorse for killing that Beta. She clearly looks down on Betas and can't even fathom how a god like being like Claire can think of Corey as an equal but I hope Claire can induce a change in her.
Even so, I think Marion will fall the farthest and hardest, nothing Naomi or Stephanie receives will compare to her.
I think I am falling in love with Claire, loving sister, soccer star, so beautiful and loving and she doesn't seem to buy into the whole "being bigger means I can do whatever I want to you" belief that Stephanie and Marions believes in.
Author's Response:
Hahah, I've been waiting for this chapter to show this off.
As some later commenters have surmised, it's not a perfect process on either end. Everett will answer why the Betas aren't enlarged a few chapters from now, and it's a position that mirrors my own stance on the hypothetical matter.
I'm looking forward to developing Stephanie further.
I would not bet against you on Marion.
[Report This]Date: January 20 2014 3:18 AM Title: Compression - Part 1
I thoroughly enjoy your balancing act between sweet loving and vindictive angel of punishment Claire.
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it. It's a fun coin to keep flipping.
[Report This]Date: January 18 2014 8:25 AM Title: Power
Just read this and I'm enjoying it a great deal. Well done.
aaron
Date: January 17 2014 5:19 AM Title: Imprisonment
I just feel so compelled to write another one even though you haven't updated, got some questions to ask.
Claire has mentioned she hates the size disparity but so far, she has largely benefitted from it. Take away the obvious con that is having her brother severely beaten by the Alpha girls, she has on more than one occasion succeeded due to her status as being the largest of the large.
She was able to straighten out her Beta brother, who is probably the size of a small ant to her after she caught him coming home despite him being underage and it really helped him, he was on his way to graduating top of his class and being a doctor before the attack and their relationship is no worse for wear after that.
Secondly, she was able to stop the attack when she caught them because she is an Omega and her size advantage paid off here.
Also, she has the three girls in her custody, they were of equal size would it have happened? She now has her chance to dish out as much payback as she wants or is permitted to?
Is there something else at work here? Did she or Corey have her heart broken by some Beta/Alpha guy or girl? You say she realised in her teenage years that her being so large and her brother being so small was unfair, is there a particular event that shaped her views on the size difference and will we get to know about it?
Also, I suspect that only a small percentage of the population are Omegas with the vast majority( say 95% being either an Alpha or Beta), something just tells me so.
And lastly, Naomi.
I don't think she is pathetic but she needs help, Marion has warped her too much and as a guy who got bullied quite a bit in his younger days, I understand how she feels. Perhaps if all three parties, the three being Claire, Corey and Naomi are ready, Naomi could have a chat with Corey, face to face. She is also a victim but of course, she needs to pay for her actions but I feel for her, hopefully she gets through this with minimal fuss.
And once more to the cute sibling pair, I think Corey is lucky to have such a loving sister like Claire, she did not become some domineering sibling who forces her views on him, she definitely followed her mother's advice to support him instead of just making him an extension of herself, did she ever have a crush on her step brother?
It has worked, he gets to be independent while her lecture to him has put him on the right track without her having to constantly interfere and even if he does screw up, I doubt she will leap in immediately to remedy the situation or baby him.
I look forward to more interaction between the two, hope I am not repeating myself too much!
You defintely have a fan here! Hope you can answer all of my queries, if not most of what you can or want to answer!
Author's Response:
Feel free to comment whenever, I enjoy reading and responding.
Claire definitely benefits from her stature, and she does enjoy those benefits. Her resentment comes from the fact that she essentially has to double and then triple check everything she does when it comes to interacting with Corey (or any Beta, really). Just look at chapter 4 again: An innocent joke on her part ended up scaring the shit out of Corey, because she got too caught up in their sniping and didn't take into account his added vulnerability. The height disparity between the two essentially presents a constant reinforcement that she is better and that he is nothing. Corey even innocently notes this in chap. 4 as well when he compares her to a goddess that allows him to exist. The only reason he's able to deal with that is because Claire herself puts in the work to reinforce the idea that he is not her inferior just because he's so much smaller.
I'll eventually cover a little of what goes into the development of every Omega's worldview. Expect a pretty big part of it in the Interlude afte I finish up with Stephanie and Marion.
Naomi is on the right path. So far she's made the two best decisions she could have made after getting herself into this situation: She sincerely apologized for what she did, and she took up Claire's offer to answer some questions.
I wouldn't say Claire had a crush. There was definitely a bit of hero worship from her growing up though. She respects a lot of the things about him, and growing up she generally considered him a model of how she should conduct herself as a person. It's why she got so mad when he tarnished that image through his underage drinking.
Date: January 17 2014 2:10 AM Title: Power
Great chapter! The mouthplay/torture scene was fantastically sexy but I like that you also balanced it with character development and a slightly more friendly moment between Claire and Naomi. I continue to enjoy Claire's character and the whole philosophy behind the Omegas.
Was the story about former punishments true or just meant to scare her? If the former, it seems like there's been some serious revision to the Omega program.
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 10:56 PM Title: Power
I love Claire and Naomi's demographic.
Very well written.
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 5:03 PM Title: Power
I felt this was going to be a make or break chapter for me as I’m not the biggest fan of the humiliation/torture genre, but while the punishment was the predominant focus there was a substantial amount of character development with both Carrie and Naomi.
Naomi’s explanation not only explained her focus in the attack, but also put a focus on why such an otherwise sweet girl would be friends with Marion anyway. That Carrie’s focus is to help rehabilitate Naomi and help her realize that she was her own person added so much to that scene.
Carrie’s own development was just as sweet and tied into Naomi’s problem so well. It’s good to see that the Omega’s aren’t perfect, that even though they have the best of intentions they can still be lead astray.
I really have to commend you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a good relationship, with such an insane size disparity as Carrie and Corey. Would love to see more insight on their history going forward.
Now comes the hard part, Naomi being the only one who voiced a desire to reform can Carrie keep her composure with the other two.
Author's Response:
I am actually 100% sympathetic to your first statement. I am really not comfortable with humilitation/torture stuff the majority of the time (and generally prefer a more gentle teasing), but the concept for this showed up in my head and I wanted to run with it.
Expect Claire's story to be a running theme with the Omegas moving forward.
And definitely expect more of them, even if I have to do a few one-offs separate from this one.
As I said to Kazuma, Claire is at least willing to give them a fair shot while leaving them plenty of rope to hang themselves. It's up to them as to how she conducts herself, though the fact that they haven't shown any remorse or given even a token apology is not working well for them.
Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
[Report This]Date: January 16 2014 4:47 PM Title: Power
Man you know you got a great GTS story when smut and storytelling elements are interwoven so effortlessly that it feels natural in the story. I really enjoy your writing style Ackbar.
Claire is already one of my favorite GTS ladies thanks to this chapter. Her view point is so refreshing and I enjoy her relationship with her brother. As for Naomi, well she is pretty pathetic, but I hope she can become a better person from this. I also hope Claire can keep her emotions in check dealing with the other two girls.
My guess from what Claire said is that the Omega’s and Alpha’s went to war or had some kind of conflict in the past and the Omega’s won. I do wonder if the Alpha’s are normal sized and Beta’s are small or if there is more to that.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Glad you're enjoying it still!
I'll say that Claire is perfectly willing to give them a fair shot. She's also perfectly willing to give them plenty of rope to hang themselves with.
And man, I really can't wait to introduce Dr. Everett just to see how it effects discussion.