Date: February 14 2014 11:17 AM Title: Imprisonment
Love me some gentle gts moments, I really enjoy the scenes with Corey the most. I hope you make a relationship between Melody and Corey. You're a very good writer, and I hope to see more chapters with Melody and Corey together ;).
Date: February 14 2014 9:50 AM Title: Realize - Part 1
I’m neutral on the justice system but I do want to know just how bad beta’s had it before Omega’s showed up. If it’s as bad as I think it is then I imagine Alpha’s didn’t even go to jail for killing beta’s before the Omega’s showed up.
Also look at it this way: At least Marion isn’t wasting tax payer dollars being Claire’s custody. The girl deserves years in jail.
Author's Response:
If you want a little hint at this I'll go ahead and tell you that I've been doing research on Auschwitz as I plan out the origin story.
Date: February 14 2014 9:38 AM Title: Imprisonment
It would seem to be that way, Melody knows she will outlive Corey even if he dies of old age, so Omegas are practically gods here. They seem to age at the same rate as kids but I suspect if they do live longer then an Omega ages at a much slower rate than a Beta.
The justice system doesn't sit well me, there is always some part of it that makes me uncomfortable, it might be due to the fact that I prefer gentle to the more violent types of gts stories.
[Report This]Date: February 14 2014 9:21 AM Title: Realize - Part 1
Bit by bit, more of the world trickles out. So then are Omegas much longer lived than Betas? Any hope for a happy life between Melody and Correy now seems doomed to end in tragedy.
So Beta society is relatively new. I hope Correy isn't ready to give up, to turn his life over to Omegas like all those years ago. And I hope the girls are ready to encourage him to continue to follow his dreams if that's the case.
The punishment system continues to be worrisome. It's something of the justice system they deserve, but as with Stephanie, maybe not the one they need at this point. In my head, Ashley's antics were probably not done in malice and maybe even with initial consent of the beta. Basically just kids being stupid. I picture one of the other girls stumbling upon them and overreacting given the cultural sensitivity of the situation. It's sad to hear about her pleading with her sister, possibly to try and explain it, while the three continue for "her own good."
Author's Response:
I wouldn't say it must end in tragedy. If they enjoy what time they have together, and Melody can carry the memories of their time together with her long after he passes, is it really tragedy?
I'll go ahead and say that the little short story I mentioned at the end of the previous chapter will cover Ashley's experience, so you'll get answers on that.
[Report This]Date: February 14 2014 7:06 AM Title: Realize - Part 1
I see Corey has had some time to think about how close he was to dying. It’s easy to feel sorry for Naomi and Stephanie but the Corey chapters put some things back into perspective a bit.
I think Corey knows that Melody has a crush on him. It’s hard to hide feelings on a face that large :p
I’m still wondering how a relationship between Omega’s are Beta’s work. A genuine relationship between two characters with that much of a size discrepancy is not common so I’m interested to see how you make it work.
Also, this chapter confirmed or at least partially confirmed two things for me:
That Omega’s are either long lived or that Beta’s are short lived. If Omega’s are long lived then the first generation Omega’s could have arose a few decades ago.
And that Beta’s really didn’t have a society before the Omega’s if Corey is part of the first generation to actually go to a university.
Lol it’s like trying to piece together a puzzle with how you throw in little snippets of information at us.
Author's Response:
Yeah, I had to have him realize and react to the fact that he nearly died eventually, and this seemed like a good point for it.
He may have been aware of the little crush, but not aware of what it has developed into over the years. We'll see~
On how it works, I'll just point to Melody's thoughts on the matter: It's the person that matters to her, and she very clearly wants to spend as much time as she can with the person Corey is.
Date: February 14 2014 3:25 AM Title: Realize - Part 1
So my suspicions are right, Melody has got quite the crush on him and it never really died down, only gotten stronger over the years. I can feel her pain, having to administer justice to her own Alpha sister. I wonder if she would dare tell Corey about her feelings for him or does he already know?
It is easier when the Alpha is someone you have no emotional attachment with but your own family? It must have destroyed her just to even consider it. Also, there must have been Alphas who don't try to go out of their way to make life hell for Betas, they can't all be pure evil.
I have a question, not related but if you don't mind answering it, it would make me very happy if you could help me with it. Is there a way of making different font styles show up on this website?
Author's Response:
Well, there's still part 2 :)
There are certainly Alphas who are perfectly decent and even incredibly supportive of the Betas. I'll say that Melody and Ashley's father easily falls into the latter description, simply by virtue of being married to an Omega woman. There are also the Alpha agents of Aegis that were mentioned in the first part of Place, and obviously Stephanie's mother is fine with them. It's mostly just that, for the purposes of this story, we're mostly seeing the Alphas that slip up.
I wish I could be of help in regards to your question, but I have no idea. I just cut and paste out of openoffice.
Date: February 13 2014 12:46 AM Title: Place - Part 2
Wow this is incredible. Really well done
Date: February 12 2014 10:28 PM Title: Place - Part 2
That chapter very much WAS enjoyable! I loved the double cross and the irony of Marion's own words being used against her to determine her punishment. And the vore scene was very sexy/horrifying just as it should be. I have to wonder if Marion will be changed by this experience and see the correlation between how she treats Betas and how she's been treated by the Omegas. Given what a self-centered, spoiled bitch she seems to be though, that seems unlikely.
Very curious to learn more about Dr. Everett and what rules or sanctions are in place to keep the Omegas from being corrupted. Power does tend to go to some people's heads after all.
[Report This]Date: February 11 2014 4:15 PM Title: Place - Part 2
Marion truly is a detestable thing. I’m usually into the more gentle side of the genre, but have to admit a sense of cathartic pleasure seeing her suffer. I’m interested to see what, if anything, can really be done for her. Once you get it into your head that everything you do is blessed by God, and anything against you is against his will short of religious epiphany is there any way to change?
On the debate I don’t think it’s a thin line between Marion and the Omegas at least not with the information that’s been presented. Marion maims, kills, and manipulates, because ‘she can’ and it makes her feel good, we haven’t seen anything from the Omegas on that level of pointless violence. Of course Marion is an extremely poor example because she’s terrible to Alphas as well. Even if Betas didn’t exist she would be a waste of oxygen. Probably the better comparison would be Omegas to Alphas before the Omegas arrived.
While there’s certainly the danger that Omegas could abuse their power, and really that’s a danger in any setting with dramatic size differences, so far there’s been no evidence that Omegas interfere in any way that doesn’t concern the abuse of Betas. There is also at least some accountability here as evidence needs to presented, and approval of punishment has to be granted before anything is carried out. There’s nothing to suggest they’re plucking up Alphas on suspicion and just dealing punishments on a whim. Given that Marion got away with murder twice before finally being caught I would say the Omegas are for the most part hands off without proper leads or evidence.
I don’t think they especially get off on torturing Alphas either. We know there are mixed couplings, and Claire has pointed out they (or at least she) would prefer rehabilitation to resorting to fear or death. There are even built in ways to reduce sentences.
Author's Response:
Don't want to say too much on Marion, but I appreciate hearing your thoughts on her. As I've remarked to you before, I'm also usually into the more gentle side of the genre, but I enjoy the prospects for catharsis that this concept brings by virtue of "the victim" being a legitimately bad, toxic person. I've found I mind the cruelty and humiliation a lot less when it happens to a character like Marion.
[Report This]Date: February 11 2014 3:31 AM Title: Place - Part 2
You've crafted an amazing story with engaging characters and very eloquently crafted plot turns.
I look forward to reading more wherever it goes.
Author's Response:
Thank you. I'm hoping I can keep it up.
Date: February 11 2014 12:16 AM Title: Place - Part 2
@Nostory and Pkong
I believe that Omega’s already crossed the line when they had to use force originally to make the Alpha’s accept the Beta’s as people. If we go with what Claire said to Naomi in chapter 5 about Omega’s eating Alpha’s in the early days. It makes it seem like beta mistreatment was so widespread before the Omega’s showed up that force was the only option back then. So far the story hasn’t told us how long Aegis has been around or if beta’s had a civilization before the Omega’s showed up.
There is too little information to go on to make anything but speculation regarding the Omega’s influence around the world. All we know is that they’re incredibly advanced, they have their own set of laws, and that they might originally be Beta’s or Alpha’s that were transformed by some process. We also know that Alpha’s can aid Aegis when the need arises. And finally that Omega’s are a huge source of humanitarian aid for betas.
Omega’s haven’t been shown doing anything evil or mistreating Alpha’s for fun unlike Marion who can kill two people and get away with it Scott free.
So the difference between Omega's and Marion is that one is trying to help a lesser race despite said race being the size of mites to them even if their methods are shady and unclear and the other have no problem maniplating Alpha's and Beta's to her own ends
Date: February 11 2014 12:15 AM Title: Imprisonment
Oh yes, oh yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Hahaha, I have to say, Melody and I are exactly alike so far. XD I was hoping that she would take the money but not follow through on the bribe, like I would have done, and she did. Plus she's unable to go through with physically hurting others, even when punishing them, but doesn't seem to mind manipulating them. Haha, Marion just majority screwed herself over. Not that I'm surprised that she did. She's far too entitled, and has never been knocked off her high horse thanks to daddy. Glad to see she's getting a dose of reality.
I do share the concerns of the others though. I believe Claire stated before that Omegas naturally want to protect and care for Betas, and they generally are supposed to enjoy punishing Alphas. So what is there to prevent an Omega from going too far and turning into a giant version of Marion, or deciding the only way to protect Betas is to wipe out all Alphas?
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed Melody's little ruse.
As for what exists to make sure an Omega doesn't turn into Marion...
Well, there's Kayla Everett.
[Report This]Date: February 11 2014 12:03 AM Title: Place - Part 2
Great emotion. I officially hate Marion, which you achieved in your writing. And Melody is tricky. I couldn't believe it at first till I remember her huge crush on Corey.
Really looking forward for next chapter.
Author's Response:
Thank you, I appreciate the remarks :)
Date: February 10 2014 11:38 PM Title: Imprisonment
I have to agree with you @pkong, there is a really fine line between Alphas like Marion and the Omegas who are ALSO using their size to police the country with little restrictions, this is a pretty dangerous situation as all the Omegas could effectively create a dictatorship where they treat Alphas and Betas with no regard to their well being. What makes them better than the people they are punishing?
Dr. Everett might not be very different from the people she fought against in the first place, if she didn't start out that way she might end up like them.
Date: February 10 2014 11:17 PM Title: Place - Part 2
You know, while I don't like Marion for obvious reasons, I'm finding myself not liking the Omega's much either. I mean it sounds like they have no authority to do what they do other than size. They are an organization that does what they want when they want all because they are bigger and all they do is terrorize Alphas
Granted they do it on behalf of betas, but it seems like their police like nature is really just a sham for tyrants who make their own laws and ignore ones they don't like.
In that way, how are Omega's different than Marion? They may not say it but they do believe in place as much as Marion does. They believe it is their place and god given right to punish alphas whenever they feel like it however they feel like it. They are total hypocrites.
Author's Response:
As Kazuma and Kusanagi commented on, we haven't seen any violent action from and Omega toward an Alpha that has not committed a crime against a Beta.
Yes, they do wield a lot of power, and are immune from standard law, but Melody and Claire both make it known that they are held accountable for the things they do.
As far as "whenever they feel like it and however they feel like it" goes, Kusanagi noted that there are mechanisms in place that can dramatically reduce those punishments if taken advantage of. You should also note Melody's remark about Marion's session particulars being in compliance with the disciplinary plan for an A-Class offense: In this case, an assault that was seconds away from being murder. Not all crimes against Betas result in the same acceptable level of punishment.
I do appreciate hearing your thoughts, though, and I thank you for them.
[Report This]Date: February 10 2014 11:00 PM Title: Place - Part 2
Dat twist
Dat reveal
Dat sense of absolute dread and foreboding when Marion knew she was fucked.
Dat getting eaten alive
Dat "No"
…This chapter… THIS chapter!
I have nothing else to say. This was even better than the vet scene in the original Titan in how it made me feel.
Awesome work.
Author's Response:
That's all that needs to be said for me to be happy with this review.
The vet scene is one of my favorite scenes in a story, so it is a comparison I am extremely pleased with. I'm glad you liked it.
[Report This]Date: February 10 2014 10:25 PM Title: Place - Part 2
Yikes , eaten alive! So Omegas run the country or are they a separate society of their own? With their own rules? Good twist,it was not exactly hinted at but Melody hadn't said she would help at all. Marion probably deserves it and I think a few chapters with Corey and the three girls would be nice, a light break from the darkness and sombre tone of thr previous few chapters.
What a story! Good time to be on this site with your story, the Titan series, Splinter's Edge all being actively updated, I feel as though we are in a golden age of GTS stories! I'd add my own but I place no value in self-praise and besides, I think the best is yet to come!
Author's Response:
There will definitely be some cooldown time coming up for several chapters.
Thank you for the high praise, as the Titan series is one of my favorites on here.
[Report This]Date: February 07 2014 6:57 AM Title: Imprisonment
Okay, I need to post a detailed review or at least as detailed I can make it.
Firstly, there is a darkness in Marion that has made her enslave Naomi and exploit Stephanie's childhood trauma, she is truly a work of evil but I will see if like the other two girls, there is something tragic that lurks beneath the evil, giving it strength.
I am not surprised after reading about how her father has bailed her out before is now doing the same, it has enboldened her, allowed her to think she can do whatever she wants, that she is above the law with such a wealthy and powerful father that he is now trying to bribe Melody into making sure that Marion gets an easier time that, that is really something.
Now as for Melody, you've not mentioned anything else other than she was offered a bribe by Marion's father; I assumed you were implying that Melody had accepted but she has not rejected it nor has she accepted so it is still up in the air.
I would be very shocked if Melody did accept for two reasons:
1. She is friends with both Corey the victim and Claire who is in charge of the three girls and based on what you mentioned about Melody's job, it sounds like she outranks Claire, which makes sense since Claire seemed to finish bottom of her class so she probably was the latest to start her career protecting Betas.
This higher rank would mean that she could rein in Claire but I doubt it will happen.
This personal connection is probably going to override the bribe itself, she would not go against Claire when the three need to be punished for hurting Corey.
2. It was stated that she might still have a crush on Corey, the thought of her being able to even consider allowing his chief attacker to get off lightly when she still might have feelings for the little guy.
It would be shocking to see her accept but having said that, it would make for a very engaging story; Claire is trying her best to discipline the three girls but she has to deal with Jenna who may go too far and then there's Melody, the one who is sabotaging her efforts by restricting her attempts to deal with Marion; riveting story if it goes this way.
I am surprised that there are no Omegas who share Marion's views but applying it to include Alphas as well, there has to be at least one.
Lastly, it seems that Omegas are already assigned jobs since Claire and gang are younger than Corey and already have jobs despite not even being 21 so their careers seem to be decided for them; the largest race may not have much in the way of freedom if this is how it goes and their life in the Institute can't be too easy either based on earlier chapters.
Keep up the good work.
Date: February 06 2014 6:07 PM Title: Place - Part 1
I didn't think Marion could get any more unlikable, but yeah she kind of did...I have no idea how your ever going to redeem this character or if that's even possible but I dont envy having to write an arc for this character! And is she really disgusted at the fact that Omegas dont abuse their 'godgiven' powers like she has done with betas!? Also, it seems that Omegas arent as perfect as they seem. Really interesting story you got here, Id like for more information on the outside world but its not too necessary. Great work with this, looking forward to future updates.
[Report This]Date: February 06 2014 4:31 PM Title: Place - Part 1
Wow didn't think Marion could look worse after the previous chapters but wow. I don't know if there's anything for the Omegas to work with except fear. The only Beta she remotely liked she didn't have much issue crushing his skull.
Not usually one for torture but Marion has it coming.