[Report This]Date: July 06 2014 8:35 AM Title: Fun time
Yes, pretty good writing seeing the experience from both perspectives.
Need a little more description of feelings, smells, sounds, tastes, etc.
[Report This]Date: July 04 2014 11:54 AM Title: Fun time
Excellent transitions from boobs to insertion to ass. Very smooth writing and entertaining.
You also have great cliff hangers.
[Report This]Date: January 13 2014 6:08 PM Title: The Meeting
I am glad you are writing it is always nice to see new writers as always work on improving (:
[Report This]Date: January 05 2014 7:53 AM Title: Man's Best Friend
This is a nice start. You do a good job of keeping the unaware angle light and playful. There are some spelling/grammar mistakes around that might be worth cleaning up, and sometimes the verb tenses don't match up, but overall this is a decent way to jump into your tale. Keep it up.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! I'll keep that in mind as I go forward and try to improve!
Date: January 04 2014 6:59 PM Title: The Meeting
Really good story so far... Keep going!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I appreciate it! Love the username btw!
[Report This]Date: January 04 2014 3:10 PM Title: The Meeting
This looks really promising, especially the tags Insertion, Toilet, Unaware and Butt, in combination of size micro though I had liked nano much more (for example 1/8"). Keep writing, you have proper spelling, grammer, and text flow.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'll have to consider nano for next time!
[Report This]Date: January 04 2014 11:20 AM Title: The Meeting
Not bad for a first story has small details that could be improved on.but we pick those up as as we go I would like to see more (:
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! I appreciate it! More to come!