[Report This]Date: September 02 2013 8:16 PM Title: Chapter 1
Whoa,...wait a minute! First, let me say that, I didn't say that your word's were "unexceptable", I think that you just write it as it comes,...and sometimes that works out great, if your lucky and it happens to be a good day. Although, most times it needs to be edited just a bit, ya' know? Didn't mean to offend you, I was just giving you my unbiased opinion...
I would love it, if you'd do the same for me,..and by the way, sorry that I forgot to rate, I didn't realize that I'd forgotten intill today!
Author's Response:
Lol i was not offended Wildcatman i tried to give an expalnation to your comments,please don't think other wise i welcome any remarks and helpful ways to improve my writing skills i must admit i am lazy when writing.I immerse myself in the story but unfortunatley i forget to write what i am dreaming about lol i am a bit dizzy at times.
As for doing it you why it would be my pleasure to tease/torment and finally send you below to my toilet bowl to be flushed away forever i would forget about you but am sure your family and friends would have some memories to cherish,mine would be the satisfaction of eating you alive hehe ..
Amanda xxxx
Sorry if i offended you xxxxxx
Date: August 30 2013 4:41 AM Title: Chapter 1
Some of your sentence's need to be broken-down with comma's, they seem squished together. Like two different thoughts combined, it seems a bit confusing at times throughout the paragraphs...
The Idea is great! Your style is very suspensful, a fantastic opening chapter too. Although, the thought of being so quickly consumed after just being reduced in physical size is a bit depressing though, I would hope that the women would actually keep them as test subjects, studing them for at least a week or two, before ultimately devouring them alive...
Maybe, after the initial 'thrill' of their acomplishment wears-off a little, the women can slow down, and really enjoy their 'meal's'? ;`)
Author's Response:
Mmm lets re-evaluate your assumptions....if you repeatedly do something it then becomes a menial task to us all don't you think?..after all going to the toilet to me is boring unless i have a reason to enjoy the experience. as for a story being suspenceful surely it is in the eys of the reader not the writer i only place a vision of the events into your minds eye.it is you who fills the gaps to enable your phallus to be stimulated by the words.
My grammer is unimportant the fact that you have spent the time reading the words obviously shows me that you have taken the time to digest the story thus give your detrimemtal comments, this is enough for me to know that your interested in being eaten alive by me at some stage in your futile existence is a turn on.
I write for myself not for the opinions of others if my words are unexceptable then please read the comic book stories readily available on this forum.
Amanda xxxxxx