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Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 27 2013 8:10 PM Title: Chapter 1

Not a bad start. But, please, please, PLEASE...separate the dialogue from the narrative text! I ask this as someone who was initially guilty of it, myself. It will put less strain on your readers' eyes if there is some kind of double-spacing between the narrative paragraphs and the direct quotes of the characters.

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