[Report This]Date: May 16 2017 7:29 PM Title: Chapter 1
its so fucking hot but yet so fucking dark ill give it a 3
[Report This]Date: December 07 2012 2:53 PM Title: Chapter 1
It went from accident, innocent fun, to cruel sexy - a solid transistion with a brother/sister piece but would have loved some more detail or story. Wouldn't fault you for the length, but I am greedy to hear more from you so I'll express it :) Nice story!
Date: November 03 2012 3:32 PM Title: Chapter 1
i liked it to a point, but in saying that, the characters about mid way through just were not that believable to me
Date: November 01 2012 4:08 PM Title: Chapter 1
Good story. Just wish it could have been longer.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2012 2:10 PM Title: Chapter 1
An altogether decent tale. You have believable dialogue and you don't jump into the action before establishing some reputations with your characters. The technical bits are in good order as well with no noticeable errors. I'd like to see the descriptions expounded upon a bit more so that your reader can "feel" what's going on, but that's a small complaint considering this is just a first attempt. Good work.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2012 1:09 PM Title: Chapter 1
Loved it , just wish you would of stretched it out a bit. Amazing work!
[Report This]Date: November 01 2012 11:59 AM Title: Chapter 1
nice story but wish u wouldve put some more senario's into it but nice story none the less