Reviewer: deanwild Signed [Report This]
Date: October 28 2017 3:49 AM Title: Flip Flops

Hi , Loved the story very much. 

Just wanted to ask if you are still righting stories and would you be open to ideas for a new one. i love your style of telling the story and would like to read more from you. 

Reviewer: Casanova Signed [Report This]
Date: September 18 2013 11:35 AM Title: Flip Flops

Microjames, what you have here is the golden ratio between smut vs. story. You have solid character development with Derrick, a seemingly accomplished kid who still comes off as a bit uptight. He happens to have a foot fetish, and you've woven that in nicely such that you can take your time with characters and settings without rushing headlong into the shrinking parts of the story. Not an easy thing to do. Your use of the admittedly trite dream sequence was timely and well-executed, and I liked the foot massage deal with Karen -- the fact that she seemed on the verge of figuring out Derrick's sequence really heightened the tension. On top of that, your descriptions -- the smells, sensations, etc. -- are really evocative. Lastly, it doesn't hurt that you have a talent for excellent dialogue -- the conversations between your characters are extremely lifelike.

I usually try to give some criticism, but there's not a whole lot for me to complain about. I think you used "wreak" in place of "reek" one time, but that was one of just a few inconsequential grammatical errors. Another thing: I like how you play out the micro perspective by keeping the scene as purposefully vague and ambiguous as possible. You refer to things as "structures" and "arches" without really telling the reader what's going on, which in turn helps the reader truly feel the micro perspective. I guess my advice would be to caution you from going overboard with that, and instead have Derrick figure out where he is a little sooner rather than later, just so that the reader won't be left in the dark for too long. Then again, that's an area where you can just use your artistic license, as both styles are useful and there's certainly no right answer.

Overall, this is a very nice story you have going. I'm really hoping you continue it, especially because it has some of my favorite genres involved: heavy feet with a chance of toilet! Please post more chapters soon.

P.S. Not to advertise myself here, but I think you'd really like a story that I wrote a while back called "Flushed." It, too, involves a foot-fetishist who ends up in a pile of shit, so to speak, although the story definitely has a different personality from yours (much shorter, not unaware, not micro). Also "The Greatest Plans" by Tokubetsu has a lot of the same themes as well. Sorry about the random plug, I guess I'm just excited about the genres being put out recently.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the well thought out and constructive review.  I definitely need to revise a few grammatical errors, and I'll take your thoughts to heart in terms of elaborating on the character's surroundings more clearly.  My original intent was to give the reader a sense of bewilderment that I believe one would actually feel at such a size, but I agree it may be a bit too much.  Again, thanks so much for the review.

Reviewer: rubber Signed [Report This]
Date: March 18 2012 9:42 AM Title: Nylons

awesome story so far

Reviewer: aaron Signed [Report This]
Date: March 16 2012 3:19 PM Title: Nylons

This story is turning out great. Hope that there is more to come.

aaron

Reviewer: ZeR0x Signed [Report This]
Date: March 15 2012 4:52 PM Title: Flip Flops

Dude. This story is incredible, please continue, I'm sure lots of people such as myself are eagerly awaiting your next installment.

 

And if I may shamelessly offer advice, don't rush it, you're doing a great job at the pace you've set.

Reviewer: Lolwat111 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14 2012 9:26 AM Title: Flip Flops

İ am just wondering the guy size because i am interested at shrunken man being a speck..Actualy i like smaller.İ just dont understand 1 inch stories or grain of sand.And from the keys the writer gave to us made me think he is goinv to be speck sized.That is why i asked dood,chill please.

Reviewer: Jay Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14 2012 9:03 AM Title: Flip Flops

I'm really intrigued by this story. You have managed to write good descriptiions of the characters and scenery.  More importantly, and what makes these sorts of stories stand out from one another, is the excellent way you describe the sense of humilation and utter helplessness that the main character feels at these women's feet in a dream-state.  Letting the the woman's feet become characters in their own right adds so much depth to a story like this, and you seem more than able to do that.  I also like the possibility that the first pair of feet he learns to fear may be those of his big sister. Maybe a foot massage is in exchange for her buying the little weakling booze?

Reviewer: Lolwat111 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14 2012 7:54 AM Title: Flip Flops

Thank you a lot for adding the next chapter today.Gonna checj and comment just after :)

Reviewer: alexbobay32 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13 2012 3:11 PM Title: Flip Flops

Great start, I am really looking forward to more.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review!  I'll try to keep it up!