Reviewer: v00d002001 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 20 2011 3:57 PM Title: Chapter 1

Good story, love that Jen is into feet, very sexy! Watch the spelling though, if you go back and read it you will see some mistakes, i.e. chapter 3 'she moved herself she she was holding onto the big toe'. Watch the timeline as well, it seems the days are very short, they wake up, have a bath, lick each other and have some foot fun, then go to bed! Maybe they could do something else rather than just licking each other, taking baths and sleeping! Maybe go shopping, or meet some of Tanya's friends, or siblings/family (would be sexy if she had a cute little sister)!? Can't wait until Jen becomes a full fairy though, and the tables get turned, that's going to be super sexy! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response:

thanks for the ideas, I will put some of these in soon, also I was planning on having a younger sister come in at some point soon ^^

Reviewer: ZeR0x Signed [Report This]
Date: October 26 2011 3:09 PM Title: Chapter 1

Very good! As someone mentioned before, maybe some parts were a little too straightforward, but awesome story so far!

Reviewer: aaron Signed [Report This]
Date: October 23 2011 10:36 PM Title: Chapter 3

great chapter. glad to see that youve continued with it.


aaron

Reviewer: F_G_F Signed [Report This]
Date: October 20 2011 10:27 PM Title: Chapter 1

Good effort to use past tense, though you are still mixing in present tense as well.  Ultimately it's your story, so write the way you feel most confident.  It's a good sign that you can take recommendations and try to put them to use, so keep up the good work.

As for the story itself, it gets interesting.  I'll continue to follow it and hope that you'll provide us with regular updates!

Reviewer: dr_joe Signed [Report This]
Date: October 20 2011 1:24 PM Title: Chapter 1

I like where this is going. You have some interesing things in your mind, I can tell. It feels like you are eager to share with us, and that's a good thing. However, it is working a bit against you as well. As some already pointed out, you go from zero to 60 in less than a second in the first chapter. Tease us a bit, build up anticipation, exitement, and it will be an even more excellent story than it already is.

Reviewer: F_G_F Signed [Report This]
Date: October 19 2011 4:30 PM Title: Chapter 1

Not a bad concept, but one thing you should consider is that writing in present tense is a challenging thing that few writers can pull off without frustrating the readers.  

Not a bad concept, but I would suggest changing the verb tense to make it a little easier to read.  

Reviewer: kingsun Signed [Report This]
Date: October 19 2011 2:27 PM Title: Chapter 1

I liked the setting, and i like the touch of gentleness and playfullness....i would rather have that than a dominating attitude...also, if your imagination leans toward this, please have lots and lots of feet play scenes... :) Nice work there! :)