So, this is solely off the first chapter. But it seems like this is gearing up to be an enjoyable ride. My biggest liking to this so far is the lean and easy to follow nature of it. Though perhaps it does lack description at times.

I will say that grammar and punctuation wise I am seeing a bit too much commas in places where they sometimes don’t belong. Such as in the first 2 paragraphs. Not to mention formatting issues. Though they seem largely fixed by the next chapter (having skimmed it.) 

Another minor complaint I have is the use of brackets here. They seem to employ a tell not show situation to the story. (E.g Vee’s signature pose being “cool” is told to us, rather than anything describing it, or a metaphor likening it to something else or even inner monologue from the character telling us it’s her signature pose and that it’s cool. ) I feel like there are better ways to do these specific details which could leave your being more interesting. 

So far I have a few complaints, but it’s a good beginning.