Reviewer: Divediveburners Signed [Report This]
Date: May 24 2022 12:50 AM Title: A new perspective

You've got some really explicit, descriptive scenarios portrayed here. The giantess is portrayed as playfully diabolical. Some of your best scenes were your descriptions of her rather cutesy reactions to each of her kills. However, she does not appear to be some hedonistic brute, but possesses a sense of honor, or at least guile, if she wishes to escape. It's an interesting scenario that has been set up.

Everything is portrayed rather straightforward, which is nice for some quick, clean storytelling. That being said, I believe some deeper characterization, particularly on Frank and Tom, would have been sufficient. There is also a tendency to tell of the relationships and thoughts/conflicts of the characters instead of demonstrating them.

For example, the most recent scene, where Tom is about to be swallowed, all that needs to be known is the appearance of the interior of her mouth, the sight, the smells, then Tom's scream. All from that, we get that he's terrified. It doesn't need to be spelled out explicitly, because it has been implicitly described.

One scene where you do demonstrate conflict without telling of it, is when the giantess saves Tom twice. This gives us a good idea of her code, and perhaps hints that she isn't simply a cruel creature.

Overall, because of the mystery behind the giantess character, I'm interested. However, I believe properly fleshing out Tom, Frank, and later, the Mage would be instrumental in making this a compelling tale. But that being said, it's a spirited effort for your first try.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for your detailed comment! I really appreciate your honesty and the will to help. I am glad my story was able to spark your interest! I will try my best to improve.