Date: March 27 2023 3:58 PM Title: A Hero's Epic Beginning
I really hope it can continue, cause there just aren’t enough attempts at a size Isekai.
Theres exploring the magic system and trying to exploit it, learning about thats out there and discovering more. On top of the size interactions.
Author's Response:
I definitely plan to continue. Chapter 2 will be the next thing I put out, which will hopefully be soon. I have an outline for it in my head. I definitely do want to think a lot more about the magic system and work on character relationships as our group grows. If you have any particular ideas for the magic system I'd love to hear them.
Date: May 17 2022 11:48 AM Title: A Hero's Epic Beginning
Alright, great beginning structure wise. A lighthearted isekai adventure is something many will flock towards as it’s just interesting and leaves a lot of ideas to be explored or used.
Our protagonists morals are always a nice to thing to have in these stories too, as they can form nice layers of defence for allowing readers to assess his actions.
Now that being said, this is a nice start but could use some refining (keep in mind its only my opinion though.) I think you are switching between first person perspective to third person omnipresent. Which confuses the readers a bit, maybe use italics for one tense and normal writing for the other. It just needs to be clearer.
Another thing, Description needs work. Not enough showing or painting a scene and too much telling the audience. E.g Yes, telling us the lady is pretty is cool, but some more given to describe her and let the reader come to that conclusion would make it a stronger point.
Just needs more practice I think. But that’s my own interpretation there.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much. Your comment helped me remember that when I copy and paste all the Italics become non-Italicized and I have to re-Italicize. This an issue I have with this website. I am a HUGE fan of Italicizing thoughts. Oh boy, I just fixed that. Thank you so much. I'll remember to check the formatting after I upload to make sure this doesn't happen again.
Yeah, I struggle with either going all in on description or all in on dialogue. I need to find a better balance on that. I added a couple of lines in the second part and I'm going to keep working on how to add a proper mix of description and dialogue.
Date: May 17 2022 9:19 AM Title: A Hero's Epic Beginning
Wow. Not only was this good, have potential,and has a giant kind woman, but it's satire!? I think you might have found a winning combination. Not to mention it's surprisingly... Epic may be too strong of a word, but it's close
Author's Response:
Thank you. I definitely will be poking fun at a lot of anime tropes. I love anime and isekais but there are some tropes that I think deserve some jesting at. The source of any good satire is a genuine love for the what is being satirized and I assure you I genuinely love anime. No clue when the next chapter will be out, but eventually.