Reviewer: Milla Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2022 1:33 AM Title: Pedal to the Metal (part 1)

The way you wrote this story so far shows me how you're a master with words. I even got me thinking if we're dealing with a professional writer (are you that?)

Really, I even am using some parts of your text to study: my English is self-taught and, if you already read some of my stories, you probably saw how it goes more simple most of the time.

Now, the idea behind the story is interesting, and despite feeling initially confused about Dylan having to use himself as part replacement, later on the story I understood better and even found it sort of funny. Now I'm just waiting for Melissa's revenge, as Alexia didn't hold back against poor Dylan lol.

I didn't understand, though, how Dylan got still moving and relatively fine after losing so much blood and having some ribs broken... is him a superhero? Most guys in his place would've screamed the heck out of the situation and passed out hahaha. Still, funny thing in this story, how he ended up all broken and fragile before Melissa while the later promised revenge >:)

The only thing I didn't enjoyed THAT much was the pace on the first chapter (on the second chapter I enjoyed the pace way more), but it surely doesn't say that your story is bad, nor makes your story deserve less stars or something, as "pace" is something very personal and most guys out there must have loved it.

Divediveburners, Thetinyclam, please continue this story! Now I wanna see what will be of Melissa, Dylan and the giantess coworkers.

Also, Serena is a cutie! I loved that character! Do you guys plan on doing something more with her?

Author's Response:

Dang Milla, that's some high praise for the writing! Hopefully you use the better passages. I (Divediveburners, don't know if coauthors allows differentiation) had read some of your stories. I enjoyed the police tale, where the woman pretends to eat the man. That being said, I've never written professionally, although I have written a lot before on fanfiction.net.

I wasn't aware that I had portrayed Dylan as having lost much blood, or even getting that many broken bones. I recall he broke his nose and a few ribs, painful to be sure. I probably should have had him pass out, its my new favorite way to transition out of a scene.

As for the pace, that is a shame. I would be interested (probably better in DMs) which specific scenes you thought were paced improperly. You can't please everyone, but you should aim to at least please someone with a story.

This was originally planned as a oneshot, basically with a lot of feet scenes and footware. As for continuation, that will be up for further discussion. I had this placed in the same universe as my other story, "Smells Like Marriage", and much like that, chapters will be added as inspiration arrives, either to Tinyclam or to me. To be honest, I never knew Serena would make an impression on people, so initially, there weren't any additional plans for her character. That may change.