Reviewer: Storyreader21 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 19 2024 3:44 PM Title: Chapter 22

Nice. That ending combined with the last sentence of the second to last paragraph really interests me. Hope it happens. 

Author's Response:

well if that happened then the story would be over so probably not. but maybe other mouthplay stuff!

Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: July 17 2023 4:39 PM Title: Chapter 20 & 21

First, let me say I loved the development of Mikayla and Mason’s relationship on chapters 15 through 17. Really master work.

More than teasing, I would say Skye and Mikayla are getting bolder with their teasing. This could mean they are only having fun – like Nicole think it is – but we, as audience, know there is a lot of tension left in the air.

Nicole’s question for Skye was spot on: why was Skye acting like that? She went to great lengths to assert her dominance over him in front of Annabelle, not shying away from body innuendos – becoming mad Mason didn’t fell shows that that was her plan with the teasing.

Mikayla wasn’t so overt in public, but was veri determined when stating Annabelle was being nice to Mason, yes, but only só she could get some extra money. It’s to say that, outside the family, Mason is just a tool.

She voiced a strong belief everyone in his family holds since chapter 1 – and that is Mason can’t exist outside, it’s unthinkable. He either belongs with Mikayla or with Skye.

Now, the story made it clear none of them wants to see Mason hurt. So, how would each react if someone actually hurt him? Just some food for thought: what if some tiny from Beyview uses Skye fascination to abuse her and
Mason stands up to her, gets in a fight and ends up really hurt?

How would Skye rampage over Bayview looking for Mason and that scum?

What if Annabelle ends up hurting him after? Physically and emotionally, what would Mikayla do them?

I would like to see those scenarios/arcs.

I really wanted to comment earlier but just couldn’t find the opportunity. Also, I wanted to see where the story and the family dynamic would go before reviewing again.

Your writing is very engage, so much so I want to start reading your other stories – don’t know when since work and other life issues keep popping up - but I will!

Thanks for sharing your work on the site. Really, it’s amazing and I am always happy to see an update from you!

Author's Response:

great analysis, and thank you very much for the thorough review! i'll keep some of that in mind for the future!

Reviewer: Mr in A suit Signed [Report This]
Date: April 11 2022 8:28 AM Title: Chapter 6

I love stories revolving around Family dynamics. We saw some of Skye inner thoughts in ch. 5 and I hope we can see more development on that. And, after ch. 6, I can’t wait to see how Mikayla will react and Interact with Mason outside.

Although I very much want to speculate on where Mason’s wishes and loongings will lead and how his sisters and mother will react if they ever become aware of it, you said you already have until chapter 11 ready. So I will wait.

Good story, even better characters. Added you and Mason to my favorites.  Two questions though: is the story already complete? Do you have a post schedule?

Also, sorry for any misspelling. Although I am fluent in english, it is not my primary language.

Author's Response:

the story is commissioned by someone and they have a long term arc for the characters in mind. not sure how long it'll take to get there, thats up to the client! so no the story isnt complete and i dont know how long itll be. post schedule is like 1 or 2 chapters a month

Reviewer: brett533 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 11 2022 3:09 PM Title: Chapter 3 & 4

cant wait for more expecially descriptive insertion

Author's Response:

no insertion planned anytime soon 😅 but further in the story maybe!

Reviewer: Storyreader21 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 05 2022 8:05 PM Title: Chapter 2

Nice. I hope Mason decides to get out of the house by sneaking into Skye's school bag, especially if she doesn't know, and he gets lost at her school without her knowledge. Especially if it takes a couple days to be found.

Author's Response:

i'll pass that idea off to the client and see what they think!

Reviewer: Dawger2 Signed [Report This]
Date: December 21 2021 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 1

Cool! Another story to look forward to. And it has two sisters in it!

Author's Response:

lmao yeah, two sisters. glad you're looking forward to it tho, thanks for the review!