Date: September 04 2021 5:18 AM Title: Chapter 8
I noticed you have not been posting as frequently as you have been. Allow me to say any criticism I remarked about your writing was simply about your grammer or confusion relating to who is saying what {Try reading Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" or William Golding's "Lord of the Flies", who the heck is saying what? Yet they are literary classics}. All that is just grammer based confusion.
Your story content is exceptional, bar none.
The concept of Morgan cutting off limbs, leaving Jim effectively a worm or a grub before Allison and Sam is a fantastic GIANTESS / shrunken relationship. It really hits home with those that see women as Above and Bigger than themselves; basically as an insect before her greatness.
You are hitting on all the right cylinders with this story. Please do not abadone it just because a few of us quiped in the comments section. Write as your heart delights.
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Date: August 29 2021 8:03 PM Title: Chapter 1
As I have written in the past I LOVE this story. I liked the introduction of Sam too. The only issue that I have is that this is getting a bit too violent with the discussion of amputating Jim/Steve's limbs. How can Allison be that mean to go along with this?
I vote for a last minute repreive with Morgan either enlarging the dildo a bit with magic or they trick him into shrinking again so he will fit inside. Maybe the threat of amputation will convince him to voluntarily shrink himself. I think if he ends up as an amputee in a dildo then the story is pretty much over. Hope you don't mind the comments just my honest opinion.
[Report This]Date: August 28 2021 11:48 AM Title: Chapter 1
Wow, so fucked up but I'm loving where this is going. Maybe they could use him without the capsule too, you know, bareback. Just something to consider. Also, as much as I enjoy their cruelty so far, I hope it evolves as he does. Girls tend to find little helpless things cute. I could only imagine how humiliated he would feel if that turns out to be the case once he's de-limbed.
Date: August 28 2021 2:46 AM Title: Chapter 8
Another great chapter; but you have to slow down and proofread your work. You accidentally mixed up names {as you did at the very end of the last chapter}.
Fantastic story line regardless. Allison's conversion from sympathetic to vindictive is wonderful.
Can not wait for Sam to buttplug "Steve". Really, that's like the cherry on the sundae of this story so far.
The only real change I would consider, of course not part of your established story, is that there are microscopic airholes in the plastic dome for him to smell where he is at inside of any woman {of particular interest whether in Allison's pussy or Sam's asshole}. Perhaps, in remembrance to Jim under the clear planter, a small hole at the very tip
You wrote about the women walking Roxy around town with Jim on her back. This sounds like an incredible oppurtunity to showplace public disgace and humility with female dominance and indifference towards a horrible man. I am hoping you write about this public walk of shame in detail.
Can't wait for your next chapter.
Date: August 26 2021 3:25 AM Title: Chapter 7
This is my honest opinion, and it goes along with what I was trying to say {after too much bourbon} in my last reply. Your writing is incredible.
Grammatically you still need to define your paragraphs better. By that I mean do not end a paragraph by "Morgan said", then not writing what she said. Then the next paragraph begins with "Al, you should .....".
Paragraphs convey a subject. If Morgan says something, what she says should be conveyed in that paragraph {over simplification}. They should not be separate paragraphs, one part of the subject ending the first paragraph then followed up in the next.
That's my complaint.
What I can not get over is my praise, because you are a fantastic and creative writer.
When it comes to the physical decsriptions, such as Jim in the bug cage, you absolutely "nail it" as to what it must be like for Jim living in the bug cage. Little room to move, can not reach the lid, scrunched up on the floor; you wrote masterfully about Jim's predicament. You also did so with Jim's experience riding Roxy around the backyard. Your depictions are top notch.
Beyond that, you have successfully developed four individual personalities. Morgan, Allison, Sam, and Jim all come across as four people with different personas and expectations.
In my humble opinion, you are one of the best and creative writers I have read in quite some time, at least regarding shrunking fantasies. I think you are better at this than you give yourself credit for.
I am curious, and do not expect a responce concerning this; but perhaps you could be so kind as to review some of my stories and give your opinion of them when ever you have some spare time. I think it would be interesting to hear how you both judge them and would change them. Just a thought.
I have an idea what's in the third box; and can not wait to read about it.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the nice words & dialog/grammer tips. I do appreciate it--when I said this was my first story, I meant ever, not just on this site. I appreciate it.
I did read some of your stories and liked them. I think Tomgirl was my favorite. We clearly enjoy many of the same themes.
By the way, I was surprised to hear I'd somehow accidentlly cut short the dildo description...THere *are* scent vents' at the base of the cone & as well as a simple explanation of oxygen supply. There is also a case and an alternative cone Tom included that I think you may like.
Date: August 25 2021 4:40 AM Title: Chapter 6
Normally I wait between chapters to reply, however your last responce compeles me to relate a bit of advice another writer once told me.
When it comes to fantasy {as oposed to non-fiction} you have to write for yourself. Will you get 1,000,000,000,000,000 followers? No, but you will be able to express yourself to those, even if only a few, who share your interests, which is must more realistic.
After all, isn't it those, even if few in number, you are trying to connect with. Even if no one, not one single person connects with you; aren't you still voicing yourself regardless?
Write for yourself, and always remember in non-fiction the only audience is ultamitely yourself.
BTW, I love the bug cage. Especially with the handle, that is amazing. {You might want to consider an image of the bug cage included in the story, along with images of the next two unknown items. It would add to the story but not infringe upon copywrites if you just note them as not associated}.
Again, with fiction write for yourself, as opposed to non-fiction write for your audience. Let loose, go wild, and above all HAVE FUN.
Date: August 24 2021 5:41 PM Title: Chapter 1
I was iffy on the concept so I put off reading this. Now I wish I had been along for the ride from the start. Real good stuff, can't wait to see more.
Date: August 24 2021 3:47 AM Title: Chapter 6
I have to admit, this is one of the best ongoing stories I have read in a while.
I also have to admit I just started two stories structured upon this particular story. I shall have to confess aspiration of those stories based upon your story.
You simply left so many possibilities open that this terrific story has endless possibilities. KUDOS!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the nice words, DW. If I'm being honest I probably wouldn't have uploaded anything beyond chapter one without your encouragement. I've been a reader of this site forever but my kind of stories seem like such a niche inside a niche inside a niche....I knew nothing I write could get popular but I just did it as an experiment on the off chance SOMEBODY liked similar themes. If at least a few people enjoy it I might keep it going. I have a mountain of ideas for where this one could go as well as how it could become a series, as well as totally different story ideas too. No idea if I'll ever write any of it down but for now, with this one, I think I have at least a few more chapters in me. So, thanks again. Chapter 7 in a few days.
[Report This]Date: August 24 2021 3:43 AM Title: Chapter 6
I believe the chapters get replaced. That's what I heard on this website's discord server.
Also, loving the frequent updates. Haven't seen much punishment lately. Mostly, it's been discussions between the ladies on what to do with Jim. Hopefully Sam and Morgan put forth those ideas soon.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
You're not wrong, but things are about to get a LOT worse for poor Jim starting now. Thanks for the nice words.
Date: August 20 2021 2:27 AM Title: Chapter 5
What a great story, especially the dranw out shrinking. Can't wait to read about Jim's next retribution.
Date: August 18 2021 5:37 PM Title: Chapter 1
I LOVE this story! Humiliation and great character tension and chemistry is so hard to get right and you just mail it. All the little touches like Morgan whistling the oompah loompah song to further tease him are so spot on. Can't wait to read more!!
Date: August 14 2021 2:38 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great premise and story. I really enjoyed it and I can't wait to find out what Allison whispered as well as Jim's fate. I was thinking that Allison and Morgan would just have dinner and she wouldn't stop his shrinking to the next day when we has only a few inches tall but now with your chapter 2 ending who know what will happen. Please post chapter 3 soon! Thanks.
Date: August 14 2021 1:21 AM Title: Chapter 2
Very nice! What a great story. The way you drew out Jim's guilt was done masterfully, as was Allison's awakening / conversion to the thruth about Jim not loving her.
Can't wait to find out just how small Allison now "desires" Jim to be.
Also of note, Morgan's indifference to the ongoing situation knowing that she was right, well done.
[Report This]Date: August 12 2021 9:28 PM Title: Chapter 2
I really love the setup to this story.
Its simple, easy to understand, and somewhat funny how Jim can't seem to cum from a 15min blowjob. Lol.
I'm really curious what Allison said to Morgan at the end. Hopefully it's something about keeping Jim small.
Now I could imagine Allison using Jim as a sex toy and Jim is disgusted by the whole thing and now that he's small, he can't do anything about it.
Well, I can't wait for the next chapter!
Date: August 12 2021 12:46 PM Title: Chapter 1
Thanks, good feedback. Was my first story, I can see your point. Second chapter soon.
Date: August 12 2021 3:48 AM Title: Chapter 1
Great story and very interesting concept. Can't wait to read more.
Only gripe, your paragraph structure overlaps different subjects and commentors, making it a bit odd to follow who is saying what. One can still read through it; but better deligniations between who is saying what would be helpful.
Beyond that, a really good story full of lots of possibilities. Please continue.