Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: October 05 2024 8:21 AM Title: Chapter 23 - Forgiveness

 I was really hyped for this, and you didn't disappoint!

I love how Emily's first reaction is to be worried that Jordan is at school. It makes perfectly clear how much she cares about him, just in case anyone still had lingering doubts. She wasn't just loneliness that made her want to keep Jordan; It was having Jordan specifically close to her that made her want to keep him. Yeah, her loneliness was clearly a factor, but I don't think she would have done what she did if it had been some random tiny person she had in a cage She probably would have helped them right away, no questions asked. So yeah, I though her reaction here fit her character extremely well!

Jordan having Alice put him in the palm of Emily's hand was a fucking power move! There's no way to better show that you trust and forgive someone than that, putting yourself at their mercy (okay, Alice was there to jump in if anything went wrong, but still!) and displaying confidence that they won't take advantage of it. And Emily responds by actually turning out to be the vulnerable one here! Hand trembling, voice almost a whisper. The hesitancy in her dialogue here. Despite literally being in the palm of Emily's hand, Jordan is the one in control here. That this was her response to Jordan being there leaves no doubt of her remorse for her actions.

I thought Alice might empathize with Emily's loneliness, and it was beautiful to see. All of Alice's hostility toward Emily up to this point set her up for this sweet moment here, where she tells Emily that she deserves another chance. And Emily's reaction is heartbreaking. She doesn't deserve friends? Holy shit, that's sad to hear her say. Alice saying it's going to take some time for her to fully trust Emily makes a lot of sense, and I was glad that Alice didn't let her totally off the hook just like that, but man, it was a nice moment to see Alice comforting her like she did at the end of the segment.

“Well, at least give me some points for originality here. I mean, I didn’t end up in one of those generic scenarios where the tiny gets separated from a friend and then found by some random stranger, now did I?”

Oof! you got me here! Ha!

I have to be honest, I didn't think the water nozzle was going to come up again. I was sure Jordan was taking that to the grave! But he slipped up, and I love how that was a unifying moment for Alice and Emily. When Emily grabbed him from the back of the shirt, I was a bit worried that Alice was going to overreact and snatch Jordan from her, but I love how they teamed up on him instead. The visual of him hanging there in front of their faces as they playfully coax the story out of him is a great one, too! Not only that, but I love how Jordan doesn't actually seem the least bit uncomfortable hanging from Emily's fingertips. This conversation played out like three regular-sized friends walking down the hall, two of them teasing the third until he "spilled the beans."

I liked their reaction to the story, too. The horror on their faces showed that they deeply empathized with Jordan, but they had to laugh at the absurdity of it, too. And, of course, now that Alice is feeling that relief and not scared for him, she's going to bring this up again in the future. I also love how Emily knew exactly what he was talking about when he mentioned that look from Maria.

The emphasis that Emily is part of the group now at the very end was a good way to end the chapter. I was so happy for Emily that she finally found friends and that they were already bonding so much. What a wonderful closing thought.

Author's Response:

I really wanted Emily to show that she felt remorseful for what she did, but not only that. The fact that she thinks she doesn't deserve friends and that she's a terrible person, she had a lot of pent up feelings that caused her to distance herself from people at school, but now she finally has two friends willing to get her out of that hole. I also didn't want Alice to just trust her right away, it'll probably come up somewhere again, maybe between a private moment or for a story scenario where Alice has to depend on Emily for something.

Hahaha, listen no, that dialogue wasn't a slight on you there! It's just a very common scenario that happens at school in stories so I had to make fun of it in general (I had these chapters finished several days ago so it wasnt a recent addition, I swear). And while you used that scenario too, you did something cool with it. I guess if I went through with something like that, I would have used Brynne for that in the way you used Ada there. :)

Oh, Jordan definitely messed up on accidentally letting the nozzle bit slip, that was something he never wanted to come to light, but I also loved the visual idea of two huge faces looming over him while he's helplessly dangling in the air, forced to tell his most humiliating ordeal from those last two days. But like you said, they were talking and laughing about it like friends, it was now a funny thing to bring them closer together and I liked that fact. While they're both willing to tease him a bit using their size over him, he has no issue with it since he trusts them both.

Oh, Emily knows that look well and she very likely got it from Maria herself since she lost Molly's 'pet', though that was a fact I quite honestly forgot to add to the chapter or the next one. I'll make up for it by adding it somewhere though. As usual, thanks for the review! The next chapter will be the very last one for this story arc and then I'll have to take some time to write the next one.